Attitude from others when you say you're quitting...

[kuya]

Attitude from others when you say you're quitting...

maddiemadison;1416141 wrote: I'm facing this situation today, it's hot down under and my daughter want's to ask a friend over to swim, but this means the Mum will come too, she is a daily drinker and we often get very merry together it's a regular weekly thing... Do I say yes and know i'm putting myself in temptations way? there is no way she won't bring wine and want to drink... and if I say no to my daughter for a play with her friend I'll feel bad...

Been wondering how to deal with the situation, what to day to my girlfriend, I know she will understand, I feel she is in the same boat, we've just not spoken about it.
Honesty ? H
Getting in shape for summer

The first test of social get togethers AF, no matter what I'm determined to stay AF and not fall into temptation no matter who's drinking around me.. Looking forward to reporting back tomorrow.

Thanks for everyone for sharing there experiences facing this, it helps to know we are not alone and how big the society issue is around Booze being so normal and how peopel see it as weird it is when we don't participate.

Actually Maddie I would be tempted to tell her you are on antibiotics today. Your quit is too new to have pressure. Talk with her later on, when you are feeling stronger and maybe can even help her too........how great would that be.
The last thing you need now is to alienate her and add loneliness for you AND your daughter into the mix.
Just my thoughts

[TheSunFlower]

Attitude from others when you say you're quitting...

Jingle...I find your FB experiment interesting.

I have a cousin who runs alot races and he posts when he is going AL free....everyone supports him and ALL say how much better this will make his race time. True runners know that . Even Oprah had a good post about how "one glass of wine" affected her training for a marathon.

But, I will say for my cousin....it is just few days of AF that he talking about. Nothing long term and that may make the difference.


Good Luck

[Raven2012]

Attitude from others when you say you're quitting...

Oh Jingle, now that I've heard 199 days response I pause. We all have different values. For me, I was always the mom on the block who threw big parties and everyone could come to my my house and feel welcome. My mission was was more about mom empowerment than not drinking . I've drank myself so I can't imagine judgment. So many people are in different stages. If I drew a line, I'd be friendless! No fun. Thats why I suggest the carefree approach. No need to preach at this point. Wait until your a bit further in.

[JingleJo]

Attitude from others when you say you're quitting...

Thanks for your replies folk - really appreciate you sharing your views

In retrospect, I probably shouldn't have made the post on facebook. Altho, I said I was only giving up for a 6 month period to coincide with a 6 month marathon training plan (marathon is in 6 months time in May). So, I didn't approach it with a "I'm giving up for good" way and I was careful not pass judgement on alcohol drinkers or anything. I kept my tone very neutral throughout and wasn't putting up an argument as such. Was merely saying I was gonna try it to see if it made a difference to my training and if I noticed any other benefits.

I guess I was just curious to see what kind of reaction it would provoke, plus thought it would give me a non-suspicious reason to say I was giving up.

199days - I can see what you are saying to a certain point. I live in Glasgow and it's no big secret that we have one of the worst alcohol abuse records in Europe and I do believe a lot of my friends and others I know do have a problem or at least an unhealthy relationship with alcohol, but they would never associate themselves with having an issue due to it kinda being the norm to get wrecked all the time for a lot of people.

Plus a lot of people have a stereotypical view of what an alky or problem drinker is and they wouldn't think it was them in a million years.

Anyway, my approach from now on is gonna be discretion and just going with the flow. Definitely no preaching or gloating and definitely no posts on facebook again haha. xx

[mario]

Attitude from others when you say you're quitting...

At the very start of this journey for me most of my real friends and family did not believe me when I said I would stop drinking alcohol for good,I had said it to many times before,And to be honest about others most did not care either way.

[maddiemadison]

Attitude from others when you say you're quitting...

Thanks Kuya

kuya;1416164 wrote: Actually Maddie I would be tempted to tell her you are on antibiotics today. Your quit is too new to have pressure. Talk with her later on, when you are feeling stronger and maybe can even help her too........how great would that be.
The last thing you need now is to alienate her and add loneliness for you AND your daughter into the mix.
Just my thoughts

It was a very interesting day, my friend didn't come over, she was busy, but my son had a birthday party that night and with lot's of mutual friends were present. Many seem insulted when I said I wasn't drinking with them and tried many different ways to change my mind.. it was a good test and an interesting insight into peoples need to justify their own drinking.. I had water in a wine glass and enjoyed sitting back and watching all the sillyness around me.

[kuya]

Attitude from others when you say you're quitting...

maddiemadison;1416772 wrote: It was a very interesting day, my friend didn't come over, she was busy, but my son had a birthday party that night and with lot's of mutual friends were present. Many seem insulted when I said I wasn't drinking with them and tried many different ways to change my mind.. it was a good test and an interesting insight into peoples need to justify their own drinking.. I had water in a wine glass and enjoyed sitting back and watching all the sillyness around me.

Isn't it revealing when others are disturbed by your sobriety....... They have a problem eh?

Can you imagine forcing a cheese sandwich on someone? People would say you were nuts! But alcohol......

Well done anyway.......doesn't it feel empowering?

I love parties sober .....so entertaining till folks get boring

[Balboa45]

Attitude from others when you say you're quitting...

Seems like you quit any other drug or smoking and you are a hero. Not so with AL, people think something is wrong with you. I got a lot out of Jason Vale's book "Quit the Drink Easily". Has a chapter devoted to this subject. I've gotten to the point where I just tell people "I'm not drinking tonight".

For those that know me that's all it takes.

Good Luck, B-45

[FloridaBoy]

Attitude from others when you say you're quitting...

JingleJo;1416065 wrote: Actually, now that I think about it, all those who had something negative to say are regular heavy drinkers, so you probably have a good point there. Maybe I hit a nerve or something lol :-)

You have to remember that alcohol is a legal and socially acceptable drug...that we are addicted to. Many people are not and will never understand that we are different.