Reframing

[amethyst]

Last year when I was AF for 3 months, I did it using the tools learned from Rational Recovery. The self talk went along the lines of * I will never drink again, and I will never change my mind*, said over and over, like a mantra of sorts. I said it walking by the wine displays in the grocery, and all during the day. But what I am learning more and more, is that what you focus on, is what you get. And even if you don't want something, by focusing on *it*, and the not wanting of* it*, *it* is what you get. So by my focusing so many times a day on NOT drinking, I was still focusing on drinking. Does that make any sense? (I have not tried the hypno cd's yet-I need to know how the suggestions are framed. Are they I will nots, or I am healthy positive type statements? )Any thoughts on creating a postive and better directed statement? I keep trying, but tripping up on what I DON'T want still. What I want is to be strong, healthy, smart, and sober. Is that enough to say?

I am working on taking the supps more consistently. And focusing on the ones I really need, rather than a whole kitchen sink approach. Actually, I think the more is better mind set effects me in all areas of my life-not just alcohol. I have more than the average 2 kids, WAY more dogs and cats, I tend to over indulge in popcorn ,and chips and salsa as much as I do wine. My extra 20 pounds isn't all wine I am beginning to think that the physical is only a small part of the whole picture. It is the why did I drink in the first place, what was I trying to replace, or what feeling was I trying to numb , blunt, or erase? Who am I without the glass in my hand, and how do I feel ?

I have for the past 2 weeks been AF every other night, trying to wean down, I will soon start stringing 2 AF's together. IS that resonable, or is every other night enough of a wean down to be able to function during the day going completely AF?
So, enough ponderings , on with the daily. Enjoy your day!

[lushy]

Reframing

Yes, I agree with you that focusing on not drinking is what makes the not drinking so difficult. I just started the CDs over a week ago and I am shocked at how my first thought in the morning is no longer, "do I have enough wine for tonight in the fridge?" and I am not looking at the clock wondering when the "right" time to pour a glass would be and in fact am getting many AF days in. It has been very freeing for me. If I recall from the literature that came with the CDs the suggestions are in a positive frame, not a bunch of "will not" thoughts. I agree with your approach: to focus on what we do want, where we do want to be, what kind of person we want to be. Not someone that spends their whole time saying I will nots.

I think doing AF every other day is a great thing to do. Over a month that would mean 1/2of your month was spent not drinking, over a year that would mean 1/2 of your year was spent without alcohol. That is a pretty great thing. There is no right or wrong; just do whatever gets you closer to your desired goal.

[Guest]

Reframing

I agree with Mrs. Cleaver,whatever it takes to get you where you want to be. one half a month sober is good. Find your own pace. One thing I find that keeps me from drinking when the time isn't right. (I'm a 2 spritzer a night moderator) I think about a really humiliating or embarrassing thing I've done while drunk. I can leave it alone then for fear of a repeat. I know that this technique isn't for everyone but it works for me.
smiles
m

[ScoobyDoo]

Reframing

Amethyst... absolutely positively agree with what you're saying on both points.

I am more focused on alcohol at the moment (but would prefer to be focused on it with a clear head) than ever before. I am thinking of it as a 'clearing' process, while I work towards the 'restored' me. I'm thinking that the over focus will settle down eventually, but for now, is necessary to set me on the right path.

My fiance must be getting really tired of hearing me rattle on about AF. lol. Oh and last night I had a dream that I caved in and had a drink, and felt really disappointed in myself... not a great dream, but a sturdy reminder of where I'm at right now.

Re the CD's They are definitely not in line with your past experience. There is very little mentioned in terms of alcohol consumption. When it is raised, it is mentioned in positive terms. I think it would do my head in, if I had to do a mantra like what you experienced in the past. Eeeck!

Doo

[YoungAtHeart]

Reframing

Sorry, but this isn't coming out the way I wanted it to. Anyway, I think the messages on both the abs and moderation cds are very positive and future oriented--not deprivation oriented. I think that you will enjoy them.

[ScoobyDoo]

Reframing

After I posted my msg, I dashed out to the shops and recalled the messages specific to alcohol, and remembered, that they are anything but negative. All very subtle and positive.

In my opinion, they are worth the investment.

[amethyst]

Reframing

Thanks y'all. It looks like I should give the cd's a try! Doo, anything that helps you walk past the displays in the shops has to be good!