My conclusion is that the only thing that makes me happy is Alcohol

[AGUYFROMNC]

I do not like to say it , but that the way it seems, I even when I am supposed to be happy while I am doing other activities that makes everyone else happy, I am the one that is emotionless , Having a girlfriend, thought I found a good one after almost a year of being sober, she dumps me because I would always confront her about the facebook issue, she was always on it and had many friends on it, always an argument. Now im alone started drinking again 2 weeks ago, trying to stop now. again. Just looking back I did all the self help things, MWO has helped so so much. Just everything thats supposed to make you atleast laugh or happy, I cant get to that point. Now if I gulp down a hard drink , instant all happy. I been to a rehab center didnt do nothing, I came out knowing more about where to get drugs, which I dont use. It was a joke. This is terrible

[Struggles 106]

My conclusion is that the only thing that makes me happy is Alcohol

NC GUY

SO sorry you are having a rough time. I hope you can find the strength to get back to where you need to be.
The "instant happiness" with a drink is so deceptive. It's mind and mood altering, all the more reason to avoid it.
You had almost a year sober? Maybe the living sober part was neglected. Your time has to be filled with something better and more productive. Maybe looking for validation externally isn't working. The peace has to come from within.
But what do I know? I only have 43 days at the moment. But I do know that I don't want to kill myself with alcohol. And I'm sure you don't either.
Seems a shame that the rehad didn't help you more. I always thought it would be great to go to rehab. Frankly antabuse is keeping me going. Maybe you should try it. It takes the option out of your hands so you would be compelled to do something else.

Good luck and hang in there

[RunningCourage]

My conclusion is that the only thing that makes me happy is Alcohol

Mr NC

The only thing RIGHT NOW that alleviates all the things you dislike about your life APPEARS to be AL.

The FACT is that none of the things you dislike will really disappear if you drink.

The FACT is, if you want to deal with LIFE, you gotta do it sober, without running to a poison that TAKES life.

Is it easy? NO. It's fecking hard. Will you cry? Probably. Will you scream and yell, shout and have temper tantrums? Perhaps. Will you hate it before you love it? Most likely.

BUT if you want to be HONEST with yourself, and honest with life... AND DISCOVER THAT LIFE HAS HAPPINESS FREE FROM AL - then there is one option and one option only. Give it up - for YOU, for today. And say that everyday ("for me, for today") for the next wee while.

Guy from NC - you owe it to yourself. You owe yourself the best life you can give yourself. And I know there is a life there for YOU. An awesome, loving, fantastic adventure. It's yours. Take it. Fecking take it.

LIFE is NOTdependent on Facebook, on alcohol, on cigarettes or drugs. LIFE IS an amazing, beautiful, happy, gloriously exhilarating rollercoaster of experiences and sensations, discovery and revelations.

Don't get me wrong - we all have shit days. But fuck me, let me face the shit days sober and be all the STRONGER for it, than run into a bottle and hide like some frightened rabbit.

RC

PS - Sorry if this sounds harsh, mate - I am saying this to me as much as I am to you

[Alcoholic]

My conclusion is that the only thing that makes me happy is Alcohol

A guy,

Ann is right.... Happiness doesn't come from external things: a bottle, a relationship, or money....even if you have the perfect girl, you won't be happy all the time, or even most of the time.....happily ever after a marriage is very rare.....

[Hippyman]

My conclusion is that the only thing that makes me happy is Alcohol

That is just an illusion. Alcohol kills your brain cells and as it does it leaves you with a false sense of power. The alcoholic brain is a trickster. What ends up happening is when you drink alcohol, "IT" starts to live and you merely are allowed to survive while it convinces you to feed it more and more....over and over. It'll never be enough until you STOP this cycle.

[resrchqueen]

My conclusion is that the only thing that makes me happy is Alcohol

I am not a doctor or psychologist but it seems like you may be suffering from depression and self-medicating with alcohol. The reason I suggest this is because I believe I do the same... In the end, its just more depression for us because the alcohol just numbs the depression or buries it for a while and then it rears its ugly head again. Have you ever consulted with a counselor or done a simple test on the internet to see if you may suffer from depression? Its often illuminating.

[resrchqueen]

My conclusion is that the only thing that makes me happy is Alcohol

Whoops guy...I just saw your earlier posts about depression so it sounds like you have that figured out... I apologize for being a bit slow on the uptake...only on my 2nd cup of coffee.

[Alcoholic]

My conclusion is that the only thing that makes me happy is Alcohol

Hi, a guy,

If you have depression, do you have a therapist you talk to? If not, can you call for one?

[paulywogg]

My conclusion is that the only thing that makes me happy is Alcohol

hey a guy,ive felt the same way,i posted it in a thread called "i dont get how its done" on dec 26 i was in that place where i was really struggling,it was all about how drinking makes me feel better,but in the end it doesnt

[aihflvt]

My conclusion is that the only thing that makes me happy is Alcohol

Guy - I would venture to say you like the idea of alcohol rather than saying you love alcohol. It does have the effect of temporarily making your problems seem to disappear, but the operative words here are "temporarily" and "seem." When you sober up, your problems are still there. Do you get drunk again and kick the can down the road, or do you sober up and deal with your issues? Kicking the can down the road will just leave you locked in this vicious cycle.

Do you have a family doctor? I go to a family practice clinic and they have a psychologist on staff, and when I went AF (before I lapsed again) last year, I met with my doctor and the psychologist. They also offered to make a referral to a psychiatrist as well. This may be a good place to start if you genuinely want to jump off that horrible merry-go-round.

[AGUYFROMNC]

My conclusion is that the only thing that makes me happy is Alcohol

I go to a therapist on a monthly basis and see a phycologist. When I was sober I tried gave, it all the weeks to let the anti depressants work, let the anxiety meds work nothing, come back in a month or two and try a different medication. tryed combos all that, now that he my doc knew I was drinking again told me to taper down on some medications, man Ive drank so much on those meds before without telling him, I know its not good, but even when I was sober and taking them they did not do a thing, example I do have freinds, we are waching a movie, everyone is laughing having a good time funny movie, im emotionless, being on meds sober, Thinking to myself I could have a drink and not have to watch this , with a drink even the info mercials become entertainment. And thank you all for the replies and help! done AA, had a sponsor, rehad, detox, therapist , waste of co pay , say find another one, seem to be all the same to me soon as the 20 minutes is up , nothing really helped. I guess in a way im venting because I dont or maybe have an insecurity of my latest breakup, i know it was about facebook, hate to bring it up again, thats what we fought about, so when i do meet another woman and Im sober, which I want to , most likely she will have facebook, maybe I should just let her stay on it and never go on the new womans page as someone had mentioned to me. but I am working on getting sober atleast for my health. Thanks all!

[Kradle123]

My conclusion is that the only thing that makes me happy is Alcohol

When the student is ready, the teacher will appear...

That just popped into my head, NC reading your posts.

Stay close,

:l

[aihflvt]

My conclusion is that the only thing that makes me happy is Alcohol

Guy, I'd like to share my story with you because I think our underlying problems are similar. I've been underemployed since September. Wells Fargo comes along and offers me a bait-and-switch refi deal on my mortgage that requires me to close out my home equity line of credit, which in the past had always been my "rainy day" money. By the time I figure out the refi deal is not really a deal, my credit union will not restore my HELOC because I'm underemployed. So I drank all fall and into the winter. Vodka magically made my financial woes disappear and I didn't look for any additional employment. Which was probably a good thing. I probably would have gone into an interview unprepared, hungover and reeking of liquor. But now that my savings have dwindled to several thousand dollars, I can literally no longer afford to have vodka interfering with my life. Kicking the can down the road means that bills will start going unpaid. I wouldn't give up on your therapists or doctors. Mine said that alcoholism was a symptom of another underlying problem, and until that is addressed, you won't be really free of the alcoholism. I tried AA once, and all I saw was a room full of dry drunks. I suspect that even though they had quit drinking, they hadn't addressed why they drank in the first place.

[Kradle123]

My conclusion is that the only thing that makes me happy is Alcohol

aihflvt;1454994 wrote: I wouldn't give up on your therapists or doctors. Mine said that alcoholism was a symptom of another underlying problem, and until that is addressed, you won't be really free of the alcoholism. I tried AA once, and all I saw was a room full of dry drunks. I suspect that even though they had quit drinking, they hadn't addressed why they drank in the first place.

This is 100 and 10 percent true! Now that AL is pretty much gone ( still have my slips) my bipolar disorder is loud and proud in my life, let me tell you. The stoicism you feel NC is near and dear to my heart. I live in the Pacific Northwest with some of the most spectacular natural recourses on the planet. Yet I wondered for years why I could look at all this and feel...nothing, almost bored. Just went hiking for instance to say I did something not because it inspired me.

Lately though this has lightened up. My kids are a big part of putting the joy back in there but I must be super vigilant about the underlying mental issues I have. Otherwise I'm just gone...

I keep thinking of Charlie Sheen, heaven help me, because if he did indeed get sober, there s no question he was completely mentally ill... Or a vet good actor.

:l:h

[Quakegirl]

My conclusion is that the only thing that makes me happy is Alcohol

ETA: sorry, I think I only read the first page. Just saw that you had been on ADs before. Below is what I wrote before that, for what it's worth. You know that alcohol basically cancels out the effects of anti depressants, right? It's a depressant. So whatever you're taking has a double whammy of a fight.


Guy, I am also wondering about depression. What you describe is how I felt, before I upped my anti-depressants. Quitting alcohol on its own, may not be enough to allow you to connect/reconnect with joyful/happy things. There has to be a spark there in the first place, for you to go 'this could be fun/interesting...maybe I should try it'. When you're depressed, you don't really engage with anything. It's all flat, and that spark isn't there. The big trap about alcohol is, it's like a short-cut to that spark. But it's illusory. Because beyond the spark and the very brief high, there's nothing but grey and flatness again on the other side.
Whether it's therapy or antidepressants or your own self-help programme (there are some really interesting alternative approaches involving nutrition, exercise...I just don't have the patience!) it sounds like you really need some extra hep to break out of the horrible (but understandable) cycle you are in.