Advice please

[Expatuk]

Hi I am new to this site, 40 yo, it's 10 and I have finished a bottle of wine and will now have a few scotches before midnight, go into stupor then drag myself up at 7 and go to work, home at 6-7 then repeat.

I am tired of this but scared to stop. I have professional job I feel I am just holding onto, what seemed doable a few years back with a litlle less booze is now jeopordizing my life and future. I have hypertension, hyper colestrolemia, fatty liver and now have sleep apnea being looked into

I just feel I have a big decision to make. Chose life and quit this booze or booze and more health issues or worse. Thing is I can't imagine life without booze- I am UK expat and we start young plus everyone drinks, parents, friends etc. Also my partner drinks just much less than me

I cant face AA, and the rehab for 1-2 weeks seem to be fairly expensive without much success

I looked at Lastcall program but seems not too much success

HELP!! Any ideas where to start?

[daisy45]

Advice please

The only way to start is to stop.... easier said than done but worth it! After many attempts I am back on day 1 today and intend to make it my last...
Read, read, read about this site as much as you can. So much wisdom and check out the toolbox and newbies nest... best of luck...

[Expatuk]

Advice please

Good luck daisy and thanks for you reply!! May you have success!

[Nelz]

Advice please

Expatuk;1440949 wrote: Hi I am new to this site, 40 yo, it's 10 and I have finished a bottle of wine and will now have a few scotches before midnight, go into stupor then drag myself up at 7 and go to work, home at 6-7 then repeat.

I am tired of this but scared to stop. I have professional job I feel I am just holding onto, what seemed doable a few years back with a litlle less booze is now jeopordizing my life and future. I have hypertension, hyper colestrolemia, fatty liver and now have sleep apnea being looked into

I just feel I have a big decision to make. Chose life and quit this booze or booze and more health issues or worse. Thing is I can't imagine life without booze- I am UK expat and we start young plus everyone drinks, parents, friends etc. Also my partner drinks just much less than me

I cant face AA, and the rehab for 1-2 weeks seem to be fairly expensive without much success

I looked at Lastcall program but seems not too much success

HELP!! Any ideas where to start?

As much as I understand your fear of quitting, because I was there, you really should have no actual fear of quitting. Take that fear and turn it into excietement, and thats the excitement when you finally see life without AL is indeed possible and a lot better.

Sounds like you are not open to conventional ways of quitting(AA, rehab), and that is totally cool too, It can be done, thats how I did it. I made the promise to myself and my wife that I would never drink again, after a bad night with AL.

Hopefully you have some kind of rock bottom, or anger towards AL that you can use as motivation to stop. Along with the support and advice you can get on this board it is doable on sheer willpower alone.

Wont be easy, but it will be worth it. Do what I did, throw away all the AL in the house, dont buy anymore, and rid your life of AL

[nicelife]

Advice please

Welcome Expatuk!

This place will provide awesome advice and support.

I guess that you need to want one thing more than the other. Do you want what is currently happening to continue, or do you want something different? To get something different you must do something different.

Nelz is a GOD here and has done the hard yards and from his experience what he says is 100% right. This isn't an easy one fits all fix it spot, and to make it work YOU have to work at it. It won't be easy in the beginning but the more time without AL the better you will feel and the more you will want to continue to be AL free.

I don't have much advice to give really. Keep reading, posting, listening to how others are breaking habits and becoming free. We all have our entry points into a different way of being, and perhaps this is your's. Well, it really, truly can be!!

I wish you all the strength you need to get to be where you want to be. That's the thing Expat - where do you want to be?? How do you want to be???

Hugs, Nicey.

[K9Lover]

Advice please

Hi Expatuk and welcome!

I do understand the fear of quitting...it's like giving up the one thing you can count on. But for me, I started becoming more scared of NOT quitting. I realized what alcohol was doing to me mentally, physically and emotionally. I am 40 also, and I spent all of my 30s in a drunken stupor. Sure, I've always had good jobs and a nice house and a car and enough money to be comfortable, but I was still miserable. I hated what I was doing to myself and my daughter. I finally realized I just couldn't live like that anymore...if you could call that living, it was more of just surviving the day until I could get home and drink.

The others are right, the first thing you must do is just STOP...get rid of the alcohol and let your mind start to clear. After a few days you will be able to come up with a long term plan. We have been where you are, and we can help you, so please stick around!

K9

[Phin]

Advice please

Welcome!!!!

I totally understand your fear of quitting, even now, after Day 9 I STILL can't see myself as a non-drinker, but I HAVE to do this. I need to for my marriage, my girls, my job, and most of all my life. I don't want to leave my girls without a mother, especially as an alcoholic. I had to finally make the choice. I am almost 42 and like K9, have spent most of my 30's bombed. The girls don't remember the eralier days getting bad, they just remember now, and I don't want them to have those memories of their mom.

I've been trying since 2007 to stop, so many Day one's I can't even imagine, but I kept trying. Once I even made it to 6 months, and for some stupid reason, had a drink at a party and then the snowball hit.

I am feeling much better having since quit. No more puffy eyes, I don't feel bloated, I've lost almost 13lbs in 9 days. I'm feeling pretty good.

You can do it.....we all had to overcome fear. It makes us stronger xo

[damo180]

Advice please

Just want to say welcome expatuk , stick around here and go for it , you will be surprised how helpful this site and its members can be . It will probably the hardest thing you have ever done but the most rewarding . The benefits are instant , beware of the cravings , but thats all they are , they pass . Read the toolbox on the monthly abstinence , so many helpful tips on staying sober. All the very best . Damo

[Guitarista]

Advice please

G'day Expatuk, and a big welcome to you.

Here is our toolbox. It's full of useful strategies, tip's and inspiration.

Essential reading i suggest. Best wishes on your journey. Go for it, and nail it.

G bloke.

https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...box-27556.html

[Alcoholic]

Advice please

Expatuk:

Hi, was just there 3-4 months ago. I found some people quit using l glutamine and kudzu. I experimented some and found that GNC brand of micronized punch flavored powder l glutamine and planetary full spectrum kudzu from vitamin shoppe (both in United States though) worked well for me. But I was under a doctor's care in the early days to avoid withdrawal though.

Good luck and read what others have done well on. I'm sure you will find a tool to help you quit!

[Mootsbill]

Advice please

Hi Expatuk, look around this site it's full of great stuff. Also have you thought about using supplements. Kudzu, magnesium and l glutmine is all good for cravings. Try and get a plan for the evenings. I became a massive film and box set fan ;0) also read loads of books on alcoholism, addiction, spirituality etc. I also live a very alcohol driven environment, all my friends are drinkers, the yummy mummy's love s glass of red at 5ish ;0) my husband drinks every evening but I have to look out for myself not worry about what others do. What about trying to go a few days say you are concerned about health etc and want to see how you go, you dont need to talk to people about your issues.
Good luck and stick close, keep posting x

[paulywogg]

Advice please

lots of good advice from everybody,just use it! welcome

[Mom21961]

Advice please

Hi! I tried to quit forever until I found this program. Read the MWO handbook, order the kudzu and l-glutamine at the very least, and read Allen Carrs 'quit drinking the easy way'. Good luck!

[Expatuk]

Advice please

Thanks everyone. This is awesome. I feel more empowered already. I have been doing some reading on meditation. Does anyone find this help. The evenings are what I fear. From 7-7 I am working so I have no issues with cravings during the day. That's the weird thing vs smoking for me that I ditched 6 years ago. I had to have nicotine from first waking minute to last thing at night. With AL (picked up on the site lingo already!) I am fine with none in my system for 12 hours than bammm I get home and I need a drink, then can't stop until I fall asleep.

Thanks everyone for the ideas and keep them coming. I am thinking maybe to make Friday night my last.

[Mein Sonnenschein]

Advice please

Hi ExpatUK! I am also new here and getting my feet wet. I am on my 4th day AF. I joined this community on my first day and I already turn to these great folks when the cravings hit. I had a major craving yesterday evening and even picked up a bottle of beer... but instantly went to my computer instead. It really helps. Also, go to YouTube and search for the documentary "Rain in my Heart" (if you have not seen this already). This is a documentary on alcoholism and what it had done to a few individuals. It is heart wrenching because I think we can all relate to someone in the video.

I'm also an expat (American living in Germany) so I can relate to living a lifestyle of drinking. I WAS a wine/whisky/scotch drinker. I actually passed out at a family dinner this Christmas. I'm lonely here in Germany so I used alcohol as my trusty friend to get me through the lonely evenings. But I can say that after 3 mornings AF, I do like how I feel when I wake up without a hangover.

So again welcome... if you start on Friday, I think you will find this community so very helpful! Good luck!