Army Thread Tuesday 26th February

[RunningCourage]

Army Thread Tuesday 26th February

Back again.

Tabbers, if you're still about, can I also ask if there was any particular reason/draw that made you drink again? Some of your posts I have found utterly inspirational and am very aware that at nearly 3 months i feel i think i've broken the back of the habit... but when I hear about those who have done long stints of AF and then find themselves, for whatever reason, back drinking I'm cautiously curious as to why...

[sweetpea29]

Army Thread Tuesday 26th February

RunningCourage;1469770 wrote: Back again.

Tabbers, if you're still about, can I also ask if there was any particular reason/draw that made you drink again? Some of your posts I have found utterly inspirational and am very aware that at nearly 3 months i feel i think i've broken the back of the habit... but when I hear about those who have done long stints of AF and then find themselves, for whatever reason, back drinking I'm cautiously curious as to why...

Same here!

[sweetpea29]

Army Thread Tuesday 26th February

Where's me manners?

:hallo:Well Arsey, hows tings?

[Tabbers (a.k.a. KTAB)]

Army Thread Tuesday 26th February

Well thats a $64m question. If I am being honest, and again there is no other way to be here, for we fool only one person if we arent, then I suppose it is a combination of factors.
Complacency or maybe laziness creeps in. The thoughts of 'never again' seems overwhelming some days but if it is one thing then I think it must be the fact of not being willing to accept totally and unequivocally that I cant drink like 'normal people' despite my being completely convinced that I have overcome that hurdle.

[sweetpea29]

Army Thread Tuesday 26th February

KTAB;1469776 wrote: Well thats a $64m question. If I am being honest, and again there is no other way to be here, for we fool only one person if we arent, then I suppose it is a combination of factors.
Complacency or maybe laziness creeps in. The thoughts of 'never again' seems overwhelming some days but if it is one thing then I think it must be the fact of not being willing to accept totally and unequivocally that I cant drink like 'normal people' despite my being completely convinced that I have overcome that hurdle.

Thanks for answering even tho it werent my question!

Have failed in previous attempts thinking i was 'healed' so guess need to keep the message fresh in me head the only way i can be healed is through abstaining

[Tabbers (a.k.a. KTAB)]

Army Thread Tuesday 26th February

There is only one cure and that is not ever picking up that first drink. As wise people say 'one is too many, a thousand not enough'

[RunningCourage]

Army Thread Tuesday 26th February

KTAB;1469776 wrote: Well thats a $64m question. If I am being honest, and again there is no other way to be here, for we fool only one person if we arent, then I suppose it is a combination of factors.
Complacency or maybe laziness creeps in. The thoughts of 'never again' seems overwhelming some days but if it is one thing then I think it must be the fact of not being willing to accept totally and unequivocally that I cant drink like 'normal people' despite my being completely convinced that I have overcome that hurdle.

Thanks for sharing Tabbers - it is real good to hear your thoughts.

That's my fear. The longer i become AF....the harder I sometimes find it is to remember why i searched online for alcohol sites and about ways to give up or cut back... the harder i find it is sometimes to remember my secretive drinking because no one ever saw me, because it was just me and the witching hour passing the time of night. Or me who would sometimes have a can or 2 of beer in the car as they drove at the end of the working day. No one saw me. No one accused me. It never happened, right? And the harder i find it is to reconcile the "me" who drank socially with others and enjoyed it, with the "me" who was both looking for their next drink, or ruefully regretting having drunk at all when driving to work in the morning. Was i really the latter? (Um... yes!)

What i try to cultivate is the very reality that many wonderful people, people who i admire and respect, do not drink - whether because it just aint for them, or whether because they felt they had to give up - and that none of them desire to drink. Indeed they all appear to have become a wee bit more enlightened since giving it up.

I found this quote, which kinda spoke to me about my drinking:
I kept waiting for something bigger, something more profound, something that I could hitch myself to and be carried away once and for all to the heaven-on-earth that I deserved. I kept struggling for control, which was really a demand for everything I wanted--peace, happiness, love, perfection--all at once, right now, and for all time. I wanted life to be perfect, always. And when it wasn't, which was most of the time, I got really anxious, and when I got anxious, I started thinking about how good it would feel to get high again. William C Moyers

Here's another which is where i am just now - well, what i'm trying to work on:
There is only one cause of unhappiness: the false beliefs you have in your head, beliefs so widespread, so commonly held, that it never occurs to you to question them.? Anthony de Mello

[RunningCourage]

Army Thread Tuesday 26th February

sweetpea29;1469779 wrote:

Have failed in previous attempts thinking i was 'healed' so guess need to keep the message fresh in me head the only way i can be healed is through abstaining

Or wot she said :H

NOTE TO SELF: Stop writing essay length replies

[limers]

Army Thread Tuesday 26th February

hello all, settled in for the night waiting for revenge to start, God I love that programme

[limers]

Army Thread Tuesday 26th February

There is only one cause of unhappiness: the false beliefs you have in your head, beliefs so widespread, so commonly held, that it never occurs to you to question them.” Anthony de Mello

I love this arsy.

[sweetpea29]

Army Thread Tuesday 26th February

Hey Limers, how are you today?

[Tabbers (a.k.a. KTAB)]

Army Thread Tuesday 26th February

Indeed RC therein lays the problem, as time goes on the bad memories fade and rose tinted specs about all the 'good times' we had drinking can surface while all the while the addiction is still there ready for an awakening at the first taste of AL again.
I havent been sober consecutively for more than about six months in the past 25 yrs so I am not the person who can answer how long term we can tackle this, some of our long term army folk may offer some insight.
I know personally when I felt that I used to read lots of bios written by people in recovery and watch documentaries such as rain in my heart. For me it help keep my focus and not candy coat my selective memories.

[anon]

Army Thread Tuesday 26th February

limers;1469797 wrote: There is only one cause of unhappiness: the false beliefs you have in your head, beliefs so widespread, so commonly held, that it never occurs to you to question them.? Anthony de Mello

I love this arsy.

Bloody hell that is all fabulous stuff!:goodjob:

Thank you

[limers]

Army Thread Tuesday 26th February

im good sweetpea, hi Ktab. Must watch some reign in my heart , never seen it

[Tabbers (a.k.a. KTAB)]

Army Thread Tuesday 26th February

Hi Mrs A & Limers.
You should watch the series Limers, takes any glamourous thoughts we have about 'our drinking' and places them squarely where they belong. Its strong stuff.