Reaching out...
Thank you SO much for your support and very wise advice.
Mick, this is from you, to me...
A HUGE reason I need to get AL out of my life is to make MONEY.
Not greedy money, just stand on my own two feet, support myself money.
When the economy tanked in the US, I went from a a six figure income to barely, barely five. And my drinking was fuel for that fire!
So I moved in with my BF. got into a huge fight and called a very good friend. An elderly gentleman with a big multi million dollar home with lots of empty bedrooms. I insisted upon paying him rent and sharing in groceries, etc...and for the most part it has worked out well.
So a couple of times he has asked if I was woken up by this girl who has come by for money. Which I hadn't , but told him anyone asking for money at 3 am is more than likely looking for drug money, not money for groceries or necessities.
I told my BF about this and he was like come on....he is getting something in return, ie sex. I was adamant that I thought my friend was just giving her money because he really is a nice guy and has the money.
Well, tonight the phone rings , I am on PCT, and I think...who is calling him at this hour? I'm watching tv downstairs and he comes down. I asked if everything was okay. He said fine , just that girl calling.
I didn't know what to do. I texted my BF with no response until I finally asked my friend if I should go upstairs. He replied , if you wouldn't mind. Go upstairs. My bf finally calls back and I am just creeped out. Maybe I am a prude, but I am just feeling dirty by association. My BF goes on to lecture me about how
Stupid I was to think otherwise...I had him worried with all of my texts...is this the only thing going on...blah,blah blah
I am in a toxic environment. My friend, although I love him dearly, is also an alcoholic. Since I've been living here I have had to fake drinking....LOL...crystal light lemonade faked as a marg, diet coke as a rum and coke....
But don't let that fool you, the trickery and hiding...not from him, but others has also been there, only on the negative side...ie,hiding wine bottles.
So, yes. I am a fool. Not so judgmental about sex for money, only with my friend, right now, down the hall...it creeps me out.
Which is why I need to get out. And obviously, judging from the past, it's not going to happen if I continue drinking....
And Mick, super huge congrats to your 120 days!
Thank you SO much for your support and very wise advice.
Mick, this is from you, to me...
A HUGE reason I need to get AL out of my life is to make MONEY.
Not greedy money, just stand on my own two feet, support myself money.
When the economy tanked in the US, I went from a a six figure income to barely, barely five. And my drinking was fuel for that fire!
So I moved in with my BF. got into a huge fight and called a very good friend. An elderly gentleman with a big multi million dollar home with lots of empty bedrooms. I insisted upon paying him rent and sharing in groceries, etc...and for the most part it has worked out well.
So a couple of times he has asked if I was woken up by this girl who has come by for money. Which I hadn't , but told him anyone asking for money at 3 am is more than likely looking for drug money, not money for groceries or necessities.
I told my BF about this and he was like come on....he is getting something in return, ie sex. I was adamant that I thought my friend was just giving her money because he really is a nice guy and has the money.
Well, tonight the phone rings , I am on PCT, and I think...who is calling him at this hour? I'm watching tv downstairs and he comes down. I asked if everything was okay. He said fine , just that girl calling.
I didn't know what to do. I texted my BF with no response until I finally asked my friend if I should go upstairs. He replied , if you wouldn't mind. Go upstairs. My bf finally calls back and I am just creeped out. Maybe I am a prude, but I am just feeling dirty by association. My BF goes on to lecture me about how
Stupid I was to think otherwise...I had him worried with all of my texts...is this the only thing going on...blah,blah blah
I am in a toxic environment. My friend, although I love him dearly, is also an alcoholic. Since I've been living here I have had to fake drinking....LOL...crystal light lemonade faked as a marg, diet coke as a rum and coke....
But don't let that fool you, the trickery and hiding...not from him, but others has also been there, only on the negative side...ie,hiding wine bottles.
So, yes. I am a fool. Not so judgmental about sex for money, only with my friend, right now, down the hall...it creeps me out.
Which is why I need to get out. And obviously, judging from the past, it's not going to happen if I continue drinking....
And Mick, super huge congrats to your 120 days!
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