please help me not drink

[Siren136]

please help me not drink

Hi Quake. Good job on recognizing your trigger and coming here for support instead of drinking.

I hope the quakes have died down now. The first thing that struck me in your original post was that, although you want to drink because you're afraid another quake may happen, you really need to stay sober because something could happen. I don't mean this to alarm you, but if something were to happen when an aftershock occurs - do you want to be drunk and making bad decisions, or sober and making good ones to keep yourself safe?

A lot of people have 'emergency plans' and keep them close by to refer to when some sort of emergency happens. Why don't you write down the steps you will take when a quake hits. You could use some of the tools you mention above and maybe even try to do some meditation or deep breathing exercises. I only mention this because you say above that you have the tools but sometimes forget to use them. Write it down and follow the plan when something happens to shake you like that.

[FlyAway]

please help me not drink

Well done Quake. I'm glad that you faced your fear and got through to the other side without alcohol. So much of this journey to sobriety is about learning how to deal with all of the crap life throws at you without your old friend alcohol. Do what you have to do to get through; eating brownies sounds like how I dealt with it a couple times! But after getting some serious AF time under your belt you'll find that you have the tools to deal with whatever the stressor is in your life without the booze. It's all a learning process and an adjustment period. You're on your way.

[Sunbeam]

please help me not drink

Have you considered meditation for moments like this? Wine used to be such a comfortable escape from everything until it turned into my enemy. Now I just sit in my chair, close my eyes and rock for a few minutes. Then everything looks better, I can go ahead and do what needs to be done.

[Mick]

please help me not drink

Quakegirl..well done for reaching the 21 day point ..excellent..you know sometimes when you crave a drink..you dont actually want one..its just alcohols way of telling you I am the master and you are the slave..We have all craved for al before and that is why we are all here..to support and help each other..yes your avatar says it all..and it isnt easy either but it is so worthwhile to get your life back..so dont be scared or worried..challenge it...we are all here for you

[Quakegirl]

please help me not drink

I DID NOT DRINK YESTERDAY!!!

So happy to be able to say that. Thanks Siren, Flyaway, Sunbeam, Mick and everyone who helped me through. Lots of good ideas here I am going to take on board in terms of incorporating meditation and mindfulness into this process. I nearly wrote 'battle', but I don't want to give alcohol that much power.
I really haven't given any thought to how I would get through times like that, and having a list of other things to do, some ideas written down is a really good idea.

Siren, what you said about being intoxicated and having to respond to an emergency...these quakes have screwed with my head so badly, that I don't even think about having to respond because I don't feel like I will get the chance to, if another big one comes. So I might as well be out of it. This is not how I usually think - in normal times I am a really responsible, almost hyper-responsible person.

I think it's part of the whole PTSD thing, but I have awful pictures in my head of bad things happening, sometimes, and at some level I feel really resigned to the quakes just getting me in the end. I know how irrational and illogical and non sensical it sounds. Even writing it. I've lived through 15,000 of them, without so much as a scratch. I was meant to be in a building that collapsed and killed just about everyone in it the day of the quake. And can't shake the feeling that I should have died. Again, I know how insane all this sounds.

[Siren136]

please help me not drink

Quakegirl - that does not sound insane at all. I was in a fender bender when I was 5 and to this day I don't like going over hills where I can't see what might be in front of me. Maybe there is a car stopped for some reason, just like the day of the accident.

What you have is survivor's guilt, and it has manifested itself as a fear of quakes. I'm no professional, but it could potentially be PTSD as well. This forum is no replacement for medical care. Please consider getting some counseling for your fear and anxiety.

And never underestimate the amount of power alcohol actually has over you. You need to be ever vigilant of the tricks your mind will play once you have lived AF for a while. I still hear stories from long-timers on how AL tries to convince them that they can moderate their drinking or have "just one". It's good to think of it as a battle - a battle for your life. You'll win because their is no alternative.

Stay close by and let us know how you progress!

[Quakegirl]

please help me not drink

Thanks, Siren. Yeah, I already got diagnosed with PTSD but thought I was doing a lot better since I upped my anti depressant dose. I guess it's all part of the same messy package.

Think I am still going to need to get some help.
Am pleasantly surprised I had managed to stop drinking at all, as I know I was self medicating.

[Mick]

please help me not drink

well done quake..youre doing well..yes you are right...dont give al the chance..you can do it :goodjob:

[Hippyman]

please help me not drink

Nothing is so bad that a drink won't make it worse! Hang in there. You can beat the beast. This time 4 sure. :l

Quakegirl;1456436 wrote: We just had a decent sized quake here (we've had more than 15,000 in the past couple of years, four of them over 6.0m) and I really want a glass of wine. I am so scared that it's a foreshock and another big one is coming.

I am going to try and focus on cooking dinner, and taking it a minute at a time. But I really, really, really want a wine right now

[Wildflowers]

please help me not drink

I agree it doesn't sound insane at all. Learning to manage them is doable without drinking alcohol. I also agree your likely experiencing survivor guilt. Are there any f2f support groups in your area to help cope with all this trauma for you & your family?

The other thing you could tell yourself is that you have already survived thousands of these quakes. Facing your fears head on. Along with the fact you have absolutely no control over nature. Keep reminding yourself of this... Not all 15,000 quakes have been catastrophic or nobody in your area would still be inhabiting the land..

Some thing that was passed onto me that may help you & others is when I'm overwhelmed with anxiety which produce fears. Either from my past or future tripping that manifest in my today & I seem to have forgotten most my tools, is I look down at my feet & stare at them for a min or two. I've also added saying out loud the day & year. Along with looking in the mirror making it even more real. When I see my fear, I face it today head on. I then tell myself I'm a beautiful, intelligent woman who's capable, able of handling today's challenges. Fears of not getting something I want, or fears of the unknown. Which I have no control over.... I hand them over elsewhere.... Releasing their power over me & empowering myself.