Lushy's Learn to Be a Bitch Class

[Quiescent]

Lushy's Learn to Be a Bitch Class

Heartless Bitches International - Members

Very interesting site dedicated to heartless bitches of the world.

[Quiescent]

Lushy's Learn to Be a Bitch Class

An excerpt from the site.......

Lusch, am I getting paid for this?



How to be a perfect jerk at the Grocery store.
1.) Go dazedly amidst the noise and haste- and remember to make sure that you leave your grocery cart right at the narrowest spot in the aisle so that it blocks the way for everyone else. Also, if there is a cart parked on one side of the aisle, park yours on the other side, thwarting anyone who wants to pass, or turn it so it's perpendicular to the aisle, completely blocking the way.
2.) Other people? Who are they? That's not your concern. If you want to stop and have a long, animated conversation with a friend, it's not your problem if people can't get past you. Oh, and by all means, blab on your cell phone while navigating your cart. Not only are you not paying attention to where you're going, you're also forcing the rest of us to hear your inane conversations. Why bother to wait until you get home to make that phone call? And if someone is attempting to reach an object, that's the time to stand right in front of it while you blab away. Hey, this is IMPORTANT!
3.) If you have kids, remember that the entire world revolves around you and them. And don't worry- everyone will find his or her antics to be adorable! For example, make sure that you let your small child push a heavy, overloaded grocery cart around, especially at the busiest times of day! Don't worry if the little angel rams into other shoppers or knocks objects off the shelves- it's cute! And while everyone else's children need discipline yours don't- so treat the store as if it were your home and let them run around, screaming and unsupervised. And those huge kiddy wagons aren't an inconvenience at all, even if they are the size of a minivan! Park them anywhere you want. And remember, the best time of day to bring your entire brood of children is when the busiest time of day! Everything has to be for the children, including the grocery store.
4.) When you are waiting on line, wait until the last minute to get your cash or debit card out. That's also a good time to decide to get into an argument with the cashier about the price of something, forcing her to get out the circular while everyone else waits for you. Insist she go over every single item on the receipt. Let's face it-twelve cents is twelve cents! And of course, being rude, abusive and insulting to the teenage cashier will most certainly obtain the best results.
5.) No matter how many times in your life you have been shopping, you have to instantly forget how to do it as soon as you enter the grocery store. For instance, don't bother to wait until the person in front of you is finished with THEIR load before you start dumping yours onto the conveyor belt. And remember, butting your cart into someone else's backside will make the line go faster. Really!
6.) Why bother helping the cashier bag groceries? It's so complicated and time consuming! Let her do it, even if it will save YOU some time and makes the line go faster. Even if it's just six items- it's still HER job!
7.) No reason you have to move any faster than a Galapagos tortoise, especially when someone is trying to get at an item on the shelf and you're standing in front of it. And no need to look behind you! Just stop suddenly and back up! You have all the time in the world- so what if the woman behind you just saw her bus leave the stop?
8.) If someone politely says, "excuse me" hoping, perhaps, that you might let them pass, or do something to prevent your children from pulling objects off the shelves, look at them as if they puked or suggested you pick your nose and eat it. They are the ones being inconsiderate, not you.

[InnerStrength]

Lushy's Learn to Be a Bitch Class

Wow that stuff's classic!

[lushy]

Lushy's Learn to Be a Bitch Class

Oh, that list got me all rankled (and laughing). Heartless, stupid bitches I disdain. I think we should all aim to be assertive bitches but with some compassion for others to keep us grounded.

And yes, Rachele, as soon as someone starts paying me to be here I will pass along some change to you.

[InnerStrength]

Lushy's Learn to Be a Bitch Class

Luschy Lusch, I wish someone would pay us to be here too. Unfortunately you are here so much already, I am not sure how much incentive people have to pay you! How could you be here any MORE???
LOL!!!

[lushy]

Lushy's Learn to Be a Bitch Class

Well now. THAT was a bitchy statement. Nice job Jen!!

[InnerStrength]

Lushy's Learn to Be a Bitch Class

Thanks. LOL!

[Java]

Lushy's Learn to Be a Bitch Class

I just found this thread, this is hilarious.

[Beaches]

Lushy's Learn to Be a Bitch Class

Ahhh It's Victoria.we've missed you

[lushy]

Lushy's Learn to Be a Bitch Class

Victoria, are you a bitch or a bitch-in-training?

[Java]

Lushy's Learn to Be a Bitch Class

Oh dear Lush, I am a Bitch...and quite proud that I have mastered the art at such a young age.

[Java]

Lushy's Learn to Be a Bitch Class

Awww Beaches...so sweet

[lushy]

Lushy's Learn to Be a Bitch Class

We welcome you........

[Java]

Lushy's Learn to Be a Bitch Class

Thanks, I am proud to be a part of this fine organization.

[Allie]

Lushy's Learn to Be a Bitch Class

TRUE STORY!!!
I was at Target this afternoon (its a brand new Supercenter that just opened this week) and might I say it was crowded. Well I had been in there yesterday as well and bought a collar for my cat that was too small. So I went to return it today (bear with me, this is relevant) and had to get in line at customer service. Has anyone ever met a bitch in a customer service line??

Well.... I see about four people in line, and one lady standing off to the side looking at some advertisements on the wall with her back turned. She was clearly not standing in line, but I rather assumed she was waiting for someone who was in line, or something. So I get behind the last person in line. About three or four minutes go by, and I got "tapped" on the shoulder.... I turn around to see this lady who was clearly not in line before, or who had been but got so distracted she never noticed the line had way moved on, and she says really loud for ALL of customer service to hear, "Young Lady, do you ALWAYS cut in line?" I was completely embarrassed and initially felt horrible and started to explain that I had no idea she was in line, and that I just thought blah, blah, blah. But GUESS WHAT? I remembered all the wonderful advice here, and guess what I thought to say instead?? I raised my eyebrows and sort of got my neck in position so as to lower my head and look her square in the eyes, and said, "Wow... menopause must be rough!!" So she said, "Well, arent you rude!" And I said, "Ya think so? Why thank you! Those online bitch classes are finally paying off!"

Thanks Lush.
Allie