binge drinking etc etc

[LilyC]

hi new to this site but guessing there must be people here with experience of trying to get off binge drinking (in my case I mean severe binge drinking ie lack of memory even if falling over, hurting oneself, having sex etc etc). I've had enough of my issues and want to sort it out now. Got a session booked in with counsellor in a week but in meantime anyone sorted themselves out in any other way? Oh and I'm 51 by the way and this has happened randomly throughout my life. Now affected/possibly ended a relationship with a lovely lovely man so am so sad about that if I ever get a chance of seeing him again it would be through me sorting myself out. Also have relationship issues ie insecurity if not seeing him, wanting to see him even if he's busy etc etc. He's now backed off and this week has been hell. I've had depression big time in the past, not taken though was prescribed fluoexetine last year, got through that on my own in the end. Always over relationships by the way! Can't blame others, have to work things out myself and sort myself out. People think I'm so confident but I'm not! Anyway enough info for people to read for now, let's see if anyone replies....

[Slaythefear]

binge drinking etc etc

LilyC, sounds like you should do some research on low self esteem, learning to love and be happy with yourself alone or with someone. See my toxic relationship article section. Maybe someone can start a self esteem thread. All these issues send us running for alcohol. I don't have much time, but wanted to give you a shout. I am always trying to figure myself out and work on things. Who knows me best? Me.

Today the internet is such a valuable resource for articles, books, research, etc.

You can hook up in the Newbies Nest too. Lots of folks there.

[lostsole]

binge drinking etc etc

It does indeed sound like it's more of something than a drinking issue.

I do think counseling is a good choice and possibly a change in meds.

Don't get me wrong I don't think meds are a good long term solution to most things.

Just hang tight and don't do anything manic as it won't help your situation.

[Struggles 106]

binge drinking etc etc

Hey Lily

I am exactly like you! I am not drinking but it's because of years of the exact same behavior that you describe. It gets to a point where you just cannot continue the madness.
I am also on Prozac for a long time, and we both know that drinking is not going to help anything at all.
Don't feel alone! We are all here and you can PM me any time. I stick around here since it helps me immensely, so if you want to chat that would be fine.
I always found it hard to be alone and feel isolated. And to me blackouts are the very worst thing. You can be free of it, it is not easy sometimes but it just gets better.
You have to hang on each day and see the progress slowly. You didn't get there overnight, so hang on.
Stay strong and take care

[K9Lover]

binge drinking etc etc

Hi Lily and Welcome!

I just wanted you to know that you are definitely NOT alone in this. I was blacking out almost every night. Over the years I've done scary, dangerous, potentially harmful things that I can barely remember (if at all). I agree with the others that counseling would probably be a great place to start. It may help you identify why alcohol has become such a big part of life. I know for me, I was stressed, tired, bored, happy, sad...any reason was a reason to drink! Please hang in there and keep posting. We're here to help!

K9

[Alcoholic]

binge drinking etc etc

Lilyc:

Glad you are taking a step towards the right direction. Go talk to the counselor and see what they think, and stay on the site and see what others have done. The more you learn, the more likely you will find a way out and find a solution. Keep looking and I hope you find your way out!

[LilyC]

binge drinking etc etc

Really nice to see all the support from people, thank you! I will keep in touch with the site and oh well, realising it's not a quick fix. I am seeing the counsellor lady next thursday evening but it's a drag until then, especially as the man I was seeing until last friday is having a "step back" from me for now and my drunken outbursts over the phone last friday (haven't got a clue what I said!) was the last straw and being the sensitive soul that I am, it has left me heartbroken on top of feeling retched for being such a drunk at times (and never remembering!). This site seems very good and I will keep reading the posts and take the support too from other members.


Interesting that K9 mentions that any reason goes when drinking too much, from sadness, joy, tiredness etc etc, yes I can relate to that completely! If I thought it was just one mood it might make it easier but it isn't like that is it?

Guess drinking helps me be the laugh and soul etc, until I go over that line and then every single time, (when I drink too much, I can drink a couple occasionally!) that's it, memory loss and falling over occurs! Yes maybe I should look at why i drink and why I need to. Lady at work yesterday said something nice to me when we spoke about it, she said why would I need drink to enjoy a night out when I'm a very sociable fun to be with person as it is, awww how sweet! So my perception of how I am is different to others I guess! Anyway best post this, it's getting kinda long!

[lostsole]

binge drinking etc etc

I was the same way for a while. Eventually everything became a reason to drink a good bit. That's when I became a full fledged alcoholic.

Long live baclofen.

[K9Lover]

binge drinking etc etc

LilyC;1404538 wrote: Interesting that K9 mentions that any reason goes when drinking too much, from sadness, joy, tiredness etc etc, yes I can relate to that completely! If I thought it was just one mood it might make it easier but it isn't like that is it?

If only! It would be so much easier if we could understand the "Why's" of drinking, but for most of us, it just IS...there's no reason, we can't even explain it to ourselves, much less anybody else. Once we can accept that drinking is not a reward, it's actually poison, it gets a lot easier. When you can make the switch from deprivation thinking "Oh why can't I drink anymore?" to gratitude thinking "I never have to drink again!", that's when the switch flips. Hang in there and stick close!

K9

[LilyC]

binge drinking etc etc

Thanks....

Thanks i keep reading all the posts, nice to know I'm not alone. This isn't helped at all by the fact my lovely man after the last time I got drunk (and had said some silly things prior to that when sober) is "taking a break from me" without seeing if i can sort things out. He's not sure he wants to be seeing someone with a drink problem (amongst other things he said too) That is making it tougher although yes I realise i must change for my sake I get that but when I'm low I usually turn to drink. But this time I haven't. Since it happened 9 days ago I've had a couple of nights of having a few drinks nothing major, not got drunk at all and that is surprising for me. Guess we all want to think that problems can just sort themselves out but deep down we know it takes time and effort. I just want someone to be proud of me. To give me a hug and say well done you! He was my rock and if he knew how I've been this last week, not drinking to excess, well. I tried to text him and tell him how good I'd been but he ignored my text. I try to keep myself busy but it's not easy. I have great cats, a lovely lodger and good friends but just worry that it won't take much for me to just down a bottle of wine or more and think yeah that feels better and then god knows what I'd text him etc (I miss him loads you see)! Nah, I'm actually quite liking waking up with a clear head! I will keep reading all the postings and try to be resolved. Thank you and good luck to us all eh? Glad I've found this site. xxx

[LilyC]

binge drinking etc etc

Thanks to you all. I did go out last friday but only had two drinks, a big step for me. Am attending my first group session tomorrow night which is another thing to look forward to. I have started reading the book My Way Out which arrived yesterday so what with those and this forum for support, I can only hope that things might start to change for now. I don't expect overnight miracles but just deciding is a step forward I guess. Being depressed at the moment doesn't help but for the first time, I've not turned to drink which is good. Have had no urges at all. Just having support here and in person with the group and the counsellor will help me. Thanks again.

[Shezzie]

binge drinking etc etc

Hi LilyC
You are the same as me! Both age and binge problem. Stay on track. I have found I am kidding myself when I think I can drink in moderation. The blackouts are awful, and my resolve is to keep off it. Find a sport/hobby to relieve anxiety and stress. Not easy, but doable. Don't look back, look to the future. Can't change the past, but you are in control of your future. I also am new to this site. You can do it!