I NEED HELP! 14 weeks 100% sober. Now I am planning to drink in my vacation.

[Scandinavian]

Ok so I have been completely sober for about 14 months now with the help of Antabuse. This is a huge thing and by far the longest I have ever been AF.


I feel great both mentally and psychologically, with my only real issues right now being overeating and oversleeping. (But anyway I both eat and sleep much healthier now than when I was drinking.)


Anyway, I am planning a vacation in about a few weeks time. This vacation will last for about two weeks, and it will be abroad. I will not bring Antabuse on this vacation, partly because I do not want my travel partner (future wife) to know about that I take "medication" for alcohol abuse.


This vacation will be a romantic vacation with just me and my future wife, and not a "drinking binge" vacation like when traveling with male friends.


My plan is to drink very moderately, and when I return from vacation have some "alone-time" evenings with just Al and me in front of YouTube, Spotify and some good TV-series. Then, after a maximum of three or four "alone-time" evenings, I will jump back on the Antabuse and stay AF for many months.


Now I know that I can bring Antabuse on the vacation, or also just don't drink. But my mindset now tells me that I will discontinue taking Antabuse three to four days prior to my vacation, and then drink as soon as I enter the airport.


How can I convince myself to just stay sober always? It seems so hard, as right now I am 100% sure that I will stick to the plan and drink.

[Siren136]

I NEED HELP! 14 weeks 100% sober. Now I am planning to drink in my vacation.

Why? I haven't heard you give one good reason, to be honest. Your fiance hasn't seen you drink yet - why should you do so on vacation? What about the next vacation? Doesn't sound like a good plan.

And WTF with the alone time? Again - why?

And why would you come onto a website for alcoholics and tell us this?

I'm not trying to be harsh, but I'm only 2 days sober and 14 weeks seems like an unimaginable dream. Why would you want to throw that away? I'm sorry - I need to go cry right now that you would throw all that away. Good luck to you, whatever you do.

[techie]

I NEED HELP! 14 weeks 100% sober. Now I am planning to drink in my vacation.

I do hear you. However, I'm finding myself REALLY enjoying vacation and weekend getaways alcohol free. I once thought that impossible. If I were you I'd give it a try. You've made a significant inroad to living without alcohol. Fourteen weeks is a long time. I wish you all the best whatever you decide.

[Byrdlady]

I NEED HELP! 14 weeks 100% sober. Now I am planning to drink in my vacation.

I went back and grabbed your first post here on MWO:

years of increased drinking, now I'm sober since november 3.rd 2009

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thats right, november 3.rd is tomorrow, but I'm starting on Antabuse so SCREW YOU ALCOHOL, YOU CAN'T TOUCH ME NOW HAHA!

Wish me luck! Now I'm going to drink beer and feel sick tomorrow morning for the last time in a while.

If you are on Antabuse also I'd like to hear from you. End quote.


You've been fighting this for quite a while now, wouldn't you say? You had 6 years of increased drinking back in 2009...went on Antabuse for AL abuse...and you are considering MODERATION? What makes you think that anything has changed with your relationship with AL? More self aware? More information? I'm sorry to say that your relationship with AL is as good today as it's ever going to be. If you think you can turn it on and off like a switch, then you wouldn't be here, would you? THAT IS THE PROBLEM, we can't just turn it on and off. For many, it takes years to get back on track.
I would ask you to look in that mirror and stop bullshitting yourself. Plus, I don't think it's fair to not level with your fianc?. I'd be plenty PO'd if my fianc? kept something like that from me....because THIS is a big one. This is a lifelong party and you got an invitation. This involves her, too. If I married you and you didn't tell me about this...I'd wonder what else you hadn't told me. Trust would be undermined severely.

Protect your quit at all costs. Enjoying your vacation does not have to revolved around AL....it's the time that you spend, not what's in your glass.

I would ask you to just spend some time READING around on this site...really do the homework, and see how many people can moderate. If you do the leg work, you will see that precious few (if any) can do it. You are fooling yourself if you think you can turn back the hands of addiction. That's part of the insanity of it, when we keep doing the same things and expecting a different outcome. The very idea of moderating doesn't even make sense....because what happens to us after we have one or 2 drinks? We lose our control...our inhibitions...we have another and another....how can this possibly work? How can you become a normal drinker when you are not one? You can't.
Sorry to throw this out, but I see a lot of RED FLAGS in this plan. Good luck in whatever you decide. Byrdie

[Scandinavian]

I NEED HELP! 14 weeks 100% sober. Now I am planning to drink in my vacation.

Siren: thanks for the reply. I wish you all the best on your journey to stay AF. Have you tried Antabuse by the way? I know it sounds like I get paid for talking about Antabuse, but for me it just is too good to be true. Without it I would have never managed 14 weeks AF. And the last month or so have been really really good and easy!

techie: thanks. I want to try AF vacation, but just not right now.

Byrdlady: I am flattered that you took the time to dig into my past. It does seem that I have some problems with alcohol. However, I am not planning on moderation, I am planning on drinking for a few weeks, and then getting "back on the 'bus" (i.e. the Antabus). As for being sincere about my "previous" somewhat unhealthy alcohol habits, I do agree with you that I should be more open about it. However, I am on my 14'th or so week AF now, so I really don't feel the need to start explaining about it if she does not bring it up.


I am very happy from the support I get here, but I often feel that only other Antabuse-users can understand me.

[Siren136]

I NEED HELP! 14 weeks 100% sober. Now I am planning to drink in my vacation.

Scandanavian - Your thread title says "I NEED HELP!" But I don't think you really want it.

I am not on Antabuse, but I have ordered it (not arrived) and I intend to be on it for a short time and try to go off it and stay AF on my own. I don't want to be on it forever, but I will be if I can't do it on my own. I don't intend to use it to allow myself drinking holidays, knowing I can always go back on it. I'm sure your doctor would not be happy if he/she knew.

I'm sorry I reacted the way I did but your post really affected me emotionally. I have been struggling for so long and to see you just throwing it away and waving it in my face didn't feel fair. You want help or you don't. I hope you make the right choice.

[Sunbeam]

I NEED HELP! 14 weeks 100% sober. Now I am planning to drink in my vacation.

I have had two perfectly delightful vacations without alcohol. I remember past vacations when I drank too much. The recent af ones were more pleasant. I know for certain that if I drank I would not stop at one or two glasses. Hundreds of times I told myself that I would only have a couple, then I kept drinking. I finally accepted that I am very good at not drinking and bad at stopping once I start. Maybe some day you will also accept this reality, it sounds like you aren't ready yet.

[Change]

I NEED HELP! 14 weeks 100% sober. Now I am planning to drink in my vacation.

I did roughly the same thing. Notched up 8 weeks sober (which is good for me), felt fantastic to the point of not wanting alcohol or thinking about it, only to go on a short holiday and drink with a heavy drinker friend of mine. The friend did not respect my decision to quit, instead citing that "everything in moderation" is okay (really? Is it now? Not for me it's not), not that blaming him as i'd made a conscious decision to drink. And i certainly didn't intend on drinking so much and so often. In the end i was drinking to cope with the whole situation and myself. NOT A GOOD THING!

When i came home, it took me two weeks to finally feel like i had gotten the stuff out of my system and that my thinking patterns had returned to normal and healthy / rational. But, i never did quite recover from that weekend. For the past few weeks i have struggled to get that fantastic motivation and non-dependance on alcohol that i'd achieved before i went on that holiday.

Last weekend, i decided that all the stress in my life is too much and decided to buy a bottle of wine. I did the same last night. Although i woke up this morning realising that i need to start my 30 days again (and feeling more motivated to do it), i never did feel like i recovered from compromising my resolve.

Anyway, my message to you is to think very carefully about it before you do it. I'm not sure what you're actually going to get out of it to be honest

[DriftyAlison0]

I NEED HELP! 14 weeks 100% sober. Now I am planning to drink in my vacation.

I tried to moderate and failed. With that mindset, you will fail. What about the next vacation? Do this vacation af and do tell your gf that you do take medication to help you not drink. If she leaves you, then tough luck on her part. True love will prevail it and if you drink, you will regret it. ODAAT! And stay on the antabuse. Worst comes to worst, cancel the vacation till your ready.

[Frequent Traveler]

I NEED HELP! 14 weeks 100% sober. Now I am planning to drink in my vacation.

I really want to say something smart but I must honestly say that I am speechless, 14 weeks and out the window it goes???
I myself can not moderate so I choose not to drink, it just isn't for me anymore. I have now gone 92 days and I love each and every day that I have woken up healthy feeling great, I have been on holiday and admit that it was not easy to pass the airport bar where I was usually a regular - But I love my life today and I will not lose my sobriety for anyone or anything as is mentioned here above by another member.
FT

[bettygirl]

I NEED HELP! 14 weeks 100% sober. Now I am planning to drink in my vacation.

why are you lying to your future wife?

[nicelife]

I NEED HELP! 14 weeks 100% sober. Now I am planning to drink in my vacation.

I ALWAYS get a real shock when I see someone here who has marked up an amazing amount of AF time (and you have) making a conscious decision to drink again. I lean close to the screen, reading slowly to see if I'm reallllllly reading what I'm reading.

We each have our own journey, and we must honour other their's.......but I'm sad you're planning on drinking. I could NOT take another day one - and I've only had TWO!!!

I too would look forward to 'alone' time with a bottle and tv.....it took no time at all for my life to be one continous, bottle fuelled 'alone' time. Can't remember much about the tv!!!!

It really is a matter for each one of us to decide how we want our life to be. I've decided, and nothing will change my mind.....n.o.t.h.i.n.g!

If you can manage the beast you're one tough cookie........

Best of luck Scands.

[red67]

I NEED HELP! 14 weeks 100% sober. Now I am planning to drink in my vacation.

There is a reason they say you should not get into a relationship until you have been sober for a year. You go thru so many changes and you do not truly know your sober self fully until you have gotten sober for a long time(honestly it has taken me two years).For a truly healthy relationship you need to know who you are without alcohol. If you want a real relationship that will last you need to do it without the alcohol. There is NO good reason to drink, it will not strengthen or enhance your relationship with your girlfriend.

Not sure if you are really ready for this, only you will know that. I wish you the best but I fear that you have made up your mind to drink no matter what.

[nicelife]

I NEED HELP! 14 weeks 100% sober. Now I am planning to drink in my vacation.

BTW - my second day one WAS the hardest thing I've ever done......

[red67]

I NEED HELP! 14 weeks 100% sober. Now I am planning to drink in my vacation.

Nicelife, that is exactly why I have chosen to never have a second day one. I was lucky to do this on my first quit and I have protected this quit with everything I know. I dont know how people find the strength to do more than one quit. My quit was SO hard and took 4 years to finally accomplish after drinking daily and very heavily for 10 years. I begged, pleaded and prayed for anyway to quit, I could never find the courage do it until one VERY bad experience finally woke me up. Once I quit I knew it had to be forever, no excuses, no drinking no matter what. I can't even fully describe how much better life is. I only wish I could help other people understand, but we all have our own journey and ultimately my quit is the most important. Sounds selfish but we have to protect our sobriety at all costs. Never used to make senss to me ( even when I had been sober for a year) now at two years sober I understand.