2013-LET'S DO THIS!

[NoraC]

2013-LET'S DO THIS!

Did I ever say what happened to the rat?????? I don't remember if I posted it.

[patrice]

2013-LET'S DO THIS!

Hi Kradle

Just to say I'm thinking of you...

Take care
Patrice

[Frequent Traveler]

2013-LET'S DO THIS!

Reading the support given here makes me so proud.

FT

[Struggles 106]

2013-LET'S DO THIS!

Interesting news

I mentioned that I hae this meeting thing to go to. I found out today that the first day we have to go to a local Marriott and even the locals like mme cannot drive over there.
We all have to meet and ride a BUS together, and are being forced to stay there for "drinks and dinner".
This really makes me angry, a little. I will be fine but I think it's a bit much to insist that you put yourself in the middle of that.
BUT antabuse to the rescue! All will be well. But I'll bet noone will get drunk like I used to HAHA. THought there are some big drinkers they seem to manage to not look too foolish in business/social settings.

Day 14 of the new year! We are rollin' ! I hope everyone has a good week.

ALSO saw the thing about an MWO band. I want in!

[Kradle123]

2013-LET'S DO THIS!

OMG Ann! It's almost like desegregation: now they are BUSING us to the bars!

Slightly better day today . Had a good talk with my son though he continues to add sordid details about this woman....still I got a chance to speak to another gal- she worked for Amy (the evil one :helpme: ) for ove. Year and she too was pervervially screwed by her. She Mae me feel much better and certainly less alone.

As Matt and I talked I asked him about why he wrote such insulting awful things about me. Why he so readily violated our family's privacy and respect. He looked very pained at the question but I think he was sincere in telling me that he used to think I was just a complete opposite to him. That we were completely wrong for each other and I was just to nutty...I asked him if the drinking played a part and he said it did play a part in that he saw it as his get out of jail free card to engage I whatever crappy behavior he felt like....

I asked him why he continued to "engage in all the crappy behavior" even after I stopped drinking over 2 years ago ....now I know some of you are eyebrows up but let me Splain'
I have not had a drink in front of my kids or husband in almost three years.

When I openly drank things could get heated, weird, aggressive...you all know the drill.
But when I simply stopped 1. Drinking like there was no tomorrow and 2. Kept myself mostly to myself....well it wasn't perfect but the drama was removed for the most part and oddly enough switching to rum and ditching the wine(cheap wine at that I'm sorry to say) made a difference- made me just mellow, hi how are you type thing....can't explain that.

But the bottom line is the kids really have no idea- and I know everyone says yes they do....but, well, I don't think they do...or did. At least that's what Matt said.

Because he admitted to me that as I didn't drink anymore and life was good he really couldn't use that as an excuse to be so awful, so Marlon Brando if you will....he went on and on about how he sort of wished I still drank so he could use this as an excuse and he could justify being so easily manipulated by Amy... The evil one...:helpme: I know he is completely ashamed and very angry...I know how he feels!


So I am confused to say the least. I'm tired but I'm also sober....okay I need to sign off as the girls are hanging on me

Thanks for all you support:h

[Change]

2013-LET'S DO THIS!

Well, here we are, around 7 days sober and i am starting to believe i could perhaps do this for the whole of 2013.

The difficult parts will be:

An upcoming festival i might be attending with a heavy drinking friend. I am seriously considering whether to go or not.

I social group i am part of that like partying, although i reckon i could avoid the pitfalls there.

That time of the month if you get my drift!

I hope everyone is doing well!

Change

[Struggles 106]

2013-LET'S DO THIS!

KRADLE AND CHANGE

Segregation Kradle-I love it! Bus people to the bars! SO funny.
Also it seems like you had a productive conversation with Matt, with him recognizing the catalyst behing his behavior. Seems like progress!

Change-you can do it! Aren't you feeling better after a week? It just gets better and better!

[Frequent Traveler]

2013-LET'S DO THIS!

Good morning all, loving 2013 so far.

FT

[Struggles 106]

2013-LET'S DO THIS!

PERSONAL POWER-REALIZATION

A bit of an epiphany this morning. I dressed up a bit more than usual for work this morning, and came in early. Some people came to me with questions about technical stuff and we had a discussion.
It occurred to me that I have power-the power to be the best I can be. I have allowed alcohol to rob me of my power! Somehow I never thought of it this way.
I have the ability to have a good productive life, and I was giving that away!
I don't have to be hung over, semi-conscious, and defensive.
This really hit home for me this morning and I am glad it did.

[FlyAway]

2013-LET'S DO THIS!

Kradle that sounds like it was a great conversation. I'm so happy to hear that Matt is starting to see the other side of things. Sounds like you're all making steps in the right direction. :l

[NoraC]

2013-LET'S DO THIS!

Hello everyone. Day 16 here. Feeling sort of blah. No reason. Thinking too much in the future instead of sticking one day at a time. So, I went & bought myself some new stickers for my calendar. I'm all set!

[Kradle123]

2013-LET'S DO THIS!

Hi Everyone and Happy Teusday:

Patrice thank you for sending good htoughts. Can't tell you how much that helps

Ann the Marriot meeting must have been Okay as you had a great insight the next morning! I'm not there yet in the personal power relm but you got me thinking about how much power I have just relinquished or simply not picked up over the years.

It was a good conversation Fly and Ann but of course very hard to hear. He continues to be uber huggy and very...kid like. Not really certain what to do with him. I should call his counselor and get some advice.

The girls had there second session of dance and performance at the new studio this evening. God what a difference!!! I can already tell you that they are learning more in 2 sessions than in 2 weeks with The Evil One :devil:

Well, Im eating a lot these days mostly I think from the depression. I need to get my butt back to the gym. Ironically the woman who owns the gym I belong to is alsoa dance mom and we hang out now watching the classes. I have always liked her. She is funny and forthwright. She's also giving me some good ideas about working with Matt at the gym...

Im getting a bit worried that I may be slipping into some sort 'i may not be drinking but I'm not growing or doing anything productive.' I am still so full of rregret for the past especially since I seem to be incurring NEW regrets...Sober for heavens sake

I'm reading a lot here. The PAWS thread is super helpful.

Change what an awesome Job on seven Days!! Can't advice on the festival except sometimes it's valueable to see other poeple's drinking behavior.
Do you have your stickers?

Nora I am on pag 35 of your Journey. I am so grateful you documented your days and your challenges. Especially with Casey. I'm not skipping ahead so I don't know how his court case resolves. I feel I am taking your journey with you. Also I get to see Mama Bear and K9 almost from their beginning here. Almost like time traveling

Getting late here. I can add another sticker too Nora!

Hugs and heart to all.:l:h

[Struggles 106]

2013-LET'S DO THIS!

HEY FELLOW TRAVELERS

Day 16 of the new year. Still determined!

Lots of out of town people here. Lots of hanging out going on. Without me.
I'm happy to come home and relax and not be the one who is not in the office the next day, or in the office feeling horrible.

I'm feeling confident and proud of myself. Next week I'm not working and I plan to get a bunch of stuff done here at home. Really looking forward to it.

I hope everyone is having a great week so far.

[FlyAway]

2013-LET'S DO THIS!

Kradle--Funny how you're talking about reading Nora's journey. I started reading Guitarista's thread in the Newbie section today and read about the crazy lady and Matt and some of the history there. Wow! Now I understand a lot more of what is going on with you and Matt. I'm glad to hear that things are so good at the new studio. I'll have to check out the PAWS thread. :l

Ann--Way to go! You sound so determined.

[FlyAway]

2013-LET'S DO THIS!

Change;1444106 wrote: Well, here we are, around 7 days sober and i am starting to believe i could perhaps do this for the whole of 2013.

The difficult parts will be:

An upcoming festival i might be attending with a heavy drinking friend. I am seriously considering whether to go or not.

I social group i am part of that like partying, although i reckon i could avoid the pitfalls there.

That time of the month if you get my drift!

I hope everyone is doing well!

Change

How are you doing Change? Great job on your first week! :goodjob: