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    Starting Over...

    I had managed to be alcohol free for 4 months, and moderate well for another 3. I'm now even deeper in the hole than when I started.

    I had 3 rules about drinking:

    1) No drinking before noon.

    2) No drinking at work.

    3) No drinking to recover from a hangover.

    I breached #1 and #3 in 48 hours.

    ....

    I'm done with this. I love good wine, but this has gotten ridiculous. I can't enjoy something that I am guzzling in huge quantities. I am not doing my job well any more because of this. I know my weight loss is being depth charged by this. I know my health is being compromised. My LIFE is being compromised.

    Screw you, alcohol.... I don't need you.

    AF Day One, with all the fury of the redhead I am.
    "Feel the fear... move through it... do it anyway."
    Jillian Michaels

    #2
    Starting Over...

    You are now making GOOD choices! :goodjob:I've been drunk and I've been sober. You can trust me when I say... SOBER IS MUCH, MUCH BETTER! :goodjob:
    Sober since Sept. 24th 2012 This time 4 SURE!
    https://www.mywayout.org/community/f19/newbies-nest-3162-30074.html Newbies Nest
    https://www.mywayout.org/community/f11/tool-box-27556.html Tool Box
    https://www.mywayout.org/community/f19/what-plan-how-do-i-get-one-68554.html How to get a sobriety plan

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      #3
      Starting Over...

      Good choice Marieth, we are all here with you.
      Like Hippyman says sober is so much better.
      FT
      AF with a few speed bumps during 2014 & 2015 but will succeed.
      As of 4/12/2014 I have not smoked at all and feel great.

      Comment


        #4
        Starting Over...

        Hi Marieth:

        And Welcome back. I found this thread helpful when I think about going back...

        https://www.mywayout.org/community/f9...ion-63043.html

        There's another one too which is great but I can't think of it at the monent.

        Will check back. You are SO not alone in this. :l
        On My Own Way Out Since May 20, 2012
        *If you think poorly of yourself, you can fail with a clear conscience.
        https://www.mywayout.org/community/f11/tool-box-27556.html tool box
        https://www.mywayout.org/community/f19/newbies-nest-30074.html newbie nest

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          #5
          Starting Over...

          Great job getting back on track. I cannot moderate. I have tried many times and failed everytime. I simply don't have an "off" switch. It's easier not to drink. Less to think about. I hated having to babysit myself. I am such a pain in the ass! Best of luck to you! You can do this!
          February 27th, 2013. A New , Successful Start. :h

          When everything seems like an uphill struggle, just think of the view from the top!!

          Comment


            #6
            Starting Over...

            HI Marieth

            Aahhh-the old moderation fantasy... Many have indulged it and many have failed.
            YES I suppose some can manage it, but I don't think YOU can.
            I think you have proved this to yourself.

            There was a time when I wanted to do that, and made various "rules" just like you--but mostly that the limit would be 2 or 3. It might work for a week, or a month or whatever but eventually it's the same old crap. Drunkenness and all that comes with it.

            Perception is reality. If you don't like your reality you can change it, or self-medicate to tolerate it. It's very easy to do. Just drink and push everything aside. Alas..it's still there when you wake up and the cycle continues.

            You had 4 months so you know what that is like. Wasn't it better, or were you irritated the whole time? I used to do that too-stay sober and just grit my teeth wanting to drink.
            Not sure how it really works but it seems to me that simply getting fed up and prepared to embrace life on it's own terms may be the key.

            I can only speak for myself, but I think it's a common pattern. FINALLY you just look in the mirror and say NO MORE. I hope you can get a plan together and continue.

            And of course this is a great place to be to do that. Take care

            Comment


              #7
              Starting Over...

              Moderation does not work for me, as Wagoneer states my OFF switch seems to get lost so its better to not at all. Same with my smoking I can't do that in moderation, some people can smoke cigars or cigarettes occasionally but not me so I am better off not touching any of that stuff.
              FT
              AF with a few speed bumps during 2014 & 2015 but will succeed.
              As of 4/12/2014 I have not smoked at all and feel great.

              Comment


                #8
                Starting Over...

                Hi Marieth!

                How are you doing today? I just wanted to chime in and agree with the others. I've seen few successful moderation stories. The thing is, if you need "Rules" about drinking, you are NOT a normal drinker and probably never will be.

                How is your progress going so far? Please keep us posted...use your RedheadPower for good, not eviil!

                K9
                :heart:I love my daughter more than alcohol:heart:

                Believe in yourself. You are stronger than you think.

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                  #9
                  Starting Over...

                  Never underestimate the power of a redhead when she is worked up. (I learned that when I worked for a red-headed irish woman. )
                  BHOG

                  ?Alcohol removes inhibitions - like that scared little mouse who got drunk and shook his whiskers and shouted: "Now bring on that damn cat!"-Eleanor Early

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                    #10
                    Starting Over...

                    Marieth, welcome a couple of days late. We have a bunch of newbies in the No Fooling AF April thread - you are welcome to join us over there. Actually some are on day 2 now, others on Day 3 and even some long timers. Our mutual goal is to make April totally AF. Then May, then June, on and on.

                    Feel free to pop in there and/or the Newbies Nest. Hope you stay close by!
                    Well it's all right now. I've learned my lesson well. You see you can't please everyone, so you've got to please yourself.

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