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[JackieClaire]

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InChains;1478296 wrote: Is it wrong that I just went 'ahh dammit JC caught me?' xD was kinda hoping you wouldn't catch me failing again. Weird I know, feel I let the army folks down

-Inchy

Ahhh you never know when I'm going to pop up.

Ach you've let nobody down. Failing means you've stopped trying and you haven't stopped trying. Now that would be very sad.

[InChains]

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I dunno if I am trying, I post, but I still drink, so am I trying? or making myself feel better about not trying by posting? Beats me.

[InChains]

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and that makes me look like an a-hole, I'm sorry. I just meant that sometimes i think I use posting here as an excuse, but then after a while I do end up stopping. Coming back to MWO has always been the beginning of me sorting myself out, just takes a while, i wonder sometimes why. I probably would say that better sober. I would probably say -most things- better sober haha.

[bleep]

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Have you considered trying meds for this? I ask because you sound a bit like me, but talented. I took/take baclofen, and it changed the way I think about alcohol.

I never wanted to stop, which makes any attempt pretty futile. I knew I needed to, but wanting and needing are two very different things.

[Zenstyle]

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Looky looky! It's Incheroo!!! :l:l:l

Don't be feeling like you're not up to par my dear. You are amongst addicts here, number one. Number two, addiction is a disease just like cancer or diabetes. And number three, you are a bright, vivacious young woman and you can totally turn your situation around... I have faith in you.

When we're active in our addiction it is running the show... but that is NOT who we are... we're still the same good people underneath it all. You have to disconnect your true self from the addiction and acknowledge the fact that YOU as a person are so much better than that. Just because you have this disease, it doesn't mean that your core self is gone... it's still there.

Come on over to the army for a chat next time you log on... you're still a long standing member there and I'm sure they'd love to hear from you... :l

[InChains]

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Hey again everyone

Bleep: Meds aren't for me, won't go into detail but alot of family on alot of meds for mental health issues, really puts me off taking anything haha

Zen: great to see you! Right now not really distinguishing the difference addiction/alcohol/me, kind of seems like the same thing. I sometimes wonder if starting so young has blurred that line more than it should.

[Zenstyle]

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It probably has muddied it up a bit in your head Inchy. I started young and all... I was only 14... so I do know what you're saying there. But it's very important that you understand that you are a valid, decent person and it's your addiction that makes you into the person you don't want to be.

In all honesty, we all feel the same no matter what age we are. We're all feeling guilty and disgusted with ourselves. They've been teaching me (I'm in addiction therapy just now) to disassociate my core being from the addicted me... that I deserve to love myself and be loved as I am a good person... and the same thing goes for you hon... X Don't waste your time beating yourself up... save that energy for dealing with this.

[InChains]

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feeling pretty hopeless right now, its ridiculous, I don't drink a alot next to some on here, but I just can't seem to stop what i do, or stop the thoughts.

[TheSunFlower]

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I have felt hopeless as well. However, in reality none of us are hopeless.

I have learned that it not what you drink, when you drink or how much. If it is problem in your life....then its a problem.

I can always hear something out there....that I go...."oh man....I never drank that, or at that time or even that much". However, I am here.....so it must be a sort of problem. I am grateful to not be at many dark places of other people.....however I have had my own darkness. That is enough. AL is not my friend.

[K9Lover]

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Hi Inchy!

I hope you're doing OK today. It doesn't matter if you don't drink "as much" as others here do (or did), if it causes problems for you, it's too much. Don't compare yourself to others. Focus on how it makes you feel. The fact that you're here, and have been here a while, shows that something needs to change. Are you ready to focus on quitting? We know how you feel and we CAN help!

Love,
K9