I've been logging on for the past month, reading a lot of posts and occasionally posting myself. I'm slowly getting into the routine of the supps , but have not taken campral or topa. I was drinking wine at least five times a week for a few years...It started out as an occasional thing that turned into a full-blown addiction. Since finding this website, I began counseling for depression, stress, etc...and started taking an anti-depressant/anti-anxiety.
I never really thought about being AF, but definitely wanted to cut way back and feel comfortable with moderating. For the past month, I have managed to do that. I allowed myself one night at home (alone) to have a bottle of wine and one night out to have a few drinks.
Here's the thing...Last night I drank a bottle of wine at home, and all day today I've been thinking about it. Yes, that first glass was a huge stress-buster, but after finishing off the bottle, I just felt sick of myself...not literally sick, but just sick of it.
The point is I guess I just wanted to say that this website has really changed the way I think about drinking. I'm not feeling that compulsion to drink on a daily basis, and last night when I drank on my "allowed" night it just didn't feel like the right thing to do. My mindset about drinking is so different that I am consciously and unconsciously talking myself out of drinking. That's such a change and such a positive feeling.
My new goal as of right now is to let go of that last "allowed" night of drinking alone. I don't want to feel controlled by it even that little bit. And I have to give all of you credit for helping me to really look at drinking in excess as a fixable thing. It's not easy. It's embarrassing to admit you have a problem. BUT it is possible to change it and to improve the quality of your life.
Thank you everyone for opening up about all of the struggles you face in regards to drinking and for offering support. I plan on recipocating as often as I can!
Julie
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