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**traderged** · March 16, 2007, 08:15 AM

Feeling down

hi nattie,is there somwhere you can go for a few hours ,try to be strong,you are doing very well .

**nattie** · March 16, 2007, 08:18 AM

Feeling down

hi Traderged
Not really - I worked an hour overtime last night so I had less of an evening to get through, Thursdays would normally signal the start of our weekends. Might have to do that again tonight as I can see this all going wrong before I have even started.

x

**Serenity** · March 16, 2007, 08:18 AM

Feeling down

Oh I know this feeling well

My hubby is usually in the pub on a Friday - I have recently tried turning the thing on its head - instead of feeling envious think how lucky I am that I don't have to drink and how good I will feel in the morning - you know concentrate on the positives.

Hang on I made that sound easy and it is not - I am in semi wavering mode at the mo.. Don't know what the weather is like in Essex but here its glorious sunshine - just right for a couple of glasses - need to remind myself that it won't be a couple and it will make me feel like S!!T in th morning.

How bout the cinema tonight - Blood Diamond or Apocolypto is good or gym or walk or anything????

Not much help eh? but you are right at the end of the day we have to work this thing out on our own and get as much support from MWO as we can.

I'll be thinking of you - I will struggle too tonight!
Love S

**nattie** · March 16, 2007, 08:34 AM

Feeling down

thanks Serenity - I need to get over this otherwise I am gonna end up in the office till 9pm every Friday so I don't have to spend any time sober & at home.
I just hope to god he has finished the bottle before I get home, that would make it a whole lot easier.

You are right - here in London today the weather is lovely, just right for white wine in the garden tonight as the sun goes down. So funny how you just remember the nice bits of the drinking isn't it.

x

**Breez** · March 16, 2007, 08:37 AM

Feeling down

or a nice shopping trip or stopping at the grocery store to buy some healthy ingredients to make a big meal. That way it'll take time to prepare & enjoy.

**Serenity** · March 16, 2007, 08:38 AM

Feeling down

Apparently it gets easier - so they say -

**Jacy** · March 16, 2007, 10:35 AM

Feeling down

Serenity;107292 wrote: Apparently it gets easier - so they say -

It somtimes feels like forever.

**Guest** · March 16, 2007, 11:07 AM

Feeling down

Nattie, I hate that being alone and vunerable feeling too. Just focus on what you know and come to the boards often. I swear no matter waht is going on with you, you will find someone else with it so much worse. Then comes fresh perspective. I speak from my experiences.
smiles
Mar

**gabby** · March 16, 2007, 11:24 AM

Feeling down

Nattie,
I know its hard. You feel jealous. Like he is gonna have all the fun and you are gonna be bored and miss out. But if you can try to think of this.
May sound stupid but just try.

Picture a bridge. On one side of the bridge its cold and dark and you are doubled over in pain. You are there with others....your BF and the others in the pub.

On the other side of the bridge is warmth and light and healing from your pain. You can barley imagine this. Its just a glimpse. But decide that you are going to cross the bridge anyway. You have tried to convince your BF and the others to come along but they just don't see what you see. So you decide to travel alone because you are ready for your journey.

You start. Faintly...you see and hear people cheering you on from the other side. The further you travel....you begin to feel what has been promised to you over there. There is light, warmth, healing and love on the other side of the bridge which is a better place. The journey may be slow....but each day you feel better and better and you like this feeling and it is very rewarding. Maybe on the other side of the bridge its just us cyber folks. Maybe we are dorky....but we are real. Cyberspace or not....we are real. We know what you are going through and can help encourage you along. We want you to succeed and heal. Nattie.....We want you to make it over to this side of the bridge. It feels so much better here on this side. I guarantee it!

Once you get over here....you can look back and see the others on other side of the bridge that you left. That side is very clear. Much clearer than the vision of us when you were crossing over here. You can see the cold darkness and the people that are doubled over with pain. You may be tempted to go back and drag them over to us.....but it can not be done. No one can be dragged or forced across this bridge. Each person must go at his or her own choice, when the time is right for them. Some will come, some will stay on the other side. The choice is not ours.

We can love them, we can wave to them. We can holler back and forth. We can cheer them on as others cheered and encouraged us. But we can not make them come over with us.
If your time is now to cross over the bridge....take advantage it. Dont allow failure to happen just because it isnt time for your BF to cross over. If you stay in the dark for him it will just be bad. Instead stay in the light. It is better for you and it will be better for him too cuz you will be there to cheer him on when he is ready. Move forward with your life despite what his choice for his life may be.

Boy that was long. I even surprised my own self. humm.....

Better get on to work now. good luck nattie. Hurry up now....and dont look back for now. Just get on the bridge.....you wont regret it.

**weemelonhead** · March 16, 2007, 11:51 AM

Feeling down

Nattie my treasure, Serenity is right....focus on the positives of not drinking...he seems to need a drink, is that really a position to be envious of???
Always remind yourself of the sh*t that drinking brings...never the 'seemingly' good stuff....if you have a problem with alcohol, a drink is NEVER a treat....allowing yourself to clear your body of this poison IS though....believe me, this sort of thinking pattern does get easier as you reap the many benefits from avoiding the big 'A'.....

Get a good book, tuck yourself up in bed with a cosy cup of Horlicks.......In the morning...you'll be soooo glad you did

Hope you find the strength my girl....Much love
Weemelon xxx

**nattie** · March 16, 2007, 12:06 PM

Feeling down

thank you so much - Gabby that was great......!!!
I am off home now, not going to work o/t as if I can't hack it tonight then I never will.

Here's to wishing you all a lovely hangover free weekend

xx

**pinkrabbit** · March 16, 2007, 01:45 PM

Feeling down

absolutly brilliant gabby really well worded we are all on the journey across the bridge away from the dark hell where we have been living for x amount of time.For the sake of a drink its not worth going back to i can see that now i am on my journey away from it. I would also plan to do something in the morning with a clear head .

**nattie** · March 16, 2007, 02:36 PM

Feeling down

thank you for earlier - it really helped & I am printing Gabbys bit to keep in my bag !
BF asked me to get him some bacardi & coke as pass the shop on the way home, I asked could he not do it himself but he said he was being lazy.
I bought myself a Lush bath bomb while waiting for the train - I am just off to run my bath at the moment & he is sitting downstairs with his B&C....oh, and a bottle of wine under his belt already. I however am sticking to what I have planned.
Think words may be needed when he has a clear head in the morning as I really don't think he is being fair of helpful

xx

**Quiescent** · March 16, 2007, 03:17 PM

Feeling down

Gabby......that was priceless.

Thank you!

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