Lushy's Learn to Be a Bitch Class

[Beaches]

Lushy's Learn to Be a Bitch Class

I've been reading alot and it appears to be paying off, thank you, thank you very much

[lushy]

Lushy's Learn to Be a Bitch Class

Oh, like you needed help? Don't play the innocent card here.

[Beaches]

Lushy's Learn to Be a Bitch Class

Huh??

[chrysa]

Lushy's Learn to Be a Bitch Class

Lushy,

I'm Irish too...so glad to meet ya...

"All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his."

Found this cool website for ya' . It is so good..We are more than the drink Lassie....

http://www.abitoblarney.com/irishsayings.htm

Too cool..we know who we are..we will be OK..right Lassie?? Right???
If you're the only one that knows you're afraid, you're brave.

The devil invented Scotch whiskey to make the Irish poor.

[chrysa]

Lushy's Learn to Be a Bitch Class

bump

[Bluebell]

Lushy's Learn to Be a Bitch Class

Any gigs for a smug bitch?

I felt like a smug bitch today.

It all started when I saw a woman at the shops who looked absolutely hungover. Now..... that was me no more than a week ago. I felt smug that it wasn't me. Sorry for her but smug for me.

Does that make me a smug bitch?

I know I'm probably far too nice for this thread but it's worth a shot.

[Quiescent]

Lushy's Learn to Be a Bitch Class

Ummmmm, I think this goes here?

AN OPEN LETTER TO
MR. JAMES THATCHER,
BRAND MANAGER,
PROCTER & GAMBLE.


Dear Mr. Thatcher,


I have been a loyal user of your Always maxi pads for over 20 years, and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core or Dri-Weave absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi-pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.

Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from the curse"? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my "time of the month" is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call "an inbred hillbilly with knife skills." Isn't the human body amazing?

As brand manager in the feminine-hygiene division, you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customers' monthly visits from Aunt Flo. Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it's a tough time for most women. In fact, only last week, my friend Jennifer fought the violent urge to shove her boyfriend's testicles into a George Foreman Grill just because he told her he thought Grey's Anatomy was written by drunken chimps. Crazy!

The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in capri pants. Which brings me to the reason for my letter. Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: "Have a Happy Period." Are you f**king kidding me?

What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing happiness - is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak girl, there will never be anything "happy" about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Walgreens armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory. For the love of God, pull your head out, man.

If you just have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like "Put Down the Hammer" or "Vehicular Manslaughter Is Wrong"? Or are you just picking on us?

Sir, please inform your accounting department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flexi-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bullshit.

And that's a promise I will keep. Always.


Best,
Wendi Aarons
Austin , TX

[InnerStrength]

Lushy's Learn to Be a Bitch Class

Hey I am Scottish/Irish.
I feel bitchy today but hopeful too.
By the way, that letter to Proctor and Gamble made me LMAO

[lushy]

Lushy's Learn to Be a Bitch Class

I have seen that before Imagine and it is SO true. I was commenting to a friend of mine about that because I actually bought that brand.

Bluebell, Smug bitch. Love it. Yes, we have an open position for you. Welcome.

[InnerStrength]

Lushy's Learn to Be a Bitch Class

I told my friend - he is a real problem drinker/gambler/sex addict etc. etc. who thinks his life is under control even though he is CRAZY - that he needs to "get his life in order" - in a really bitchy tone. Then I hung up.
That wasent so passive aggressive eh?

[InnerStrength]

Lushy's Learn to Be a Bitch Class

And the worst part is, I kind of liked it.

[lushy]

Lushy's Learn to Be a Bitch Class

LOL. I think that falls under the category of "tell it like it is and if you don't want to hear what I have say so what?" bitch.

[InnerStrength]

Lushy's Learn to Be a Bitch Class

Yeah I guess that IS an appropriate category Lushy. Thanks!

[sammys]

Lushy's Learn to Be a Bitch Class

Holy Maxi pad Imagine, that was awesome you are the MAXI Bitch.

Hurrah for all bitches we make the world go round
If not for us, the world would be full of Stepford wives

Sammys

[lushy]

Lushy's Learn to Be a Bitch Class

Maxi Bitch. Love it. Love all the different categories we are coming up with. See how multifaceted being a bitch can be?