How do you forgive yourself?

[dove]

How do you forgive yourself?

Thank you all for your kind thoughts and words. I know full well that time makes the wounds and regret less however, I also know that at some point in the future I will repeat it all and feel the same awful way and remember every other awful time at that point. I have accomplished so much in my life. I am almost to the top of where I can go in my career so accomplishing more work things won't help. I volunteer when I can and help others without receiving pay every day and consider that accomplishing something as well. I use drinking to get away from it all and just not think, not feel worried, not feel anxious...however, eventually, a ridiculous drunken blackout night comes along in the midst of it all and just makes it worse. Stop drinking forever? Really? So for the rest of my life I have to deal with this 'affliction' that affects me? Sometimes I say - whatever! who cares if I don't drink - no one really cares and people will peer pressure me but who cares they can fuck off if I don't want to drink!!!! The problem is I DO WANT TO DRINK!!!

So here is the next question. How do I stop the WANT to drink? Time away from drinking doesn't seem to matter because no matter what the want is still there....

[pixie]

How do you forgive yourself?

Hi Dove and welcome back. Like you I was around MWO a few years back, then I disappeared and re-appeared over the years as I tried to get my drinking under control.

The wanting to drink is the tough part for sure. Many people here mention 'deprivation vs. gratitude' thinking; so how do you get to the point where you are grateful to be a non-drinker?

I think it's different for everyone. For me, I just got tired of the merry-go-round. I started picturing myself 10, 15 years from now with the same drinking habit and where I would be, and it scared me. And I realized that I was using drinking as an excuse for dealing with crap (or not dealing with it), and it was up to me to fix my life if it was broken. No more excuses.

Have you read the Allan Carr or Jason Vale books? They help with the gratitude thinking. I also highly recommend kudzu and l-glutamine - cost-wise they are not too bad (and less than what you would spend on booze), and really help in the beginning.

I was just going to give myself a short break from AL in June when I went AF, but I kept going. I didn't have the "I want it" attitude when I started, but my perspective gradually changed.

Good luck!

[mario]

How do you forgive yourself?

You need to enjoy your recovery from alcohol dependence. When you decide to quit drinking forever, one of the first difficulties you will face is simply dealing with the day-to-day reality without alcohol. If you sit at home with nothing to do, your booze brain will pester you for a drink and it will be very difficult to make it stop because your human brain is idle. This is why you will need to develop something to occupy your human brain. Find (or rediscover) hobbies that give you something to show for your time. Get in shape, fix up an old car, or start a new relationship. Learn to cook, play an instrument, decorate, or go out with (sober) friends. Write helpful articles here. Set aside the money you used to spend on drinking and watch your piggy bank grow. Celebrate every sober anniversary whether it’s a week or a decade: things are going to keep getting better from here on out. Don't be afraid that you’ll slip or relapse: that fear is the booze brain at work trying to give you an excuse to give up.

Eventually, the CORE process becomes automatic, meaning you won't have to make a big effort to stay sober. You may feel bad, angry, sad, or depressed at times, but that's normal. If the booze brain tries to use these feelings as excuses to drink, you’ll know what it’s up to and how to deal with it. You’re better, smarter, funnier, wittier, and even taller when you stand up to your booze brain!

Have a read of this it may help https://www.mywayout.org/community/f4...ery-44358.html