At last

[Lou]

Hello to all,

Well i have been at the hosp for most of today for my second appt with psychiatrist for diagnostic purposes...and finally i have been officially diagnosed as bi polar, its such a relief that someone is at last listening to me.
I was there all day as they want to start me on Lithium but before they can do that they have to do all sorts of tests to make sure that it wont hurt me..its a really dangerous drug so iv had to give a lot of blood and have an ECG (done by a male doc...most embarrassing). On one hand im so relieved that i am now being taken seriously but on the other im scared of taking this drug....alltho it is proven to help immensely it can kill you if the levels in your blood are just a bit to high. Ill have to have blood tests and ECG's once a week for the first few months....I fear im gonna go back in to my old pattern of sweeping it under the carpet and trying to pretend that im ok....I dont want this, suddenly being told that yes..what i suspected was true. I know i wanted help and a proper diagnosis but now that iv got it im scared. I dont wanna have this illness and i dont want to poison myself with this dangerous drug....its so strange...even tho i knew it im finding it so hard to accept.

Love

Lou-Lou x x

P.S. not back at work till nxt mon now...have been given meds to control my anxiety and help me sleep before i go back.

[Newyear]

At last

Hi Lou-

Just wondering if you couldn't get a second opinion? I don't necessairly mean about the diagnosis but more about the treatment part. I think there are multiple ways of treating this and sounds like they are scaring you with this lithium treatment option.
Are there not other things you could take?
Hsppy that they are starting to listen to you. Stick with it ok? No going backwards.
Lisa:l

[southernbelle47]

At last

{{{LOU}}}

This is hard, isn't it?
It is the right thing to do though to get yourself to where you need to be mentally and emotionally.
I've heard that the main reason some people don't have control of their life is that they won't stay with the treatment.

Give it your all and we will all pray for the best for you.
I think many people who abuse alcohol are Bipolar and just try to self medicate.
It must feel good to finally be heard!

We all love you here..
Nancy:h

[Lou]

At last

Hi Lisa...

Well the other option is cognitive behavioural therapy...which unfortunately has a waiting list of 18 months here..plus the therapy is usually run along side the Lithium.
If this is genuinely gonna help me and im gonna be monitored and looked after then i am willing to give it a go...as scared as i am i wanna get better. The only other option is getting worse and i know that in cases that dont respond to lithium treatment they do end up administrating ECT (electroconvulsive therapy) and there's no way on earth that i wanna go down that route.The cognitive therapy sounds good and i will do it..but i simply cant go another 18 months with nothing...so catch 22 situation, im scared but i have to accept any help thats offered to me, i cant risk having another "episode" between now and starting therapy as i dont know what ill do.

Lou-Lou x

[Lou]

At last

Nancy...thanks for your words..and yes it does feel good that im finally being listened to....still scary tho, even tho i knew it... iv had something to hide behind...now its out in the open i have to deal with it and the treatment for it, i just hope im strong enough. I know i have endless support here and that will always help me

Love

Lou-Lou x x x

[Preciouspinot]

At last

yes, alcohol is a form of self medication for many people suffering from many forms of mental illness .... I can only assume the doctor was just letting you know ALL the possible risks with the medication and didn't mean to frighten you... lithium could help you out tremendously but, there could also be a period of adjustment with side effects like sleepiness, ect....give it a chance and the best of luck. The best treatment is the meds coupled with some form of therapy.

[Accountable for Me]

At last

Lou - you must be so relieved. So many people are misdiagnosed when seeking help for depression. Don't be afraid of what the doctors suggest for you to do. They are taking the appropriate measures to ensure a safe recovery for you by telling you about side effects. I have heard so many 'good' things about Lithium. It has helped so many people combined with therapy to stabilize moods.

Keep us posted with your progress. You will feel better before long now that you know what you are dealing with !!

[Lou]

At last

Thanks..PP and Acct....you have relaxed me a little, i know i have to do whatever i can to make myself better. I have been doing loads of reading on Lithium...still scary, but i s'pose its just like the leaflets you recieve with any medication...they have to say what could possibly happen, even if the likleyhood is v small.
I need to focus on the main thing here which is that im finaly being listened to and taken seriously, this is what iv waited so long for so i guess i now have to stop hiding and take myself seriously too.....still scary initially, i hope i become less afraid of this.

Thanks for your support and love to all

Lou-Lou x x x

[AAthlete]

At last

Lou, I know that is was scary when I went on anti-depression meds, so I can't even imagine what lithium would make me feel like.

That being said, having some validation to the way that you have been feeling is nothing but positive. Regardless of what happens, you are now seeing light at the end of the tunnel, which leads to nothing but positives in all other parts of your life.

I wish you nothing but the best no matter what happens....

[AAthlete]

At last

Lou, I know that is was scary when I went on anti-depression meds, so I can't even imagine what lithium would make me feel like.

That being said, having some validation to the way that you have been feeling is nothing but positive. Regardless of what happens, you are now seeing light at the end of the tunnel, which has to lead to some validation in all other parts of your life.

I wish you nothing but the best no matter what happens....

[Newyear]

At last

Hey Lou- After I wrote yesterday I googled bi polar and medications.
Lithium was mentioned but it didn't seem too drastic or scary the way it was described.
It seemed to be a common and regularly used treatment.
Sometimes doctors don't have the best bedside manner! Glad you are doing some reading up too. I think this is very good news. Lithium may just work great for you.
I wish you all the best. :l
Lisa

[Cashregister]

At last

Lou, me tooooo!!!

Just been in hospital after an amazing manic episode - gross.

Please PM me, I can tell you all about alternatives to medications - I tried Lithium - no help (2 weeks ago) and got really bad fluid build up - so am now on gabapentin and it's absolutely marvellous. there is also tegretol, sodium valproate and even topomax (yes the wonder drug - treats everything!!!) that can be used, in conjunctionwith many other meds, to stabilise mood.

Hang in there, i'm so pleased you got a solid diagnosis.

It has really helped me uinderstand why I was drinking - haven't had one for 3 weeks and 3 days now! and don't want one either - more to the point!

I am so so so pleased for you

lots and lots of love

Cashy
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[Cashregister]

At last

Oh and ECT is the LAST option they take - after many years of non-response - so it's hardly likely - my doc has not even raised the subject!

[YoungAtHeart]

At last

Hey Lou-Lou,

Yes there are other options besides lithium, but lithium is usually the first mood stabilizer they will try with bi-polar disorder.

I have had two clients who have had atypical bi-polar disorder (didn't follow the classic pattern, but instead became agitated and paranoid instead of manic and high). In one instance, years ago, lithium literally changed my client's life. She went from someone who could hardly decide what to wear in the morning (and made a near-lethal suicide attempt) into the bright competent woman she was meant to be. After lithium, she went on to get an advanced degree and get married.

More recently, a client of mine who has been suffering from paranoia for years was (FINALLY!!!!) put on lithium. She has been on every antipsychotic in the book for "paranoid schizophrenia". Within 3 days her paranoia had calmed down considerably, and she is now being weaned off of the antipsychotic medication. She is not schizophrenic, she is bi-polar! Misdiagnosed for years!!! GRRRRR!

You will have to get your blood levels checked, as you noted, and lithium does have some side effects, but it can be a life saver, as well. If you haven't read it already, see if you can get a hold of the book, An Unquiet Mind, by Kay Jamison. She is a psychologist who also suffers from bi-polar disorder and takes lithium.

Anyway, I'm getting very wordy here, but I did want to chime in and say that I have seen lithium provide some extraordinary results, and there are other medication options if lithium doesn't help, as Cashy mentioned.

I'm glad that you finally got your diagnosis straightened out--and it can be scary when you do finally get what you've been fighting for! All the best, Lou-Lou! Good work!

Hugs,
Kathy

[nancy]

At last

waiting list

you mentioned there is a waiting list for cognitive behavior therapy.

can you afford to go private? even every other week?

i think therapists are willing to negotiate their fees based on clients' income.

also, there are schools in the UK that offer discounted rates with therapists who are in training, but still experienced.

I like the last post with some positive things about medication. sometimes we get really nervous about medication for mental illness but they can have such a positive effect, like anti-depressants do!

good luck