Xmas Parties.

[gmc38609]

I ve got my first one at my new company coming up in a few weeks.
There summer do was a day at the races all drinks free and everybody got smashed including me it was a fantastic day.
Since then I have stopped drinking
There Xmas party is a 007 Casino night with everyone dressing up free booze etc.
I think you even get greeted with a Martini so how do I get out of this not drinking alcohol.
Cant say I am driving as I live around the corner
Just tell the truth perhaps but that I can see having complications !!
Strange thing is I know I will have a better night not drinking" certainly will have more chance of winning money " but when your under the spell of alcohol people just cant see that, me myself included until I broke the spell :O)
Any ideas peeps

[Struggles 106]

Xmas Parties.

Don't go

Either don't go, or if you are determined to NOT drink say "No thank you"

[Mick]

Xmas Parties.

why is it that everyone MUST go to these parties?..If you dont want to go..then I would say dont go..as for the drinking..the answer is no thanks..let them work out any reasons why if they have nothing better to do with there time

[Sunbeam]

Xmas Parties.

Eve 11 offers the suggestion, "not right now". You could add, I'm really thirsty, where can I find some water? I like the idea of telling people "my stomach is off". They might not push you on that. Staying home is the best idea, but sometimes that isn't good for business, your office relationships. Plan ahead and you can think through how to stick with your plan.

[IAD]

Xmas Parties.

Hay.....lay off the booze and go after the girls ! Ha! ( Of course that might cause you other problems ! ha!)

[kuya]

Xmas Parties.

I LOVE parties and even when fairly newly sober would find the lure attractive. I am a social creature.

BUT I never drank socially, was a home alone drinker, could party but HAD to get my fix later.

Anyway I am practiced at saying NO socially. When offered the drink at the door.....ask what it is, then wrinkle your nose in disdain and say 'no ta...... I'll get myself something else'

BUT be very, very, very sure this party will not blow your quit. It is too precious.

[Struggles 106]

Xmas Parties.

Hey GMC

I like your linr at the bottom that it's not to start than to stop. My sentiments exactly.

Sorry if my previous answer seemed curt. I didn't mean to sound that way.
I do know what you mean though. I don't know how long you have been sober but speaking for myself, I try to be careful.
I know myself well enough to know what I can handle. BUT in my case Antabuse is in the picture so my options are far more limited (a good thing)

I seem to be starting to get an attitude about people questioning why you don't drink.
As Jason Vale says in his book-Would anyoine say "Oh you're not shooting up tonight?" or "Oh you don't care for any cocaine this evening?" It's just ridiculous.
Not that I have written this it just occurred to me that there WAS a time in my life when I would have been questioned about not doing coke...but I digress.
It's juat a fact that the society we live in glamorizes drinking, and we have to accept it.
I have evolved to a place where I have no qualms about saying No I am not having a beer thanks.
To me the thing is being comfortable in your own skin-without alcohol to help us feel witty and clever and attractive.

I wish you well this holiday season

[moni]

Xmas Parties.

I'm avoiding my party this year. I do have an evening out this weekend but it's an early dinner with friends who know I'm not drinking. I may ask for an AF beer, haven't decided yet but I know I am definitely not breaking my pledge. I'm even bringing the car to ensure that.

[Mootsbill]

Xmas Parties.

I went to a party this weekend, I took a glass of wine hen left it lying around untouched, people around me got hammered and no one noticed I hadn't had a drink, till I said I was driving home! Then they all wanted lifts! ;9)

[kuya]

Xmas Parties.

Mootsbill;1418576 wrote: I went to a party this weekend, I took a glass of wine hen left it lying around untouched, people around me got hammered and no one noticed I hadn't had a drink, till I said I was driving home! Then they all wanted lifts! ;9)

Once people START drinking they don't even notice what you are doing.......which is exactly the problem with alcohol LOL

[Byrdlady]

Xmas Parties.

Yes, one tip...eat before you go. I know there will be lots of yummy food there, but this is war...don't let yourself get hungry. I take what I'm going to drink which is caffeine free diet coke. It gives me something to do and I don't need the caffeine...and like everyone said, once the evening is underway nobody gives a rip what's in your glass. The toughest part is walking in that door and the first person that comes up and asks you if you'd like something. Have your excuse READY to use. Do not hesitate one second in using it either, a moment's hesitating will give that hostess or coworker an IN. They can smell a chink in the armor.

It takes a little while to be able to see it, but once you're out from under AL's spell it ain't all it cracked up to be. I don't know how to explain it, but I don't give a dam what other people think of my not drinking. This is my life and quit and I am protecting both with everything I've got! My quit is my most prized possession! Without that foundation the rest crumbles down. I tested the theory...it's solid. B

[Alcoholic]

Xmas Parties.

Saying "no thank you" or "not right now" and quickly change subjects so they won't pressure you. Like, "no thank you. I LOVE your dress! Where did you get it? "".

[Supercrew]

Xmas Parties.

For what it's worth I went to my 1st party about 2 weeks after quit drinking. I had a million excuses ready because everyone knew me as a big drinker. Health issues, driving, had to get up early the next day.... But for some reason I just started with a "no thanks", and I had a diet coke in my hand. As the evening wore on I kept getting asked, and finally said, "I'm making some changes in my life regarding my health, so I have started a workout program and a new diet, and alcohol isn't in the diet". After that I had a person bringing me diet cokes the rest of the night, end of story.

Since then, over the last 2 years, I have been to drinking functions a couple of times every month, and now I just say no thanks, and the people who I hang with don't even ask anymore. I have been to about 6 or 7 work functions in that time, and I had drank with the boss previously, and when he asked I just told him that I have given it up because I wanted to lead a healthier life. He said, "that's great to hear". And I drank my diet coke while he had his beer and it was just like normal, except I didn't do anything stupid and embarrass myself.

I have found that the only people who really ever push or start asking more questions about why I prefer sobriety is because they have a problem themselves. And believe it or not many of those people tell me that they wish they could do what I did.

Now don't get me wrong, prior to me giving up drinking the poison, this was the biggest excuse I had about why I couldn't quit. "How am I going to live my life? How am I going to go to parties" , my life was built on drinking, and I was the first one at the bar and the last one there every party I attended for 20+ years. But I learned that if I wanted to live a happy life sober I would have to be able to attend these events. I can't lock myself away from alcohol, because the reality is it's everywhere, and if I want it I can get it. So why should I shelter myself and be pissed and feel like I'm in a prison. I realized that I am not the one in the prison, I am free, the people who drink are prisoners/slaves to the poison. I go to parties regularly, and a normal topic of conversation is health and wellness, and I don't bash drinking, but I just let people know proudly that it wasn't a healthy decision for me, and I decided that I didn't need it anymore.

So here's the way it works, if you go to a party and decide before hand that you are going to be happy, and you are going to have fun, and you are not going to drink no matter what, you won't have a problem. But if you go in feeling like an outcast, and you are on the edge about just having one or two, and you focus on the alcohol, you will be miserable and you will probably drink and you would be better off staying home.

I was really sort of lucky, because my wife never drinks and never has....funny that she would marry my drunk ass, but anyways, when I realized that she has been to every party and gathering that I had for the past 20 years, and she always had a good time, and she never drank, and no one ever forced booze down her throat I realized the only reason why I used social settings as an excuse was because I still wanted to drink. I have since come to realize that I get what I focus on. If I focus on booze and drinking, I end up drunk, but if I focus on my health and my true happiness it's real easy to go out and stay happily sober.

[kuya]

Xmas Parties.

Thank you for that post Supercrew

It should be a sticky !

[Catbuddy]

Xmas Parties.

Wow, Supercrew. That was a fantastic post. I am going to use that Positive Attitude approach tomorrow night, where, as fate would have it, I do feel like an outcast. I'm going to turn that around and be happy in my surroundings.

Cat