Drunk Free DF

[Guest]

After being here a few weeks now, I have observed many of us that are trying to abstain beat ourselves up, myself included, if we have 1-2 drinks. There are many sucessful moderators on this site. I was thinking and my true goal is to stay DRUNK FREE, "DF". I do not think I can moderate on a normal basis, but if I have a drink once a month, I don't think I should beat myself up over it or feel like I have to start all over with my count like I am punishing myself. So, from now on I am going to say "DF". ( BTW...I have been AF for 10 days....but there was a time I was AF for 5 had about 2 glasses of wine and started over, beat myself up and felt disappointed for days, why, I certainly was not drunk and had done nothing wrong.)

[betty boop]

Drunk Free DF

I like that idea, makes a lot of sense xx

[twinsmommy]

Drunk Free DF

Sounds great! I think anywhere you go for any kind of help with dinking the first thing they say is not to punish yourself. Even for things in the past. If you have a drink once a month or even more often, not only are you not doing anything wrong, most realize now adays there are health benifits. Don't get me wrong I am not trying to encourage drinking but if you beat yourself up and/or deprive yourself of one you may end up at the bottom again. wherever that is for you. I know that is what happens with me.

[ScoobyDoo]

Drunk Free DF

TOC, I couldn't agree more - I think we are on the same page.

When I had a chat with my dad on the weekend he was explaining an interview he heard on the radio, with the head Doc of Drug & Alcohol at a hospital in Sydney. He said something along the lines of; "Only 10% of the patients I see for alcohol need to abstain completely" ie AA lifestyle. It makes sense to me.

Having said that, it's taken me a long time to programme my drinking behaviour so it'll be taking me a lot of concerted effort, patience and time to re-programme so I can successfully moderate. For me, I think it will be an ongoing conscious effort.

I know I'm probably thinking far ahead (and rambling a bit) when I say this but I'll bring it up anyway. I have kids now, which is one of my motivators to moderate (abs during the week) and one day down the track, my kids will leave the nest, so I wonder what will help motivate me to stay on track then? (grandchildren, I hope!). By then, I hope to have completely changed my attitudes to alcohol. As I said, it's a long way down the track but I'm trying to think of this is a total change in attitude to how I have viewed alcohol to date.

I do think there are some who are better off abstaining completely, and that is a great thing for them. For people like you and I (and RJ, our fearless leader) I think your approach is a really healthy one, so three cheers of green tea to you, my friend!

Doo

[marcel]

Drunk Free DF

TOC, That is a great idea! I really like it. Thanks.

[wakingup]

Drunk Free DF

I am right onboard with this too! You know, that's pretty much how the rest of the world, those "normal" people handle life.

As much as I'd like to be AF, it's hard and it's something that I'm going to work toward but won't go crazy if I slip every once in a while. As long as I don't overdo it, that is.

[just h]

Drunk Free DF

Okay I can go drunk free for a a couple of weeks max..........then I seem to go on a bender......maybe a new vocabulary may help keep me from self destructing. I can go
AF for a couple of weeks and feel great. Then when I do drink I tend go overboard like it's the last time. I should think of it as just a drink or two for my allowance and the move on like and adult. I have in the past been able to enjoy a drink or two with little effect. I guess it just was how I was thinking about it...........So, here's to a new vocabulary and thought process to help me get control or even AF if I feel that's where I should be.....

[Kimmy]

Drunk Free DF

Hi TOC - I think that is a great Idea for the Moderators, but I don't now if its for me - I always rip the ring out of it - but I did find something funny in my received mails yesterday regarding what you eat and drink and the statement about some Alcohol being healthy - well - I enjoyed it - I understand Afrikaans though.

The (GREAT) truth about diets

For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting medical studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the Americans, Australians, British, or Canadians.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the Americans, Australians, British, or Canadians.

3. The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the Americans, Australians, British, or Canadians.

4. The Italians drink large amounts of red wine and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the Americans, Australians, British, or Canadians.

5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than the Americans, Australians, British, or Canadians.

6. Ukrainians drink a lot of vodka, eat a lot of perogies, cabbage rolls and suffer fewer heart attacks than the Americans, Australians, British, or Canadians.

CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like.

Apparently, speaking English is what kills you!

Nou praat ek maar Afrikaans...(Translation: so I will just speak Afrikaans.)

[Determinator]

Drunk Free DF

ditto JustH.
when I tried and failed to moderate in the past I still wanted "the effect" from alcohol....big mistake for me. I cannot look at alcohol as a tool. anyway AF is really turning out to be more enjoyable than I expected so no complaints here oh, and DF for the rest of my life no matter what!

[Bookish]

Drunk Free DF

"DF" works for me. I don't want to give up wine, I just don't want to sleep next to the toilet ever again.

And unfortunately English is the only language I speak, so I had better get my blood pressure checked pronto.

[Bluebell]

Drunk Free DF

I don't think I could. I am just at the start of my Abstaining life and just feel, at the moment, that to think, oh well, in a couple of months I can have a couple now and again, scares me. I know, personally, that I just can't do that. I know what you are saying though, that if you do decide to have a couple whilst "abstaining" you shouldn't have to feel guilty. Well, it would be great if a couple is all you have. Good on ya. But for some, like me, it would just lead back to that slippery slope.

[Cashregister]

Drunk Free DF

Me neither BB - been there done that had the hangover! It's one, then 12 standard drinks for me b4 I know it. I am not moderate in anything I do!!

Cashy
xxxx

[ScoobyDoo]

Drunk Free DF

Bluebell, I hear what you're saying completely.

For what it's worth, I think we are all on our own paths, and some might be similar to others but at the end of the day, you've just got to do what is right for you.

I'm in early days and I don't know if mods is going to work for me over the long term, but the attitude and approach that I'm working on now, is what I'm running with, and I'll see if it works for me. Whatever road (with corners and bumps, and continually changing scenery and horizon) we choose, it should be one with a positive outlook and always looking forward. I am applying that positive outlook regardless of abs/mods

Doo

[Bluebell]

Drunk Free DF

Doo, I know some people can do it, I know I couldn't. As Cashy says, been there, done that!

I think it all depends on an individual's constitution.

You have to work out for yourself, through trial and error what is right for you. It doesn't always work that you get it right first time. Sometimes, like me you have to try and try all sorts of different approaches. I am trying abstaining now. It appeals to me so much, no that's an understatement. I am actualy excited about abstaining. I would not have said that last month. So it just goes to show, it's just where your heads at whether you stick with your current choice of dealing with this or, if that's not working, moving on to the next possible solution until the missing piece of the jigsaw is found.

You're right about the positive attitude - works wonders!

[ScoobyDoo]

Drunk Free DF

BB, your attitude is brilliant! If I find myself in the position where I need to shift and change to abs forever, I want your attitude to go with it. I am so happy for you!

Doo