just doing so poorly

[Determinator]

just doing so poorly

thanks Kate, and Sammys, et al. my wife asked me a great question today: what makes me happy. there is the quick and easy answer, and there is the deeper answer that resides in our darkest part. perhaps that isn't such a bad place....I just don't know anymore. I'm still lost. not feeling sorry for myself anymore, but certainly lost.

[Lou]

just doing so poorly

D,

Sweet heart....you gotta keep on, if i was asked right now what made me happy i wouldn't have an answer..i may pretend to family and such that im ok but truly in my soul i am not happy. Which is why we have to keep on trying and if we fall then sod it..just a blip....you will get there im sure of it, you're such a lovely guy...keep at it!! God knows how many times i fell...its the easy option.
I figured something out today and its that because id drank so much, when i didn't drink i just felt nothing...not depressed not happy just nothing...so i would drink to feel something however horrid it may have been i just drank to feel...something, anything.....quite a revelation to me.

D...you best keep that chin up mister...Love ya millions

Lou-Lou x x x

[Breez]

just doing so poorly

D~

Sounds like you're in the dark pit called rock bottom perhaps. I hit mine when I felt like I fell in a well & couldn't get out. Darkness & doom all around me. When I took a step back I knew there was no place but up. There was a light-life. So I now have shovel in hand and have been digging myself out of my doom & gloom.

D~ONWARD & UPWARD

[Determinator]

just doing so poorly

kate, lou, seabreeze, you are all the very best. do take care and know that I think the ultimate love fore you all.

[dilayne]

just doing so poorly

HI Determinator, dear friend!
I can't express as elequantely (sp?) what everyone else has...but, I do want to give you a big gentle hug, and your wife too. You both are incredible human beings and you are facing depths together that, you will, no doubt, emerge...stronger, wiser, deeper and more united than you ever have been...trust your strength..your spiritual strength...be humble, feel these feelings, exhale, inhale, exhale....be still..be still, be still....feel it...it's not so bad, there is nothing to fear, but fear itself.
((((namaste))))
di

[Lou]

just doing so poorly

D,

and you gotta believe that we think the same of you....you are much loved here, dont you dare be beating yourself up...if you werent a lovely person then you wouldnt have this many friends, I know its s**t sometimes, iv had a rather s**t and strange day myself...just hang in there and please know that we are all here for eachother. Never feel alone...cause your not x x x x

[dilayne]

just doing so poorly

God loves us most when we are humble and when we have no other choice than to surrender....

[ScoobyDoo]

just doing so poorly

D, I think Lou has nailed something...

I hope you love me too because I am seeing what a lovely guy you are as well.

A big hug from me and pass on a hug to your wife from me too.

Doo

[Determinator]

just doing so poorly

dilayne, lou and doo , you wonderful folks. just love you all to pieces. you all have so many kind and adroit words for me. My wife hugs you back by the way. I'm still down in the hole, but climbing besti can. do take care

[I Like Brandy]

just doing so poorly

Determinator;

You're doing just fine! We all have undergone our personal battles, but you did abs for a week, already, and your wife knows it also..Give yourself some credit, it wasn't easy.

:l We're behind you 100%...
Brandy

[julie001]

just doing so poorly

D,

Hang in there. Your six days AF last week provides inspiration for all of us! Also, your complete honesty in your feelings really made me stop and think. If I caved into temptation today, I'd feel the exact same way you are feeling right now in the morning. So what you have done by sharing your feelings so openly is given me incentive for another day of AF (day 4 for me). Thank you. You are doing so much to help yourself just by logging onto this website and sharing what you are going through with all of your MYO friends. Be kind to yourself.

Julie

[gabby]

just doing so poorly

So much love here Determinater.
I ditto everything that has been said with a big hug. You can do it, just try again.

[Popeye]

just doing so poorly

Hello determinator,
You always knew this was going to be hard.
Stick with it though.
It will turn itself around.

[tawnyfrog]

just doing so poorly

Determinator,

At the risk of being flippant ... there's really nothing a crap load of garlic can't fix.

So ... would you consider getting back into the kitchen .....?

[Bella]

just doing so poorly

As popeye says, you know its not easy but i can see from reading your posts that you are indeed a strong person and you have your wife on your side. Use that inner strengh