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DRUNK SISTER

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    DRUNK SISTER

    HI Friends

    I just wanted to share this with you guys. I have mentioned before that my sister drinks wine every night, and is generally toxic so I tend to stay away from her.
    I can clearly see the escalation of her drinking, in frequency and amounts.
    Last night she was really bad; she tends to drunk-dial me and others. Usually she doesn't get WAY out of control but that is changing. She is highly functioning and makes no bones about "drinking my wine" in the evenings.
    Though I have not had a drink in a long time, due to my drinking history, she would pooh-pooh anything I would say, if I were so inclined to say anything.
    I think it is prefectly normal to see this escalation, from 1 bottle a night to probably 2 by now. I don't ask her. I'm just guessing really.
    I would bet that she did not make it to work today, which is not uncommon. the bottom line is I'm just talking about it. There is nothing I can do.
    To be brutally honest-it helps me in the sense that I can see how I never ever want to be again. that is selfish I know, but I cannot make her stop . I always try to be kind to her. She is a very negative judgemental person anyway, so it's hard to deal with her at times.
    I also believe that it's in my best interest to stay away from her for my own sake. there again selfish but I have to take care of myself first. I cannot be drug down into the abyss again.
    Thank you all for being here.

    Peace and have a good weekend amigos!

    #2
    DRUNK SISTER

    I agree, and I can see how it would help you stay sober
    I love my family more than alcohol.:h
    Live in the Solution....not the problem

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      #3
      DRUNK SISTER

      Ann, I feel your pain..... my younger sister who is also like my best friend in the entire world, is a horrible alcoholic and has battled it for years and years now and my heart breaks for her. She recently got on naltrexone and has been sober for 35 days..... I always tried to wait for the right time to bring it up to her but I know that can be tough to find....

      You are doing all you can and need to always think first about yourself..........
      And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back so shake him off ~ Florence and the Machine

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        #4
        DRUNK SISTER

        Hey Vlive

        Thanks! 35 days -that's great for your sister. My sister would never admit she has a problem. Well I take that back-she has been known to say that she could not believe all the wine bottles to throw out and she was quitting. That was several years ago and of course did not happen.
        She is kind of mean at times and likes to sort of make fun of me for not drinking. It is really weird and stupid so I just stay away from it. There is no compassion for my struggle-just smart ass comments like "Oh you're doing the not drinking thing again?"
        It's been a while since I have been sober for quite some time. She doesn't say that anymore but she is hard to be around sometimes. She can be a kind and generous person and frankly I feel sorry for her.
        I have to be selfish when it comes to not killing myself with alcohol. I have my 23 y/o
        daughter to love and be with for a lot more years (I hope)

        Comment


          #5
          DRUNK SISTER

          i feel for you ann,my mom has always been a drinker,it seems like the only time she gets along with me is if im drinking with her,all my brothers are like her too so,im trying to avoid family,how sad,but needed.
          I have too much shit to do today and tomorrow to drink:sohappy:

          I'm taking care of the "tomorrow me":thumbsup:
          Drinkin won't help a damn thing! Will only make me sick for DAYS and that ugly, spacey dumb feeling-no thanks!

          Comment


            #6
            DRUNK SISTER

            Ann I can see what you're talking about and I'm afraid that was me not too long ago. I wouldn't even admit to myself I had a problem, much less to another person. I was defensive too. The truth was, I was stuck in a terrible habit that I couldn't/didn't want to stop...on the one hand I wanted to get control back, and I wanted to be able to get things done/go to work/function normally but on the other, ridiculous hand, I just couldn't imagine not having that crutch, that buzz, to look forward to, every frickin day. All I can say is that I am so thankful to be out of the clutches of that terrible dilemma. I never want to go back to that daily hell.

            I really hope your sister gets out of that vicious cycle.


            "I like people too much or not at all."
            Sylvia Plath

            Comment


              #7
              DRUNK SISTER

              Thanks LG

              It is such a shame. She is 71 and I hate to see her end her life this way. She has grandchildren and like I said is highly functional so it makes it easier to keep up the pretense that it's OK.
              She would be furious if I said anything to her about it. Her daughters are aware of it but not compelled to address it I suppose

              Comment


                #8
                DRUNK SISTER

                71???? WOW...does she not have any health issues at this point??
                I love my family more than alcohol.:h
                Live in the Solution....not the problem

                Comment


                  #9
                  DRUNK SISTER

                  Hey Mama

                  Well yeah she does but not as much as you would expect. She has had each knee replaced from years of tennis. Also has been told from CT that she has a fatty liver, which is surely a result of drinking but she swears they said it was not.

                  She has the typical gastric/reflux type sumptoms from overdrinking which she blames
                  on other stuff. Oh she is a piece of work

                  Comment


                    #10
                    DRUNK SISTER

                    Anna, I wish I had read this earlier. It may have made the difference between opening a bottle or not. Any, no excuses.
                    My daughter was at my mums house this evening. She rang me about 6 and asked me to come get her. I knew by her voice that she was distressed. She is 16, has been home-schooled this past 5 yrs due to anxiety issues and basically her life is me and my other 3 children, but recently has made the move to spend time with my mum and dad and my other sister nearby.
                    When I picked her up she was in absolute distress, crying....
                    My twat, bully, control freak of a sister bullied and embarrassed her in front of other family members. My daughter is the most sensitive wee soul...
                    My sister controls events at my mums house and is always there....she is off work sick(sick in the head!!!!IMO!!!)
                    I wanted to go in and pull her head off! But she is so controlling she would destroy us in another way....you really have no idea. What happened tonight was without drinking but when she is, that is another story.
                    My poor daughter is distressed and we feel we can do nothing to stop my mad sister. I too feel sorry for her because she is her own worst enemy, but when you affect my daughter!!!???
                    Sorry Anna, I feel for you but just off-loading because I relate...
                    IT'S NEVER TOO LATE TO BE WHAT YOU MIGHT HAVE BEEN
                    Relapse starts long before the drink is drunk!!.Fresh Start!

                    Comment


                      #11
                      DRUNK SISTER

                      Hey Daisy

                      Holy Cow! I am sorry for your daughter. My daughter is the same very sensitive type. Don;t let your sister treat your daughter badly! Drinking or not-there's no excuse for that.
                      My sister used to try that crap when my daughter was little but I was not having it.

                      I hope everything works out Daisy

                      Comment


                        #12
                        DRUNK SISTER

                        Thank you for responding Anna. I haven't told anybody or said anything: you know that 'lest said, soonest mended' thing. I feel like moving. I have done for years because of her. But my dad has cancer right now and I am the main person involved so when we go to their house she is always there! She is spoilt rotten. My mum and dad feed her every day(she lives round the corner with a perfect house and unused kitchen!) and when she says anything out of turn we are all supposed to understand. I am so sick of her and her bullshit but I have to keep my mouth closed for my dads sake. Sorry for off-loading. You are getting it all because I am trying not to cause bother for my mum and dad.
                        IT'S NEVER TOO LATE TO BE WHAT YOU MIGHT HAVE BEEN
                        Relapse starts long before the drink is drunk!!.Fresh Start!

                        Comment


                          #13
                          DRUNK SISTER

                          Hey Daisy

                          Oh I understand completely! Families can be so difficult, especially when the parents are involved and sibling stuff.
                          My parents are both long gone but my 3 sisters are all kind of crazy. I probably am too but I try to be crazyin a good way .LOL

                          Comment


                            #14
                            DRUNK SISTER

                            Thank you Anna; you have no idea how much you have helped. I feel so much lighter now. I'm probably crazy too, but I checked with my daughters and they have reassured me She is nuts!!!! The one good thing is that when shit like this happens they appreciate me more. I know you are not a crazy chic and am so grateful for you tonight. Nightie night!
                            IT'S NEVER TOO LATE TO BE WHAT YOU MIGHT HAVE BEEN
                            Relapse starts long before the drink is drunk!!.Fresh Start!

                            Comment


                              #15
                              DRUNK SISTER

                              Daisy

                              Good night-talk to you tomorrow

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