Persephone's Ascent from Hell

[NoSugar]

Persephone's Ascent from Hell

Hi, Persephone

Is today a better day? I hope so.

If writing here isn't helpful, are you talking to someone where you live? I hate to think of you being alone right now. You've been on my mind and I've been checking to see if you want me to call you. That offer stands .

I hope you have found some peace and freedom from the pain you've been in.

Stay as strong as you've been, Persephone. I think you are amazing. :h NS

[Byrdlady]

Persephone's Ascent from Hell

Thinking of you, too. There sure is a lot more to getting sober than just stopping drinking. I know you will get your thoughts sorted out....it takes time to get thru all the crap. Forgiveness plays a big role in that, too, believe it or not. We are all just people trying to make our way. My thoughts are with you....call if you need to. Byrdie

[Persephone1]

Persephone's Ascent from Hell

Hello Again MWO Peeps,

I have been on a deliberate hiatus from the site, as I felt it necessary to remove myself and my negativity/defeatism/Fear/Pain (etc...ad nauseam), in perhaps an effort to protect 'You' from me/it. It wasn't doing anyone any good. And I am sorry for subjecting anyone to it. Sometimes, the best option is to simply 'exit the building'. In fact, I wasn't even sure that I'd return, nor am I certain I will stay. But I did want to share a few things, if even it can help or encourage one person.

I'm grateful to report that I have not had a drop of alcohol since 1/25/13 and have no intentions to revisit it. My mind and psyche get clearer and healthier every day. I am still exceedingly gratified to wake up WITHOUT A HANGOVER! I don't think I will ever tire of that, as there were countless brutal encounters that I'm not sure how I survived during those awful years of binging.

Since my last post I have relocated back to California and have found myself in literal paradise. I have an amazing job and my joint pain has diminished about 70% (a fuckin' miracle really). It has to be the climate change, I've no other explanation, as I tried Everything else back in MI. When I thought that I truly could not go on, the planets aligned just so ~ and everything changed virtually overnight. I am deeply grateful and there isn't a day goes by that I don't know how fortunate I am to be here, still breathing. And some days even, thriving.

My daughter lives in Napa Valley (the wine Mecca) and this HAS presented challenges for me, albeit fleeting, on most occasions. I am constantly aware that my health REQUIRES my sobriety, but when Everyone at the dinner party is partaking of the wine~God, I do feel pangs of Desire. And then I enjoy myself and watch everyone get too wasted, or too tired, or need more and more to keep up the 'high' ~ and I happily drive them all home! And feel Ace in the morning. I like this life. I have just as fine a time as the partakers, if not Better.

I think, for me, I used up all my 'party chips'. On occasion, I'm sad about this ~ wish I could have just a glass or two to 'celebrate' and event. But I can't. I can't risk it, it's just not worth the gamble. Now I have to rely on my Love for Life and the people in it. I wouldn't trade any of the struggles, tears, sweat, pain or misery I've gone through ~ they've shaped me. I finally feel whole. I've sewn together all the pieces of me (the good AND the bad) that I've cultivated throughout my life and it's become solidified into a cohesive 'Me'.

I hope that you are all going strong, being true to yourselves and your families. I will read up, catch up soon. Wishing you all the best :l

P.

[Guitarista]

Persephone's Ascent from Hell

Hey Persephone!

Good to see you friend. Rapt to hear your joint pain has diminished 70%. Bravo!

Take care, and thanks for checking in and giving an update.

G bloke.

[sweetpea29]

Persephone's Ascent from Hell

It's good to see you and to hear that you're doing better

Had wondered about where ye had gone. Your posts never struck me as being negative or defeatist in any way- the opposite in fact!

Hope you will stick around,
Best wishes xx

[RunningCourage]

Persephone's Ascent from Hell

Hey Persephone!

Real good to see you - and excellent news on the diminishing joint pain.

Stick around Perse - we enjoy your company! :l

[NoSugar]

Persephone's Ascent from Hell

What a great post to wake up to! I'm so happy for you that you are feeling much better and doing so well! :h NS

[lifechange]

Persephone's Ascent from Hell

I found your thread for the first time today and read through it-- Perfect that you came back to tell us how you are. What an amazing change-- you sound to be in such a good space emotionally, psychically, physically. I hope you'll come, at the very least, every so often to write about how you are. It does help others (me).

[Byrdlady]

Persephone's Ascent from Hell

Well done! So good to see you. Stay the course and you will never be sorry. I'm so glad to see that you did give time, time. It works miracles! All the best, Byrdie

[free at last]

Persephone's Ascent from Hell

Persephone, so great to see this post from you and to hear that your pain is subsiding.

I am sharing with people a great interview I listened to yesterday -- Krista Tippett interviewing the Vietnamese Monk (Thich Nan Hanh) on mindfulness and suffering. Go to On Being website. Think it might resonate with you.

Again, so pleased to hear from you.