2013-LET'S DO THIS!

[FlyAway]

2013-LET'S DO THIS!

How are your girls doing Kradle? And how are things with your husband?

I know a couple who went through a great deal with their oldest daughter. Now a few years later they realize that their youngest daughter kind of got pushed to the side when it came to attention. They had to devote everything to their oldest. The youngest is now the only kid living at home and she's thriving finally with all of her parent's attention.

Are you and your husband still communicating? :l

[Struggles 106]

2013-LET'S DO THIS!

STILL SOBER

Good news! Yesterday I had to meet at the hotel near my office to discuss Vancouver plans with colleagues. Nice place with happy hour stuff in the lobby.
When I got there and sat down a colleague joined us and brought me a beer and sat it down in front of me.
I looked at it and laughed. They were like "What?" I just said "Nothing" and continued on. In the interest of making something good out of potential disaster I just thought that on the one hand it's sad (but understandable) that someone would assume I wanted it, but on the other hand it's WAY cool that I had NO desire for it.
This is not because of antabuse. It's because, right now, I don't identify with that person who would drink it and have more. Does not feel like me now.
I KNOW-I have said similar things before-but still-I take this as a good sign.
I want to be centered,competent and live in the moment without mind-numbing poison.

I see this as another victory and another step in the right direction. It just feels like I just cannot go there anymore. I do not want to; I am liking this me much better.

Happy Thursday!

[FlyAway]

2013-LET'S DO THIS!

Hooray Ann!

I was just thinking about reviving this thread this morning, but I didn't have much time.

I think your attitude toward being handed a beer is a great sign! I am definitely at that point where I don't identify with my former self. And you know what? Our "former selves" really wasn't us at all. It was our body and spirit being animated and controlled by drugs. It feels good to really be wholly me.

[Struggles 106]

2013-LET'S DO THIS!

YOU ARE RIGHT FLY!!!

Our former selves really were NOT us. Just a drunken facade, in my case, a lot of the time.
I am enjoying being present in my life and being able to concentrate and focus much more.

I really believe I can do this year! I really do. That's not to say that after that who knows what by any means. I just think the year milestone will be SO great that it will be another thing to keep me strong.

I watched some Canadian episodes of Intervention last night. Scary stuff. One was 2 women who lived together and got drunk every day. EVERY day. One had seizures because of it and one was just on the verge of liver failure, vomiting blood. It was terrible, but they went to rehab and got better. This kind of thing helps me in my journey.

SO...love and peace to all the womderful MWO-ers and 2013-ers!

[Struggles 106]

2013-LET'S DO THIS!

MARCH 6

Hello Twentythirteeners--

Approaching 3 months. All is well here.

Thought of something this morning. About decision-making.
It's really nice to be able to give rational thought to choices, to be able to weigh the pros and cons and make an informed decision about things.
As opposed to scrambled thinking from drinking, impulsive decisions that do more harm than good. And of course just add to the list of regrets that go along with drinking.

I'm not just talking about impulsive buying, though that is certainly a big part of it. But day to day decisions, about reactions. Choosing not to react in a knee jerk way when faced with weird agendas of other people. Picking your battles far more carefully.

It's so much easier to take a deep breath and decide whether a reaction is needed at all, before expending energy with anger and frustration over someone else's issues.

Yep-you gotta appreciate a more measured approach to life and it's ups and downs.
I was such an emotional wreck before that I was clearly nuts. LOL

AAhhh this is the good life I had envisioned. And I am hanging on tight!


Love to all

[Kradle123]

2013-LET'S DO THIS!

Oh Ann, I just love all your insight and encouragement :h

Even though 2013 has not been an entirely AF year I feel I can come here and get so much from everyone's struggle and success.

Regarding picking your battles, this is my daily struggle with my son....some I don't pick so well I admit but I am picking them free of the fog.

So glad you are doing so well!
:l

[Struggles 106]

2013-LET'S DO THIS!

HI KRADLE

Oh man picking battles with kids is a whole 'nother story. It's kind of like you never really know if you are doing the right thing. For a couple of years my daughter was so lost, and I am so happy that she is doing great.

When I wrote that I was thinking of work, since there is a bit of contention with a young guy who is relatively new and things he knows everything. I would be bothered by him and his shenanigans if I wasn't so sure of myself now, and centered and knowing that my job is not threatened. A couple of people are feeding his ego trip, inexplicably. I know that my best interest is served by simply observing this and smiling ever so kindly. Give 'em enough rope....

Have a great day

[Frequent Traveler]

2013-LET'S DO THIS!

For the first time in a long time I feel like I am developing control over myself, I know that the little guy will show up somewhere and tease me with "oh only one - what can it hurt crap" but I will be ready and fight him off.
Being AF & NF has not been easy but the way I feel breathing makes it all worth it, no more coughing or finding my shortness of breath decreasing and finding being able to take a deep breath with out pain in my lungs. Not waking up with a hangover, remembering what you did last night or yesterday "well for the post part anyway - LOL".
Well hope everyone has a great day.
FT

[FlyAway]

2013-LET'S DO THIS!

Ann and FT you are both doing such a great job! I felt like my life and my thinking and everything was on a dimmer switch and the further and further I got away from alcohol the brighter and clearer everything became. And it still is that way. I'm not sure when I'll reach maximum "brightness", but along the way several times I've thought, "this must be it" only to find out that things continued to get better. Clarity of thought, control, and inner peace are yours to be had.

[Struggles 106]

2013-LET'S DO THIS!

AND ANOTHER THING

I have also found that I don't need to have some madness going on all the time. Just being quiet and grounded is very nice. No need for going out and looking for something that is not there in the first place.

Getting to work early, no regrets, nothing at all to be ashamed of, embarassed about, nothing to lie about, nothing to hide or embellish.

Yep I'm likin' it. 90 days next Wednesday. I think I'll celebrate with a dessert.

[Frequent Traveler]

2013-LET'S DO THIS!

Good morning,
Ann I agree, I used to be the one that needed to help others, to always make sure that all about me were doing ok.... Finally realizing that I matter first and am placing myself there, has it caused some "friends" to become distant from me so be it as they were not that close anyway if this is the case.
I like being healthy and its growing on me.
FT

[NoraC]

2013-LET'S DO THIS!

Hey all....haven't stopped in for awhile but I'm here. :h

[FlyAway]

2013-LET'S DO THIS!

Good morning friends, we are all doing great!

Ann--wow, coming up on 90 days! It sounds like you are settling into sober life and enjoying the simple pleasures that come along the way. Everything that we've spent years looking for is right inside of us. :l

FT that saying about how you can only love someone else as much as you love yourself came to mind when reading your post. Treating ourself with the same amount of care and attention we give others isn't selfish, it's essential. And those friends who are now acting distant either weren't true friends to begin with or need time to adjust to your new way of being. I am amazed again and again along this journey to sobriety as to how much of this is a change of mindset and about coming fully into our own.

Nora you have had so much to deal with in this new year, yet you are doing so AF. This is what it's all about. Life doesn't magically get easy once the booze is gone; it keeps right on coming. But we learn how to deal with the emotions without our old crutch to help us along. You are doing so well and I'm sure you have been a big support to your mom and brother. Just keep taking the damn pill and keep putting one foot in front of the other. My prayers are with your family.:l

I love DST. I just wish they'd stop moving the clock around altogether. I'm trying to get adjusted to my new wake up time. Had to set the alarm where before the time change I'd just get up. I was sick the last couple days but I'm back to normal today and back to work in a little bit too. Enjoying a cup of coffee and snuggling with my cat before my workday starts. Have a great day friends.

[Struggles 106]

2013-LET'S DO THIS!

HEY FLY

You sound great today. What part of the US are you in?

[Frequent Traveler]

2013-LET'S DO THIS!

Good morning and thank you Fly, spot on and I am not jumping to Judgement and allowing all around me to adjust to the new me. The new me likes the idea of becoming healthy and clear headed, this website has been a major contribution to my well being and to that I thank you all.
Well off to do taxes... Yipeeee.
FT