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My Mother_IN_LAW

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    #1

    My Mother_IN_LAW

    Do any of you have issues with your Mother in law? Mine lives 7hr. drive away but can still get under my skin. I swear last year she went on vacation with Us and I drank stupidily heavy everyday. Let me explain what is currently going on. She is terrble with money. She went and took a refinace on her home took out the cash spent it on only God knows. Now claims she was the victim of predatory lending. Has not been making the payments,says she can't afford them. So now she is being forclosed upon. I am so afraid she & her husband will end up living with us. My husband is successfull and the only son. We have given her money over and over again. My husband finally said enough. She won't work and her husband is disabled. She is just so freanking negative if she has to come here, I'll drink heavily again I know it. She makes jabs at me constantly. She preceives that my husband spoils me and is jealous. She breaks into baby talk when talking to him. ARRRGHHH!!!! Husband says No way she will live with us. I can't see how she can't. I know that in the Bible it is a commandment to take care of you parents. Please don't tell me to talk to her; she gets puffy and offended and nothing changes. I have tried a lot with this woman. I mean this woman sent her dessert back at a Friday's restaurant because it didn't look like the picture. Just one level of her ridicilousness. plus both he & she are each 3 pack a day smokers and I am highly allergic to smoke. Vacation took me a month and a course of antibiotics to get over smoke exposure. Am I a whiner? It is my husband's family. i feel guilty;he loves my Mom he is always asking her when is she coming to stay with us. My Mom isn't demanding though. Any Thoughts?
    Thanks for letting me vent
    M
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    #2
    My Mother_IN_LAW

    Oh Simey, that just sounds dreadful and made me appreciate my MIL all the more. I think you are completely justified in your feelings. Ugh, I hope they do not have to come live with you. The smoking would kill me too.
    I'm really easy to get along with once people learn to worship me

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      #3
      My Mother_IN_LAW

      Oh no Simey-
      I am scared for you. My ex and I have had some of our worst fights over his his mom. Hopefully your husband will hold his ground. That would be the best thing.
      I wouldnt tell you to talk to her, God knows that never worked for me. Only made it worse.
      I cant wait to hear others advise as I suck in this catagory. Sorry I am not more positive.

      Good Luck!
      Gabby :flower:

      Comment

        #4
        My Mother_IN_LAW

        Simeybear, I don't think you are a whiner at all. You have both mental and physical reasons for not wanting her to live with you and I completely understand.

        At least you and your husband are on the same page on this - that makes a huge difference. I hope it all works out for you, but remember that it is your house, and if it comes to them living with you - you make the rules.

        Best of luck!
        Sobriety Date: June 15, 2007 -- "It's not having what you want, It's wanting what you've got...."

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          #5
          My Mother_IN_LAW

          Oh wow............Yuck...

          I think there are people who can help advise and help them on how to handle their debt.
          I will do a search for some. I think Crown Financial is one.
          Be supportive of your hubby but let him do the talking to her.

          :l Nancy
          "Be still and know that I am God"

          Psalm 46:10

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            #6
            My Mother_IN_LAW

            Thanks Lush Gabby &AA, I appreciate you taking the time to post. This is going to be so hard. We will have to finsh out our basement or build a small guest house out back. Her husband is in a wheel chair and our house is 2 story(all bedrooms upstairs)We have thought about buying her hose and giving her a lower payment; it's not a good investment. It's in an bad area of Toledo. I appreciate your imput.
            M

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              #7
              My Mother_IN_LAW

              Here is a good site for info for anybody. www.daveramsey.com/the_truth_about/debt_3036.html.cfm - Similar pages
              "Be still and know that I am God"

              Psalm 46:10

              Comment

                #8
                My Mother_IN_LAW

                Thank you to Nancy, I just know when and if she looses this house it is going to be HELL. It is her husband's family home. My Husband is his step son just to clear up matters. they argue all the time the way it is and are verbally cruel to each other. He stays out of his mind on tylenol 4's (used to be a herion addict) and the fights are tremendous. Plus on another note he tries to hit on me. ICKY!!!

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                  #9
                  My Mother_IN_LAW

                  www.smartmoney.com/debt/ - Similar pages

                  M.... no way!
                  There are some ways to help them without having to move them in...
                  Don't consider it an option.
                  xoxoNancy
                  "Be still and know that I am God"

                  Psalm 46:10

                  Comment

                    #10
                    My Mother_IN_LAW

                    Your health and mental stability will go straight down the toilet if she moves in with you. You'd be better off helping them rent an apartment. They should be able to pay some rent. Have your husband explain that living together is not an option, however, you would like to help them make an arrangement that is suitable for all. AND it isn't just her, but a husband comes with her. You need your space and they need theirs. Let your hubbby do the talking....it is his mother. I hope it works out for you!!!!

                    Comment

                      #11
                      My Mother_IN_LAW

                      OMG, he hits on you....sick ol' pervert. That is ICKY!!!! I am stressed for you!!!! Hang in!!!

                      Comment

                        #12
                        My Mother_IN_LAW

                        Tried, I know this isn't the chat room, but I'll tell you something else he does He is a religous zealot. He hit's on me then tell me the next day God told him it was wrong. but then does it again. And "God" always has a word for me via him for delivery. But I can walk away from him. she I can't she follows
                        m

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                          #13
                          My Mother_IN_LAW

                          He doesn't sound like a true believer.

                          xoxoNancy
                          "Be still and know that I am God"

                          Psalm 46:10

                          Comment

                            #14
                            My Mother_IN_LAW

                            What he sounds like is a nut-job....

                            This just keeps getting worse and worse! For your sanity, there's no way you can let them live with you - there has to be another option....
                            Sobriety Date: June 15, 2007 -- "It's not having what you want, It's wanting what you've got...."

                            Comment

                              #15
                              My Mother_IN_LAW

                              WOW....I'm not sure i can be of much help...My In-laws have been living with us 2 years (seems going on 100)...When that first happen my drinking intake... jumped, excellerated, surged, compounded,advanced, rocketed, oh sorry...well to the point I had to do something to stop myself and found MWO...thank God...although yesterday I almost slipped.
                              It's not that they are bad people at all, It's I've lost any space of my own...and ...well I better leave it at that...It's just not easy...
                              Part of the reason is financial, similar to your case and the health related due to the fact the mother-in law- could not handle taking care of her husband...

                              Well...I'll pray for you....
                              Control the Mind

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