advice on depression
I love Juja's advice on this. Very good tips, please follow!
I also agree that part of feeling better is about taking active steps to get out of bad situations. But I know also that you usually say moving out isn't an option.
As for your weight and low self-esteem generally, you need to pay special attention to what you are telling yourself. Don't look in the mirror and ridicule yourself. Can you join a weight management program? Let's say even something like Weight Watchers where you count all the points for a day and then you realize the alcohol impact.
Try to be constructive with your criticism. Instead of telling yourself you are fat, tell yourself that while you have put on some pounds, you have many good qualities and that you have lost weight before and can do it again. And you'll be healthier booze-wise too.
I think antidepressants like Celexa can work with periodic binge drinking by the way, as opposed to chronic drinking. I wouldn't rule out medication.
And finally, make sure you get regular therapy!
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