Army Thread 22/12/12

[JackieClaire]

Army Thread 22/12/12

Don't think I've sent Mr JC one since we were courting.

He gets to wake up to the voluptuous being that is moi on Christmas morning. That should be enough.

[Quest for the key]

Army Thread 22/12/12

JackieClaire;1430855 wrote: Don't think I've sent Mr JC one since we were courting.

He gets to wake up to the voluptuous being that is moi on Christmas morning. That should be enough.

:H:H:H:H

[JackieClaire]

Army Thread 22/12/12

Better go and feed him and meself. Blooming starving.

[RunningCourage]

Army Thread 22/12/12

Today, my brother just bought, on behalf of me and him, a ?70 bottle of whisky for father... I was offered a sampler... I declined. Had to get out of there pronto cos everything about being in a cosy wine and whisky shop (you know the ones, where there's special wines and whiskys for hunerds of pounds, and lovingly hand written price tags and descriptions) shouted "THIS IS YOU, YOU APPRECIATE GOOD WINE AND WHISKY, EVERYTHING HERE SPEAKS OF YOU AND TO YOU...((((EMBRACE ME)))) "

It did.

Very well.

But hey, it's bought, it's for pops and not me. End of. Period. Moving on.

Now, back to proper business - how are we all doing? Bit of argy bargy in the houses? We've got that here - all 4 family members back in the nest... Laughter and frustration in equal doses.

[Mick]

Army Thread 22/12/12

Just thought I would post these for the Oirish contingent.........:H

A bloke at a horse race whispers to Paddy, "Do you want the winner of the next race?"
Paddy replies "No tanks, I've only got a small garden."

Paddy and Mick found 3 hand grenades and decided to take them to the police station.
Mick "What if one explodes before we get there?"
Paddy: "We'll lie and say we only found two!"

A coach load of paddys on a mystery tour decided to run a sweepstake to guess where they were going. ... The driver won ?52!

Paddy's racing snail was not winning races anymore. So he decided to take it's shell off to reduce it's weight and make him more aerodynamic. It didn't work, if anything it made him more sluggish.

Paddy finds a sandwich with two wires sticking out of it. He phones the police and says "Bejaysus I've just found a sandwich dat looks like a bomb."
The operator asks, "is it tickin?? Paddy says "No, I tink it's beef"

Joe says to Paddy: "Close your curtains the next time you're making love to your wife. The whole street was watching and laughing at you yesterday."
Paddy says: "Well the joke's on them stupid, because I wasn't even at home yesterday."

Mick walks into Paddy's barn and catches him dancing naked in front of a tractor. Mick says, "Bejaysus, Paddy, what ya doing?"
paddy says, "Well me and Mary haven't been getting on in the bedroom lately and the therapist recommended I do something sexy to a tractor."

The Irish have solved their fuel problems. They imported 50 million tons of sand from the Arabs and they're going to drill for their own oil.

Paddy says to Mick ?I'm ready for a holiday, only this year I'm going to do it a bit different. 3 years ago I went to Spain and Mary got pregnant. 2 years ago I went to Italy and Mary got pregnant. Last year I went to Majorca and Mary got pregnant."
Mick asks, ?So what are you going to do this year?"
Paddy replies, ?I'll take her with me!"

Paddy says to Mick, "Christmas is on a Friday this year."
Mick says "Let's hope it's not the 13th."

Paddy's in the bathroom and Murphy shouts to him. "Did you find the shampoo?"
Paddy says, "Yes but it's for dry hair and I've just wet mine."

Christmas has started in our gaff....got to go n buy another box of choccy biscuits!!!