Army Thread, Friday 1st March

[tiptronic_ct]

Army Thread, Friday 1st March

Zenstyle;1471215 wrote: Now why is your SIL getting involved? Shouldn't it be your brother that deals with that?

He decided he wanted some 'space' some time ago. We're not on speaking terms. His choice, not mine.

[Recluse]

Army Thread, Friday 1st March

Afternoon!

Zenstyle;1471199 wrote: I had a brutal session at IOP last night. I was wondering when it was going to be my turn... lol! I haven't been doing very well on setting boundaries and now the therapist has decided I'm co-dependent... and not just with one person, with a load of people. She's told me I need to get more selfish. I don't think selfish is a good thing so I'm really struggling to wrap my head around this. Anyone have any experience with the same thing?

What kind of boundaries do they think you need to set zenny?

[tiptronic_ct]

Army Thread, Friday 1st March

Afternoon, Pandaman

[Zenstyle]

Army Thread, Friday 1st March

Recluse;1471220 wrote: Afternoon!

What kind of boundaries do they think you need to set zenny?

Hiya Reccy!!!

Well... I am not good at saying "no" and she picked up on it right at the start. (Incidentally, Thursday's group therapist is my assigned one and I'll be doing one-on-one with her after IOP.) She says I'm giving too much of my energy to other people, that I have to put myself first. And now she's decided, seeing as I'm not getting the hang of it, that I'm co-dependent. Basically, I need to be able to assert myself and get my own needs met before dealing with everyone else's...

She gave me an exercise which I'm typing up just now. I'll drop it in the thread when I'm finished. Maybe someone else has a problem saying "no" as apparently addicts and alkies are notorious for it. Who knew? I always thought we were a selfish bunch!

How's yourself? )

[Zenstyle]

Army Thread, Friday 1st March

Tipps... I'll bet you were right royally PO'd with the SIL... LOL! I didn't realize your bro lived closeby. Or did she make a SPECIAL trip?!

[littlepinkcat]

Army Thread, Friday 1st March

Zenstyle;1471214 wrote: I remember all too well how busy I was when I did my degree Pinky. It's a lot of work but it will be worth it!

aye it will my degree is already working for me as I have just got a job as an assistant researcher and we are having our report published, so i am getting me first publication as an undergraduate which is very rare and I have also managed to get a job with the NHS in mental health support

[littlepinkcat]

Army Thread, Friday 1st March

Howdy tippers nd reccie xx

[Recluse]

Army Thread, Friday 1st March

tiptronic_ct;1471221 wrote: Afternoon, Pandaman

Hi tips That was some journey to work you had this morning. Do you never think about moving closer to work? Must cost loads in petrol as well as all the time spent travelling. I could never have done a commute like that.

[tiptronic_ct]

Army Thread, Friday 1st March

Zenstyle;1471226 wrote: Tipps... I'll bet you were right royally PO'd with the SIL... LOL! I didn't realize your bro lived closeby. Or did she make a SPECIAL trip?!

She's in Cape Town for some or other airy-fairy self-enrichment course. They live up in Gauteng. About 1 500km feom here.

[Zenstyle]

Army Thread, Friday 1st March

littlepinkcat;1471227 wrote: aye it will my degree is already working for me as I have just got a job as an assistant researcher and we are having our report published, so i am getting me first publication as an undergraduate which is very rare and I have also managed to get a job with the NHS in mental health support

Jingos... you;re a busy woman all right! No wonder you don't get much of a chance to post... :wow:

Well done you! You're making great strides! :l

[Zenstyle]

Army Thread, Friday 1st March

tiptronic_ct;1471230 wrote: She's in Cape Town for some or other airy-fairy self-enrichment course. They live up in Gauteng. About 1 500km feom here.

Oh Gawd... how long is the course for? Will she be visiting again?

[Recluse]

Army Thread, Friday 1st March

Zenstyle;1471225 wrote: Hiya Reccy!!!

Well... I am not good at saying "no" and she picked up on it right at the start. (Incidentally, Thursday's group therapist is my assigned one and I'll be doing one-on-one with her after IOP.) She says I'm giving too much of my energy to other people, that I have to put myself first. And now she's decided, seeing as I'm not getting the hang of it, that I'm co-dependent. Basically, I need to be able to assert myself and get my own needs met before dealing with everyone else's...

She gave me an exercise which I'm typing up just now. I'll drop it in the thread when I'm finished. Maybe someone else has a problem saying "no" as apparently addicts and alkies are notorious for it. Who knew? I always thought we were a selfish bunch!

How's yourself? )
I'm not terribly good at saying no either, for example last week I drove 40 miles to meet my brother for lunch and I didn't want to go, but couldn't say no for fear of hurting his feelings. Fortunately my social life is very limited so the problem doesn't arise too often. I would imagine it's much harder for you cos you have a much bigger social circle.

I'm having a good day today, thanks, mainly cos I'm sober so I've got a few things done around the house.

littlepinkcat;1471228 wrote: Howdy tippers nd reccie xx

:hallo:

[tiptronic_ct]

Army Thread, Friday 1st March

Recluse;1471229 wrote: Hi tips That was some journey to work you had this morning. Do you never think about moving closer to work? Must cost loads in petrol as well as all the time spent travelling. I could never have done a commute like that.

We could go and live in one of the Cape Town suburbs, but the traffic would be a nighrmare regardless. Both Mrs. T and I work in the city centre. If we didn't have kids, it would be ideal to live there, but alas. Stellenbosch is still a small town in many respects. We have a good lifestyle here. The cubs walk to school (700m), Mrs. T grew up here and is much more of a family person than I am etc.

[tiptronic_ct]

Army Thread, Friday 1st March

Zenstyle;1471232 wrote: Oh Gawd... how long is the course for? Will she be visiting again?

Luckily not. Thank dog! She's attending the course until Sunday and flying back home early on Monday.

[littlepinkcat]

Army Thread, Friday 1st March

Zenstyle;1471231 wrote: Jingos... you;re a busy woman all right! No wonder you don't get much of a chance to post... :wow:

Well done you! You're making great strides! :l

cheers I got the jobs when u were in rehab and i must of forgot to mention them to u