The Kradle Will Not Fall...
Really struggling tonight. Got rid of Oscar (Mama was right K9; That was Oscar WIlde: One of the most destructive lietrary figures in history...)
My new Avatar used to be my old life...so much fun and good friends...tubing, boating - Those are the munchkins on the tube, good friends at the helm...and to think that was the SUmmer I stopped drinking...Remember that camp out?
Now all I want to do (all I can do) is paint the porch and throw myself into work...Sedona had the melt downs of all melt downs tonight..it was awful. Screaming, clinging wanting me to stay with her- wouldnt let me go- crazy crying and she kicked a hole in the wall. She has NEVER done that. And it was all over my asking the twins to get all their clothes put away and teh heft bags ( I put all their crap in hefty bags now when they won't pick up) sorted out. Madison was grumpy about it but did it- Sedona became unglued...And it doesn't help that its hot as hell here and we have already taken our bog pool down and packed it all away...and the hot tub isn't filled becasue it's just been too hot...:no:
And The more the kids ratchet up, I seem to ratchet down but it's a heavy price. :zonedout:
I'm just in a major depression still. I want my old back life ..isn't that awful..?
But I'm so grateful to have this place to come to and pour it out instead of pouring it in a glass.... :h
Going to go lie down. Hubs took Sedona to get some dinner. I just couldnt kick..Bad Mommy...bad wife...well, at least I'm not three sheets to the wind. :l
Love you all
It was the begining of teh end.
Really struggling tonight. Got rid of Oscar (Mama was right K9; That was Oscar WIlde: One of the most destructive lietrary figures in history...)
My new Avatar used to be my old life...so much fun and good friends...tubing, boating - Those are the munchkins on the tube, good friends at the helm...and to think that was the SUmmer I stopped drinking...Remember that camp out?
Now all I want to do (all I can do) is paint the porch and throw myself into work...Sedona had the melt downs of all melt downs tonight..it was awful. Screaming, clinging wanting me to stay with her- wouldnt let me go- crazy crying and she kicked a hole in the wall. She has NEVER done that. And it was all over my asking the twins to get all their clothes put away and teh heft bags ( I put all their crap in hefty bags now when they won't pick up) sorted out. Madison was grumpy about it but did it- Sedona became unglued...And it doesn't help that its hot as hell here and we have already taken our bog pool down and packed it all away...and the hot tub isn't filled becasue it's just been too hot...:no:
And The more the kids ratchet up, I seem to ratchet down but it's a heavy price. :zonedout:
I'm just in a major depression still. I want my old back life ..isn't that awful..?
But I'm so grateful to have this place to come to and pour it out instead of pouring it in a glass.... :h
Going to go lie down. Hubs took Sedona to get some dinner. I just couldnt kick..Bad Mommy...bad wife...well, at least I'm not three sheets to the wind. :l
Love you all
It was the begining of teh end.
)
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