Anyone here who has no contact with children ??

[dixon]

Hi,

I am now fully devastated to know that I wouldn't get contact with my children until they get 18 and if they wish to see me .They are under foster care now.I had a dream to give them a very good education but in vain .

I wanted to know how I made them so hurt because I don't know how I behaved them when I was at black out with alcohol.Social worker is also not interested to disclose anything and just says they are doing well and recovering from the trauma of incident.
Can I go and ask police about the incident report they received from neighbors, my wife and kids ??
I really want to know in details what I had done so that it would be easier to convince myself my kids and wife in future.
If I don't know the fact it would be mysterious forever.How can I forget or know the mystery behind it ??
It would be a unsolved problem forever !!!!

Any suggestion here ??
Thanks
Dix

[NoraC]

Anyone here who has no contact with children ??

Dixon - I have missed you. :l I am so sorry about your children. Have you written them a letter? Explaining how you feel - how you have changed. Is there somewhere that you can mail it so that a friend could deliver it to the children? Since your wife is not working with you, she might not give them the letter.
I am not sure what police incident you are talking about. Did something happen recently? I don't understand why your kids are in foster care.
Thinking of you. I wish that I had answers for you. :l

[CanToo]

Anyone here who has no contact with children ??

Hi Dixon,

You could ask a social worker or therapist to go with you for the police reports. It would help in your healing also to fill in the missing links. I would't think they'd say no....

CT

[dixon]

Anyone here who has no contact with children ??

Hi NoraC,
Its nice to see you here.Recently,I knew that my kids are not under the children protection plan and they are under someone,s care since my wife does not have income to support them enough !!
I have sent a couple of letters to them through social worker but they don't want anymore.So social worker is not ready to give my letter to them.
I don't want to go to the court as it would be worthless until they accept me.
But now, I am thinking to use solicitors to send my progress and wish to see them so that it would be more trustier rather than trying myself.
Should I take legal procedure ??
I am too busy to fix myself and with works.I have to earn myself until I get citizenship.I was not thinking to take citizenship and get social benefits.Its because my birth country do not have provision for dual citizenship.
So they are not entitle for public funds.
No idea what to do ??
Any more advice here please .
Dix

[RingingCedars]

Anyone here who has no contact with children ??

Hi Dix...it's difficult to understand the full scope of what has happened and why due to some language and cultural barriers on top of you not seeming to know what claims have been made against you.

I do know the pain of separation from my 3 children albeit for different reasons but the pain of separation was/is devastating.

Here's an organization that may help you find someone/group in your area to assist you.
Our Mission, Vision, and Core Principles ? Fathers & Families

I wish you peace and strength.

[dixon]

Anyone here who has no contact with children ??

RC,
Yes it has so many factors behind it.Though I am here as an alcoholic,I am more responsible to the society and family.I did a couple of times black out but still people believee I will do something.Regarding my family life my wife is here as a dependent visa so how much she can blame me
She will feel secure with visa.for me I had a good income back to my country and goodwill as well cause I am a social person.
Dix

[dixon]

Anyone here who has no contact with children ??

Hi all,
I am going to see my new social worker so confused how should I present myself to her to achieve my goal ??
I just want too see my kids frequently and I can't do that without their wish as they have already grown up of 11 and 15 yers.
I must address their post incident traumas not to harm their future any more .
Any ideas and suggestion here please .
Dix

[dixon]

Anyone here who has no contact with children ??

Hi Dears,
Finally visited Social Worker and she insisted that they can't force or try to create an environment that supresses their will.I asked her to put our marital relationship a side and think about kids , she simply said it couldn't be like that way until my kids turned into their legal age of 18/feel unsafe with her and safe with me or be ready to do so.
Now, I would not get any access to be in touch with school or other professionals because my wife does not want to do so.
I asked her you could try to convince/give some examples of my involvement in their career planning ,she totally rejected my idea for any kinds of influences/suggestion/information that is related to my behavioural change until my wife agree to receive them.
So she gave me a signal that I can go to court or take a help of family solicitors to write my claim to legal department of social services.

[Andrew_CN]

Anyone here who has no contact with children ??

Dixon, I have no advice to provide...however, I feel for your situation and understand some of your emotions.

I am 8000 km away from my 10 year old daughter, my ex has cut off all access to me, there is no recourse for me BUT - I am praying that I can find a way to see her for christmas, even if is only for a few hours. Where I live there are no such things as social services etc, so I pray that you will be able to use the resources available to you. Use them. Do not give up. AL destroyed me and my family and I have to accept that - but I still have hope.

I hope that you can find a way to reconnect with your children - it is hard, I know indeed, but don't let AL get in the way of connecting with your children - we are (deep down inside) stronger than the bottle