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    #16
    Facebook Makes me Drink

    decided;1452702 wrote: Been there Its an obsessive compulsive cycle. The drinking amplifies its intensity by 100. You got some good advice. Try to sober up for a few days. Even if you still chick obsessivly, and it hurts for a while when your sober, you might come to accept the situation and be able to move on. Checking her status and drinking over it isint going to reverse time and make her post about you, or appreciate/ treat you they way you deserved. BUT you can treat yourself better

    I know the pain and dissapouintment seems more than you can handle but you may be surprized at how much stronger you are than you give yourself credit for. Sober time puts sooo much into perspective...
    Amen.

    I too have got totally obsessive over FB posts and its amazing how when we are clear headed for a while it loses its power over us. It really does.
    Living now and not just existing since 9th July 2008
    Nicotine Free since 6th February 2009

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      #17
      Facebook Makes me Drink

      I am trying, I really am and thanks to all for the replies, but how do I tell a woman that I like that I don't like her using facebook, don't know why but that site just makes me depressed and most of the woman I meet have facebook. dating is hard!

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        #18
        Facebook Makes me Drink

        You don't have to tell her anything. She's off doing her thing(whatever makes her happy). And you shouild be doing the same do you really feel your in a good place to be dating now?

        Nothing anyone here can say can do it for you. You have to do it for yourself, we can only support you as you undertake the challenges of doing so. Someone told me once to be the type of person you'd want to be with. Would you consider yourself a happy healthy person right now?

        It all comes down to you. You chose to check the facebook you chose to drink and ultimatly your choices are making you feel powerless and unhappy. So appart from making changes ask yourself what other option do you have and chose the one that's going to get you closeer to what you want.

        Good luck luv! *hugs*

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          #19
          Facebook Makes me Drink

          You don't need to tell a woman you don't like her using Facebook - just make it irrelevant to you. My wife is addicted to it. It took a while, but finally after I canned my account the constant, "you didn't like my status update," or "did you see so-and-so's status update," or "did you see what so-and-so said about [insert political candidate here]??? Can you believe it??? I have to answer this," stopped, because as a non-Facebook user, it was not relevant to my life and since my account was permanently gone, she couldn't make me make it relevant to my life.

          Personally, I detest social networking. I think getting on with people is difficult enough as it is. Do I really need Facebook to tell me a casual friend, coworker or acquaintance has outspokenly political views diametrically opposed to mine (just one example), casting a pall on our relationship? For me, the answer is no.

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            #20
            Facebook Makes me Drink

            Thanks, that are some good ways of putting it out. I am just looking forward to the days of when again I am totally sober. This time I really do think the breakup was because I did ask her about the facebook issue a lot. I would go to see because it was like everyday she added a new friend. I confronted her about it and she would get mean. The social media sites I just cannot do, and it seems everyone I come across has a facebook with hundreds of friends. So when I am getting ready to date again, Its better to just not even mention facebook while we are together? It makes sense and it would help out on the drinking.

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              #21
              Facebook Makes me Drink

              I really don't want, nor do I mean to offend anyone, but as a graduate student and later college teacher, I remember when Facebook first made it's big splash about ten years ago. The funny thing is, today's college students are now actually post-Facebook. I personally (and this is just my opinion - if you are a hardcore Facebook user, please don't take it personally) think it's kind of silly to see middle-aged people acting like the 19-year olds of ten years ago.

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                #22
                Facebook Makes me Drink

                I know what your saying...I remeber a few years ago people started realizing that facebook was ruining relationships. There were also a lot of jokes going around ON facebook about it. Lol As a general rule it seems mist people post links and not su much status updates.( The what am I doing/thinking moved to twitter I think) None the less I guess some people just really like it or are still relativly new to it. Bottom line remains that if it makes you miserable...

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                  #23
                  Facebook Makes me Drink

                  AGUYFROMNC;1453178 wrote: Thanks, that are some good ways of putting it out. I am just looking forward to the days of when again I am totally sober. This time I really do think the breakup was because I did ask her about the facebook issue a lot. I would go to see because it was like everyday she added a new friend. I confronted her about it and she would get mean. The social media sites I just cannot do, and it seems everyone I come across has a facebook with hundreds of friends. So when I am getting ready to date again, Its better to just not even mention facebook while we are together? It makes sense and it would help out on the drinking.
                  When your ready to date again you won't care about facebook in the mean time you won't be ready to date until you work on yourself. So make a plan and get started on day 1 AF.
                  Enough of this facebook talk its just holdiong you back.

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                    #24
                    Facebook Makes me Drink

                    I know I am sorry about the facebook talk, Its when I am totally sober and I start dating again and then this facebook issue comes up, Im afraid to face it and how to face it.

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                      #25
                      Facebook Makes me Drink

                      no worries, just don't date until you work that out, when its wored out then you can look into dating. You don't have to apologize here btw.

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                        #26
                        Facebook Makes me Drink

                        Facebook was dead to me the minute I started becoming 'friends' with my work colleagues (including management). Now it's more something I use to keep up with the important details in my friends' lives and share important things in my life. It's become much more like LinkedIn for me than anything else and I'm really pretty much over it.

                        I guess I also use it to see what my work colleagues are interested in and use it to my advantage in the workplace. My boss's boss is one of my 'friends' and she is into Ice Hockey. It just gives me a bit of advantage when I see her because there is always something I can talk with her about.
                        Well it's all right now. I've learned my lesson well. You see you can't please everyone, so you've got to please yourself.

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                          #27
                          Facebook Makes me Drink

                          It got to me again and I had to check her page, now she is posting some negative things about me. How do 35 year old people do this sort of things. I think theres a way to contact facebook about it, man this sucks so bad, just when I was getting the alcohol under control.

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                            #28
                            Facebook Makes me Drink

                            You need to stop putting yourself in all situations where you are tempted to drink, including checking facebook. Seriously, just stop. It's not normal to be so obsessed with what a person is posting about you. Why do you care so much what she is posting? I would not date anyone who tried to control me like that.

                            Turn off your computer, make some tea, and read a book.
                            Well it's all right now. I've learned my lesson well. You see you can't please everyone, so you've got to please yourself.

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