Gotta stop! It's killing me

[stiff one]

Well I went a whole 2 days AF and talked my wife into going for dinner and Martinis.
The sad part is we had seperate cars so i stopped and got more on the way home. The next day I was hung so i put alittle in my coffee. Help for a while but now I've crashed. Shakes, sweats, headaches. I'm now trying to convince myself to pour out the rest. I was doing well. got my book and herbs. Still have to talk to my doctor about Topamax.
I am honestly scared! My bloodpressure is high. Does anyone else get this fearful, desperate, insecure feeling. I'm so tired but I'm afraid to go to sleep as I might not wake up. I am a very happy, healthy, well adjusted person. How did this happen to me. My wife leaves tomarrow for a week. I cannot allow myself to drink! I'm going to try to listen to the hypno tapes tonight god I hope they will help me. I'm sure I'm over reacting. My wife says I'm making way to big a deal about all of this but she doesn't know about the extra bottle I got and that makes me feel even worse.
Sorry to run on. Any help would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks to all for listening

me

[lushy]

Gotta stop! It's killing me

Hi Stiffone, do me a favor and at least read the book and consider trying the supplements suggested and the CDs. They make all the difference in the cravings for alcohol IF you are ready for that change. They really have helped me to moderate beyond what I ever thought I could do. Do not get down on yourself. Just do your research and try some different things out. You will find your way. PLease stick around here. The support here is priceless.

[stiff one]

Gotta stop! It's killing me

thanks

Thanks Lush,
I just feel like I'm losing it! I won't have internet access all next week. Wife is taking the network card. Bummer. The only cds i got were the hypno cds and one on refraning in social situations. Do the hypno cds go over the suppliments? This is all new to me and my brain is mush right now. I'm taking Kudzu rescue, Primrose,L-glutamine, B-50,powder vitamins and 1 or 2 others that came in the starter pack. I'm suposed to be doing bids right now but I just can't stop thinking about this.

me

[stiff one]

Gotta stop! It's killing me

Well, I woke up today. Still feel lousey.My head hurts.
I'm going to pour out the Vodka and go work out. Hopefully that will get some of the cob webs out and help me fhink so I can get these bids done. Always more work to be done.
Sunday SUCK for me.

[Breez]

Gotta stop! It's killing me

Hang in there....it's tough at first. The first week is usually the killer. As long as you're working toward a goal and following a plan you're not failing. Every step forward is a small accomplishment.

Read the book, take the supplements & do the Cd. Suggestion: Try going to the library & log on there if you need access to internet.

Above all-never give up

[surfer2]

Gotta stop! It's killing me

hey stiff one
my experience with the CD's is that they do help a lot.but it says in the instructions that you have to do them every day for at least a minimum of 14 days.the best is to do them for a solid month.i didn't experience any real improvement for at least a week.however after 2 weeks i had this dream and in the dream i drank a 12 pack of beer and a bottle of vodka and i was still sober.i think that was my subconscious telling me that booze is useless and a waste of time.so yes keep at them they do work.

[Beaches]

Gotta stop! It's killing me

Hi Stiffone,
I know it's tought when the partner goes out of town b/c it seems like it free reign. However I am glad to hear that you are going to take this opportunity to get back on track. I did the same thing, the extra bottle on the way home or the spiked morning drink to get over the hangover. It's just not worth it. Is there anyway you can get on for support while she's out of town? Best of luck to you and check back in.