A little help for tomorrow

[morrison]

Hey guys. I need a bit of help with something. It isn't that I have the urge to drink, but tomorrow I have a lunch meeting, and I'm already getting sick to my stomach thinking about it. Basically, the meeting is myself, my manager, our company president, and one of our clients that we are trying to renew a contract with. The client loves me, my manager does too. My whole company loves me, cause I kick ass at my job. However, I'm getting sick, cause I haven't seen our company president since the Christmas party. I was a mess, and a complete embarrassment. I can't believe some of the stuff I said. I'm sick thinking of it, and I can't stop thinking about it. I know it is going to be going through my mind the whole time during the meeting. I spoke with the man once since then , but it was over the phone, and that didn't go too well, as I was pretty hungover, and I'm certain now, it probably sounded that way. They never asked me to get help for my drinking, cause I get the job done. However, it's common knowledge that I am/was an alcoholic. Today is 5 full weeks for me, and I have no intention on starting to drink again. However, I just need a system to deal with my sins of the past. I will have a hard time thinking about anything else until this meeting is done. I'm hating myself, and getting ill to my stomach. I dread stuff like this so much, I was about to take a job offer last week that I really don't want, just to get out of this meeting. How insane is that? Please, any advice would mean so much. Thanks.

[sparklem]

A little help for tomorrow

Just breathe, do your best and keep on track---to err is human, to forgive is divine. Keep yourself together, everything else will fall into place. I admire you, wish I had your backbone. I'm still trying to get straight, some nights are better than others. Your story makes me realize that it can happen.

[Determinator]

A little help for tomorrow

Morrison, that sure sounds familiar.
You kick ass right? your manager and coworkers know that. You have a good positive momentum to ride on, let it do a little work for you now. This guy has seen plenty of drunk people in his life and most of them probably had few endearing qualities to him, let alone a proven work ethic in his own biz. Combine that with the fact that you will look/feel 5 weeks healthy and I'd say you're ready to kick that meetings ass. Go Morrison!

[lushy]

A little help for tomorrow

You cannot change what happened, but you can change your mindset going into the lunch. Act as if nothing happened, remember how long you have been AF (good for you BTW!!!), and I think knowing you never plan to go back to that bad place will give you the confidence you need to get through the lunch. Let us know how it goes. You will be surprised I think how nice it will turn out....

[sami]

A little help for tomorrow

hey.....you're good at what you do.....you made a mistake. people make mistakes. such is life. obviously you're of great value to the company or they would have at least said something to you. but they haven't. just remember.....you are good at what you do...you have made, and continue to make, valuable contributions to your company. the fact that you may have made an absolute ass of yourself during a holiday party but that no one has said anything to you about it may mean that...
a) you're harder on yourself than others
b) you're not the only one who was over-imbiding during the holidays
c) you are so darn valuable that your manager dare not breathe a word of your ocassional lapses in judgment
d) now that you have the drinking thing under control you are gonna be so incredibly awesome you'll be moving in that corner office by next weekend.

Relax and try to enjoy tomorrow
You are obviously very good at what you do. You are strong and have great will power. Keep your chin up. Aplogize to no one.(at least at this particular business meeting) Knock em dead!

[tawnyfrog]

A little help for tomorrow

At times I've found myself in situations where, like you, I was sick to the stomach in dread and anticipation. And you know, each and every time this has happened, the reality turned out to be not nearly as bad as my apprehension.

Good luck for tomorrow. 5 weeks abs. is brilliant.

Go Morrison!

[ScoobyDoo]

A little help for tomorrow

Wow, you've had some great feedback here!

I think D is right... the boss will know how good you are at your job and will most likely respect you for what you've achieved and for your honesty.

I think if it were me, I would try and organise a coffee with him, some time before the meeting, and chat with him about how bad you felt after the christmas party, and explain a bit about what you've done about the problem since then. If he doesn't respect you for what you've accomplished, and what you now further offer the company, I'd be really surprised. Easier said than done, but I think this is how I would tackle it.

I wish I had some other advice to offer, but the deep breathing before hand is probably the only other thing that comes to my mind for now.

*hug*
Doo

[Bluebell]

A little help for tomorrow

Hi Morrison,

Good to meet you.

If I were in your shoes... well, I think I would be getting myself into a state as you are now BUT, with experience of going through a scary situation, I would listen to these good people.

Tawny is spot on. Things can build up in your head so bad that they render you incapable of thinking clearly. 99.99% of the time it never turns out as bad as you think it will.

Look at it this way, once you get this hurdle over with you can put closure on the whole incident/s and move on. What a relief that will be!

Just be true to your self and behave as you now normally do (the new sober you) and you will be absolutely fine.

5 full weeks of being sober. You should be damned proud of yourself. You are not who you were in the past. You are who you are now. Show them.

Best of luck.

[morrison]

A little help for tomorrow

To everyone of you, :thanks: and :l

I really appreciate the support. I need to be reminded that things aren't as bad as they seem, but I'm still embarrassed to face people I've dealt with while drunk. Does anybody else have this issue. I feel I'm doing so well, and then somethin triggers a past incident, and I immediately get that feeling in my stomach. The situation plays in my mind over and over. It drives me crazy. This is why it was always so hard for me to quit in the past, because although the booze cause my problems, I needed to escape the self loathing I felt because of the problems I created, causing a never ending cycle. I've been pretty much guilt free, but this encounter is just bringing some guilt back up.

And Deterinator.......... We ALL kick ass

[morrison]

A little help for tomorrow

Woooohoooooo!!!

Thanks again guys, everything went well today. I actually got some really good news from our client. He spoke with me personally after the meeting, and wants to hire me on directly, instead of going through the company I work with now. It will get at least another 10Gs a year. We are just going to do the contract for 6 more months, and then I'll go and work directly under this client doing the same job for more money. Wooohooo. And I was all worried about this meeting. The good things are gonna start a rollin' now!!

[irishlady]

A little help for tomorrow

morrison thats excellent news.... You must be putting good vibes out there cos they are turning round and coming right back at you, well done..

Love, Louise xx

[Rocky]

A little help for tomorrow

That was then....and you still kicked a** at your job. now think what you can do. If it comes up, just claim...those days are behind you....
Your boss better look out for his /her job....You are on Fire!!!

Go get em!

[Determinator]

A little help for tomorrow

that's got to feel nice Morrison

I can relate to what you said about that cycle with a most succinct quote from America's foremost philosopher Homer Simpson:
"aw precious beer, both the cause and the cure for all of lifes troubles"

[betty boop]

A little help for tomorrow

Morrison,

Only just saw this thread so didn't get chance to send my well wishes.

But a HUGE well done, I can understand how you felt, several things remind me of the past and when they crop up I feel sick too,

Glad that it went well, we are all so happy for you xx

[Guest]

A little help for tomorrow

WOOOOOHOOOO is right!!!
Congrats!!
Mary