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    #1

    NOT SO GREAT NEWS

    Hi friends

    I just wanted to post to get some support. I have told you guys about my daughter in the Navy.
    She got married in August (another story completely) and I was very hopeful. She called me at 4 a.m. crying her heart out. He had told her that maybe they rushed into it too quickly. She is a wreck. They are stationed apart-she in Cali, he is in Viriginia. He was supposed to go there tomorrow for a long weekend together. I am assuming he is going.
    It breaks my heart to hear her so sad. She said she felt like she tries so hard and feels like she is never good enough. Heartbreaking.
    If I have to drop everything and go there I will. So this is what is happening. I'll certainly not drink over it, and I hope they work it out. If they don't I want to help her NOT turn to alcohol to numb the pain.

    Thanks all for being here
    Tags: None
    #2
    NOT SO GREAT NEWS

    Hi Ann...they'll always be the babies we want to protect. Sorry your daughter is experiencing some love bumps in life. Let's hope they are able to work this out?? I would stay closely connected (fine balance though hey)and if she needs you to, go to her as I guess it would not be as easy for her to come to you. Stay strong Mom. xo
    Psalms 119:45


    ?Start by doing what is necessary, then what is possible, and suddenly you are doing the impossible.?

    St. Francis of Assisi



    I'm not perfect, never will be, but better than I was and not as good as I'm going to be.

    :rays:

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      #3
      NOT SO GREAT NEWS

      Thanks RC

      Thank you for the support. You are right, she cannot leave her base so I would have to go there. Which is fine and I will if necessary.

      She is a big part of my staying sober. I just look at her picture and know that she needs me around and it really helps.

      Have a wonderful Thanksgiving

      Comment

        #4
        NOT SO GREAT NEWS

        Big hugs to both of you Ann. Isn't it liberating being sober, we can offer support anytime, anywhere!
        It is not what we do, but how much love we put into the doing.
        Mother Theresa

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          #5
          NOT SO GREAT NEWS

          My son had a disastrous relationship AND a son who we never see anymore, that was five years ago and it made him so ill and unhappy.

          He just got engaged to a fabulous girl and they are so happy.this may be the best thing for your girl and at least there are no kids involved ( I assume)

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            #6
            NOT SO GREAT NEWS

            I have Pm'd you - hugs and stay strong XXX
            How simple it is to see that we can only be happy now and there will never be a time when it is not now....

            Comment

              #7
              NOT SO GREAT NEWS

              I do hope things work out for everyone Ann. Stay strong. I wish you and yours all the best!
              Outside of a dog a book is mans best friend. Inside of a dog its too dark to read

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                #8
                NOT SO GREAT NEWS

                Ann, I'm sorry your DD is going through a rough time. I hope, if it's for the best, that they can work things out. It's true that it's so good to be sober at a time like this when you can be there for your loved ones when they need you the most. Stay strong and your daughter will draw strength from you!

                LG


                "I like people too much or not at all."                 Sylvia Plath

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                  #9
                  NOT SO GREAT NEWS

                  Hi Ann,

                  I'm so very sorry your daughters' heart is breaking, as it means yours is likely too! I hope this is just frustration on his part on being so far away from her? It must be very difficult to be Newlyweds & be this far apart. It can cause many upsetting things. I do hope he will come & see her over this Holiday. Communication is so important now!!

                  I'd do the same thing, if he doesn't show. I'd get on a plane & go if that's what she needed or wanted. Of course I'd want to go even if she said no Mom.

                  Very thankful your sober & present for you & her. My first born daughter & Mom have needed me to be there to. I'm grateful to be sober today!

                  I will be thinking of you both.

                  Love, :h

                  Wildflowers :l

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                    #10
                    NOT SO GREAT NEWS

                    I am so sorry Ann. My son was dumped a few months ago and was heartbroken.
                    I love my family more than alcohol.:h
                    Live in the Solution....not the problem

                    Comment

                      #11
                      NOT SO GREAT NEWS

                      THanks guys

                      She called me again at 4 am crying that he was not coming. He was supposed to be up and going to the airport early EST and was not answering his phone.
                      She finally calmed down after he texted and said he was coming.
                      After talking to her a while I see now that he is reverting to his childish emotional black mail bs he used to do a few years ago. Accusing her of crap, not letting her know when he gets home when he is out. Telling her he feels like she is his mother,etc etc. Along with the typical passive aggressive dis of saying "I'm not good enough"

                      I don't see good things happeneing here because he is who he is. He does not have the introspection and self-awarenesss required to understand what a commitment is and that your actions have consequences. She told me she is seeing the "old Kyle" coming out, which is exactly what I feared. He is immature at 27.
                      I have not told the father my ex since she asked me not to and he is such an ass that I doubt if he could keep himself from saying I TOLD YOU SO or some such hurtful shit.

                      They have 4 days now to see what happens. I have shared with her all the wisdom I have (which may not be much) about heartbreak and life's peaks and valleys. I have assured her that she is NOT to blame.

                      Thanks again all. Time will tell.

                      Comment

                        #12
                        NOT SO GREAT NEWS

                        I bet you'll be on the edge of your seat all weekend. Hope you are taking measures to keep relaxed yourself. Lovely essential oils, calming tea, good book/movie, craft....whatever gives you pleasure and relaxes you. (af of course) Don't forget to take care of you.
                        Psalms 119:45


                        ?Start by doing what is necessary, then what is possible, and suddenly you are doing the impossible.?

                        St. Francis of Assisi



                        I'm not perfect, never will be, but better than I was and not as good as I'm going to be.

                        :rays:

                        Comment

                          #13
                          NOT SO GREAT NEWS

                          Hello Ann, I'll be thinking of you. I'm pretty sure the wisdom you shared was special and she will remember it as she travels through life. Hugs, Nicey.
                          It is not what we do, but how much love we put into the doing.
                          Mother Theresa

                          Comment

                            #14
                            NOT SO GREAT NEWS

                            Thanks again guys

                            Here's the latest-she called an hour or so ago. The little prick missed his connecting flight from LA to Fresno with a 2 HOUR LAYOVER. Now she is driving to LA 3 hrs to get his immature ass. She is more mad than anything now. I talked to her again for a long time.

                            I am pretty sure this is not going to end well. I am trying to make her realize that she is not at fault at all. I am so glad to be able to help her. I would not be surprised if he leaves early. She was appalled that he missed his flight and he hung up on her, then called her back and said ARE you done with your attitude? VERY typical emotional blackmail-trying to make her think SHE is unreasonable.

                            She is such a good young woman, so bright and trusting. If this is a bump inthe road she has to face it will be hard and I'll be there. She said shse is afraid she will be sad over it forever. I tried to explain that time heals all things and she can stay true to herself and be OK. I also told her I am concerned that if it doesn't go well that she might be temoted to numb the pain with alcohol. She said absoultely not, that drinking does not appeal to her at all. I am hoping my former worry is this regard is no longer warranted. Maybe the demon actually did NOT go from me to her.

                            Thanks to all. I'm sitting here having my Thanksgiving dinner-wings from Wal Mart. LOL
                            All is well with me, except for worry about her.

                            Thank you everyone. Your support means the world to me

                            Comment

                              #15
                              NOT SO GREAT NEWS

                              Hugs Ann - so pleased for you really! You're ability to be present for your DD, you've got chicken wings (LOL), you're being true to YOU, WE have you here with us, and we care about you..... Life is pretty good huh?

                              Lessons like this are tough and I wish I'd learned more of these kinds while I was a lot younger. I've never made good decisions about the men I allow in my life. I'm 50 next year and wish....never mind - LOL. My second daughter recently called it off with her fella because her future looked grim. She said it was SO hard but knew it was the right thing to do. Wish I'd have been so brave.
                              It is not what we do, but how much love we put into the doing.
                              Mother Theresa

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