My MYO experience

[RingingCedars]

My MYO experience

Hi Raven, you seem to have deleted your original post, so I can only reply on the snippet I can see, obviously. You know that I really recommend some counseling for your situation and I'm so glad to hear you are going for some. Don't forget that the first counselor you see may not be the right one either. You are 100% allowed to find the one that you feel understands the situation, of course not to avoid your own due diligence.

When I first came to MWO I also had to find a different support group for the emotional struggles I was immersed in. I couldn't have gotten out of the black hole of alcohol abuse if I didn't find the appropriate venue of folks who had first hand experience with the same situation I was in.

Perhaps checking in here for support as well as finding the the right other support would be an option too?? That is what I did in the end and I'm so glad I didn't just leave here for not getting understanding and support for something this forum was not intended or equipped to give.

So I hope to see you soon as you came here for a reason and you can still get support for that. As for giving support, that will happen even when you don't realize it.:l

ps I say MYO all the time too and I know of others that do as well. No biggie!

[Raven2012]

My MYO experience

Hi Friends,

I probably shouldn't have deleted the origional post. I was getting some negative response, which was completely appropriate given the unnapriciative nature of my post. It was something along the lines of relating my experience and that some of the help from sr members was really amazing and I wished the support from the sr members had continued a bit further. My intent was to step away for about a month I felt the whole group was fantastic and I would be back in about a month. I don't think it was the least bit rude but I can see that someone might see it as unnapreciative.

In hindsight, I think the reason I stated that was because the first month I was here, I was successful in my mission to be AF and I gave credit to the sr members for that, as I faltered, I just wallowed in my depression. Later, I see its really all in my own hands. I've seen this with other members. Sometimes, there are cases where an online forum is perfectly appropriate to help people. In other cases, you can only stretch your online friends so far and then you exhaust them.

To my online friends, Sunshine, Slay, Play, Ringing, Polly, Catbuddy you all been true friends and have encouraged me to seek help. And I think sometimes it takes that courage to say, hey, I need to step out here and take care of things and quit blaming people if I fail (which I feel I did a bit in my origional post)

At first I'd hoped the thing would just fade away and slip to the second page. It almost did. But when it didn't, I felt compelled to come back and make things right. So that's what I'm trying to do now.

Again, I'm sorry. I don't know what else to say. Your great, nicest group of folks ever. When I get it together, I'll be back.

[Slaythefear]

My MYO experience

Raven, don't fret over it too much. I've learned to expect a certain amount of sensitivity here. This is all part of the process of healing and getting AF, but it's commendable that you reach for peace. I have issued a few posts I have regretted as well. I later, just as you are, realized my sensitivity. We have needs and sometimes we may expect a bit more than some can give because of our own pain and desperation at the time. None of this is easy.

I can empathize with your situation. Don't feel like you have to stop posting now or reaching out. We all have weaknesses. That's why we are here.

Love,

Slay:l

[paulywogg]

My MYO experience

hi raven,i love coming to this site,its all i have for support in this madness however i dont feel like i fit in much here,maybe on the weight losers thread,i feel pretty looked over mostly i wish there was a thread for people who are struggling and new to just talk to each other,nn just doesnt do it for me,everyone knows each other on all the other threads,i want to leave too but ive got nowhere to go plus most people here are wonderful and very helpful,and i do have a life outside of mwo,but in my world nobody knows im so bad,if i talk about drinking they see me as some chick with a glass of wine,theyd never guess i can drink more beer than a man,and still walk a straight line.anyways ill be waiting for you to come back,ill still be here

[Byrdlady]

My MYO experience

Pauly, as I just suggested to Raven, if you want NN to be a better place, your participation could help do that. We can't read minds over there..... everyone helps each other...old AND new.
It is rather insulting to those of us who spend HOURS trying to help people here....for folks to say, 'oh, I'll stay because there's no place else any better'. NN has helped hundreds of people get AL out of their lives....and I am one of them. There are others here who spend countless hours of their time trying to help, but we can't fix everyone. An online forum may not be of the intensity you need to quit. Remember, this does not replace addiction help if that's what you require. There is help here, but you have to be ready for it....no one can do it for you. B

[RingingCedars]

My MYO experience

Byrdlady;1432645 wrote: but we can't fix everyone.

Perhaps that attitude is part of the problem. I didn't realize it was a place to "fix" people. Perhaps, therein lies a problem. If a newbie isn't the "model" workable subject they feel they don't fit in. Please don't give me that shit about helping, cuz I was told years ago not to post there and I've obeyed. Sometimes helping means helping people see things in a different light and not dig there heals in maintaining the status quo.

I have no doubt that the newbie's nest has helped countless MWO members and I commend you for that. Not looking for a fight.

[Byrdlady]

My MYO experience

Ringing... the only thing (and it should be common sense but apparently it isn't) is that it is requested that people who are moderating NOT post there. We try and get those 30 days in there, and if that isn't the goal then you are right, it's not for you. Otherwise, all are welcome.

I also respectfully disagree with your evaluation of an online site...I came here with a problem I needed help with, and I found it. But it is not for everyone....B

[RingingCedars]

My MYO experience

I'm sorry you're feeling you have not found your place here yet Paully. You are certainly not the only one. I'm glad you realize the benefit of posting just the same. Wise girl. Your name and avatar is cute as a button. I had to laugh when I read your comment about drinking more beer than a man. Just don't seem right. See you on the boards! Ok? Ok!

[RingingCedars]

My MYO experience

Byrdlady;1432654 wrote: Ringing... the only thing (and it should be common sense but apparently it isn't) is that it is requested that people who are moderating NOT post there. We try and get those 30 days in there, and if that isn't the goal then you are right, it's not for you. Otherwise, all are welcome.

I also respectfully disagree with your evaluation of an online site...I came here with a problem I needed help with, and I found it. But it is not for everyone....B

I can understand the first comment. Are you saying I have no common sense?

Which evaluation of an online site are you referring to please?

[Byrdlady]

My MYO experience

You are twisting my words....I am saying that the only time I have ever known someone to be asked to refrain from posting in the NN is when they have been talking about drinking in moderation while there. NOT what his/her plans were....NOT anything else....I am NOT saying that that's why you were asked to leave, I didn't know you were....but I haven't known anyone else turned away, EXCEPT when they spoke about actively drinking when everyone else is trying to get his/her 30 days in. It derails other people when others speak of drinking like that....THAT is what should be common sense.

About the rest of it, read what you want into my words...I was saying that some people need more than an online site can offer. Period. B

[Raven2012]

My MYO experience

Hi Byrdlady

Thank you for taking the time to care about me and read my post. Sincerely, you were never part of my thought process or problem. This has nothing to do with you or the NN. I've never been a part of that. I found it hard to navigate. I did make the 30 days (no NN) Each of us has our own way of making the journey. Please friends, I will be back, stronger than ever, thank you, the help has been amazing. Much love. Raven