I've let myself down

[Bella]

My 2 friends came over today with their small son. I cracked open a bottle of wine which we drank. They have gone now and true to form i've opened more wine. My husband is furious with me which is making me want to drink more. I hate him. he has poured one bottle down the sink but i have more hidden. I'm back to square one. i don't know why i'm drinking and i feel depressed. oh well no point giving myself hell over it. i really hate this burden i have.

[MKR]

I've let myself down

Dear Bella,

We are all works in progress - go find your L-glut and kudzu, right this minute sweetie.

If you have the CD's lay down and listen to them. You will relax and stop hating your husband . . .well . . .maybe, he is being demeaning by pouring the stuff down the sink instead of talking with you.

You can do this! Hugs, Mary

[Determinator]

I've let myself down

Bella, we hate this burden, but we should learn to love ourselves.
Good ideas from MKR. have some sweets...be creative, power walk...
rooting for ya!!!!!

[nattie]

I've let myself down

Hi Bella
I can relate - I too have a BF/husband who is zero support when you have made a mistake. Please try to see it as just that though, tomorrow is a fresh day & you can get back to what you have been striving for.

much love
Nattie
xx

[Guest]

I've let myself down

Bella, You don't hate your husband. Your very upset with yourself and his reaction to you. I have been there..more often than I want to admit.. I agree, grab your supplements collect your thoughts and start over. It's so easy to get caught up in a moment, you wanted to be social with your friends and afterwards you wanted the "Glo" to continue. I was very tempted yesterday. It is a struggle but you have us. You are worth it
Love Ya
Mar

[southernbelle47]

I've let myself down

{{{{{{Bella}}}}}}

Take a deep breath and go get something to eat.
Plan on talking to your hubby tomorrow after you feel better.
Don't even think of staying down.
Get up and start again.
:h Nancy

[Beaches]

I've let myself down

Bella, you are not at square one. You are here and that is so much better that where you once were. You are reaching out and allowing us to help you. Take a deep breathe and know that tomorrow will be better. Tomorrow will be a new start. We have all been there please stay strong!

[Atox]

I've let myself down

Everyone lets themselves down and that includes your husband...Try and think of yourself and be true to your own ideals,if you fail you have raised the goal posts too high. Small steps and ignore the doubters.Its one step at a time. Just visualize the great wallof china or the pyramids. ONE STEP AT A TIME... be proud of what you have acheived

[bgg]

I've let myself down

Atox;112129 wrote: Everyone lets themselves down and that includes your husband...Try and think of yourself and be true to your own ideals,if you fail you have raised the goal posts too high. Small steps and ignore the doubters.Its one step at a time. Just visualize the great wallof china or the pyramids. ONE STEP AT A TIME... be proud of what you have acheived

totaly in agreement one day at a time , hangon in there

[Saint Jude]

I've let myself down

Awww Bella, I'm sorry your Hubby's being so over bearing, that doesn't help. I do know how ya feel. If I decide to pour something out... that's one thing, but it's gotta be my decision.. not his. You can't bully someone into behaving to your will.
Hang in there Sweetie.
Glad your here. We love ya!
:l Judie

[Arial]

I've let myself down

in your own words ...

"Someone here said- 'fall down 7 times, pick yourself up 8 times' or something like that. I think thats one to keep in your mind..B"

Hi Bella, looking at past threads this is a response you posted to support and encourage someone in a similar position to the one you find yourself in now - so listen to your own words! You've let no one down and you've done brilliantly so I absolutely agree with Beaches - you're not back to square one - it's just all part of our challenging journey towards sobriety. Can't comment on hubby's reaction as not sure of the details, but has he had any chance to look at the 'family members' forum - I wonder if he got some further insight himself whether he'd stop being critical and learn to be more understanding and supportive???

Found this poem which seemed worth adding ...

When things go wrong as they sometimes will
when the road you're trudging seems all up hill;
When the funds are low, and the debts are high
And you want to smile, but have to sigh;
When care is pressing you down a bit -
Rest if you must, but do not quit.

Success is failure turned inside out;
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt;
And you can never tell how close you are
It may be near when it seems so far;
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit -
It's when things go wrong that you must not quit.
(Author unknown)

So hang in there, keep posting and keep confident - tomorrow is another day, another step forward...

[Noella]

I've let myself down

Bella,

I just wanted to say I feel for you! It's a lot harder than people (outside of this site) think to stop drinking. I hope you are hanging in there - sending lots of hugs your way!

Noella

[cassy]

I've let myself down

Hi Bella

dont think you are back to square one because you arent. Ok maybe today was crap but it can get crappier if you and hubby row on it.

go plan something nice to do this evening to end the day on a pamper yourself note...Bubble bath, read, cook, watch TV.

Do something beauty treatment wise and go to bed early BUT not before you get a cunning plan as to how to avoid the alcohol trap tomorrow if possible.Stock up on nice soft drinks..get the ice cubes ready so when friends come over again do a funky alcohol free cocktail in nice glasses and sit arounf mucnhing health snacks...spring is in the air and we want to look and feel good dont we...well the best we can.


Get your girlfriends on board with the alcohol free thing too maybe..who knows they might fancy a healthy night in with you??


So slosh on the face cream , grab a magazine and hot choc. plonk a kiss on hubby and say stuff it for today go to bed and dont beat yourself up!!! ..BUT tomorrow you wake guilt free and determined ..armed with a plan to get through these danger zones!!!


Good Luck Bella and thanks for your honesty...hope you will be their for me when my halo slips !!


Regards Cassy

[Popeye]

I've let myself down

Hi Bella,
I'm sorry that you're having a hard time.
I hope you can pick yourself up and start again.
If you slip, it's always about starting again, not giving up.

I wish I could say something to make you feel better.
Look after yourself love.
You'll feel better tomorrow.

[Breez]

I've let myself down

Don't hate your husband-he's only reacting because he hates this disease. Why else would he pour the alcohol down the drain-to punish you or to help you? My husband does not drink around me & if he caught me with any alcohol in the house he'd pour it down the drain too. It's b/c he knows that I want to be AF and has seen what alcohol has done to our family & hates it. He wants me to live & not kill myself or my soul with it any more.

I know the first reaction is anger. I know b/c I've done it. "It's my disease not yours". But some of my husband's reactions were only done because he was at his wits end. A good talk always helps.