After a long while,feeling unfulfilled !

[Wildflowers]

After a long while,feeling unfulfilled !

dixon;1439467 wrote: I want to be a open book here and hope nobody will take advantage of me !!!
To be honest,I believe how much we do want to hide the more we get suppressed and troublesome.I have now decided to be either a little bit burden to the society so that they can sort out it easily or a big gift.I think I have a bigger chance to be a gift by telling everything clearly.
need of your opinions here...

Hi Dixon,

I to missed you & wondered if you were OK. Thought of you over the Holidays. But, I'm a bit of a Mother hen & am concerned when people go missing.

I know you were on a good long sobriety run, then had a little curve ball or two. Then you were back on your sobriety game. I & others here have tried to support you, congratulate you to. You also have been a pillar of strength to others hun!..

Just know if you think your feeling like a burden to others here, it may be in your head. I feel the same way. I have a hard time with this. Smart Recovery has helped me with this. Must be strong, plus my fears. I think many of us understand Dixon.... It's hard to let our guards down sometimes & be vulnerable & maybe even harder for men. I was brought up to shut up & don't speak unless asked to. Your the kid, I'm the adult.

I'm not sure what you mean by your statement of being taken advantage of. A bit confused. I don't think you have to be a "little burden or a big gift". I to tend to think in extremes sometimes. I think it's a trait some of us have. Part of addiction. Doesn't mean were bad, or inadequate. It's just part of it imo. Or maybe it's just part of the human condition with everyone & because I have alcoholism & have been working on recovery from many things I'm more aware of it.

I do understand the hiding, isolating part of drinking, & thinking tho. For myself & many others it's part of addiction. With that comes fears, hurts, insecurities, doubts. Some of these are made up in our heads, aren't even real. All the more reason why it's so critical to stay connected here at MWO, & other places. Sometimes face to face support is beneficial for people to. It can be especially helpful to some who are disconnected from family, friends or don't have a good support system in place. At least until we reach a stronger place in life... For myself I've found helping others takes me out of my own head & problems for a while, plus it's super gratifying to see even one person get this sobriety gift.



Nicey,

If you only new how much I've gotten out of your posts all this time, how they speak to my mind & heart. They help me!!! Likely others... I love the emotional piggy bank about friends & it helped one of my girls to! I've never forgotten you sitting under the tree drinking in the rain & trying to explain why you were wet when you got home, cause you knew it wouldn't be enough alcohol, would need more & were hiding this fact.

So please don't think your shares don't help people, because they do!!!!!!....... You helped me from picking up a couple months back when I was in a bad way. There are other posts to!!! Thank you

Love You Dixon :l

PS. I think we need to laugh more.. It's good for our spirits.

[Nelz]

After a long while,feeling unfulfilled !

Hey Dix...

It sounds like you have a LOT on your plate right now and that sometimes that can feel like you are carrying the world around on your shoulders. As I was reading you post and others replies I was formulating what I felt and how I wanted to reply.

Ill be damned if Nicey didnt stick a 10.0 on the landing.....she was spot on with her reply. I may not read "every" post ever written on here, but I come pretttttty close. There are issues that I feel I can offer help, and there are some I dont feel like I can contribute. As much as Id like to reach out to every hurting soul, sometimes nothing is better than something.

There are a lot of members on here, I think some just lurk and get what they need from here........some post a little bit........and some post a lot. It takes a village to raise a child, and most certainly does to help people in our shoes.

I know this board too well, to know that there is hundreds of caring people, and that nobody on here would ever get ignored completely by the group, although it may feel like it. Ive been there, posting a concern and hitting refresh every 5 seconds to see if anyone replied.....we cover all the corners of the globe and are all on at different times.

Hang in there buddy, keep wearing that heart out on your sleeve, wont be long till someone here comes along and helps you roll it up, and kick lifes issues in the assssss!

You are not forgotten

[dixon]

After a long while,feeling unfulfilled !

Hi Wildflowers,
Wonderful suggestion !!
I think we need a charging time to time as our mechanism of Engine is very poor.
Nelz,
Yes I was really doing good for the society before.
Of course I am unnecessarily over ambitious.
Dave,
I mean no can offer a long lasting help so I must think of that.You are great here.
Dix