I NEED HELP! 14 weeks 100% sober. Now I am planning to drink in my vacation.

[Turnagain]

I NEED HELP! 14 weeks 100% sober. Now I am planning to drink in my vacation.

Byrdlady;1487177 wrote: Wow, this is like watching a bad film....we all know the outcome. Your 'somewhat unhealthy alcohol habits' are called ALCOHOLISM, and you don't just 'get over it'.

We are basically all screaming...WATCH OUT!!!!! Here's the unvarnished truth: Your body can't take a vacation from alcohol dependence. You may see this as a quick break from being AF but every drink you take damages you more.

You are asking for some sort of approval for this plan to dump more toxic drugs into your body? Not gonna get that here. Every drink damages your brain. Every drink damages your liver. Every drink damages your pancreas. Every drink damages your heart.

We don't get away with anything. Our body keeps score. Every drink damages. Every time.

Beyond the physical damage....drinking will NEVER give you what you're looking for. I only found that mind peace and happiness by freeing myself of this soul-destroying addiction.

AF vacations are truly spectacular.

Oh....and...there is nothing romantic about a sloshy, sloppy, drooling boyfriend who can't crank the wank cause he's blacked out. Oh - and did I mention that drinking shrinks your amygdala and other things?

I truly hope you reconsider. This vacation can be a great turning point for you in living the life you want and deserve.

[kuya]

I NEED HELP! 14 weeks 100% sober. Now I am planning to drink in my vacation.

Whatever happens I will remember that I learned the expression 'crank the wank' here, from you Turn ! :H:H:H

I shall be using it at every opportunity

[Zenstyle]

I NEED HELP! 14 weeks 100% sober. Now I am planning to drink in my vacation.

Warning... thread hijack!!!

I am going to say something here... I see folk on MWO wading in with both feet and giving advice like it is warranted and irreproachable... in fact, I've been watching this phenomena for years now, and it's finally started to dawn on me that we should be a bit more forgiving of others paths... and we CERTAINLY shouldn't behave like "know-it'alls"!

It's just a small point... but giving advice is one thing, sounding like it's your way or the highway is another. And that has been cropping up on threads a lot of late.

For those of you that don't know me, please don't be fooled by my thread count! The powers that be very nicely erased my posts over an issue a while back. My post count would be close to 30,000 (horrifically enough) and I have been around here long enough to see, and know, a thing or two. So HUMILITY people... it will serve you well. Keep your eyes on your own path and don't waste too much time commenting on others...

[kuya]

I NEED HELP! 14 weeks 100% sober. Now I am planning to drink in my vacation.

Zenny.......if you entitle your thread ' I NEED HELP.......' You are hardly looking for chat and discussion.

Actually, when I reread this I wonder if HELP was the real intention at all, perhaps it was merely to be CONTENTIOUS.

Over to you Scand., why ask for help when you are already resolved to drinking......seems weird now I really look at it

[Zenstyle]

I NEED HELP! 14 weeks 100% sober. Now I am planning to drink in my vacation.

Dear Kuya,

Said it before and will say it again... you get too involved! Take that energy... and focus on you... Said with love... XXX

Yes, "I need help" is a bit of an amber alert! LOL! I honestly think he is fine, I think he's brainstorming and looking for insights... which is all right I guess, except that some folk can't even have one drink and I sometimes think I shouldn't even discuss AL on the boards... if yer know what I mean.

[kuya]

I NEED HELP! 14 weeks 100% sober. Now I am planning to drink in my vacation.

Zenstyle;1487725 wrote: Dear Kuya,

Said it before and will say it again... you get too involved! Take that energy... and focus on you... Said with love... XXX

Yes, "I need help" is a bit of an amber alert! LOL! I honestly think he is fine, I think he's brainstorming and looking for insights... which is all right I guess, except that some folk can't even have one drink and I sometimes think I shouldn't even discuss AL on the boards... if yer know what I mean.

.......... In what way am I too involved ?????? Like everyone else posting on this thread or on this forum I am voicing my opinion. If I don't voice my opinion then I might as well leave. ????

I have quit drinking, repaired relationships, gotten fit ( fitter than my 13 year old..... Much to her chagrin), lost 12 kg, and quit smoking, read extensively, spend quality time with my family and work hard..........can I really focus MORE on me ?????

[Zenstyle]

I NEED HELP! 14 weeks 100% sober. Now I am planning to drink in my vacation.

kuya;1487733 wrote: .......... In what way am I too involved ??????

I think you expend a lot of time on others. I TOLD you that already, in a PM... ages ago. It's not like it's bad or anything, just that you're not saving enough for yourself... in my humble opinion. And I see people in AA and therapy expending too much energy looking outwards instead of looking within. And I don't want that for you... :l:l:l

And... err... look at me awake and typing when I should be zonked out! So, nothing I'm not guilty of myself.

[gyco]

I NEED HELP! 14 weeks 100% sober. Now I am planning to drink in my vacation.

lifes decisions

Scandinavian;1486928 wrote: Ok so I have been completely sober for about 14 months now with the help of Antabuse. This is a huge thing and by far the longest I have ever been AF.


I feel great both mentally and psychologically, with my only real issues right now being overeating and oversleeping. (But anyway I both eat and sleep much healthier now than when I was drinking.)


Anyway, I am planning a vacation in about a few weeks time. This vacation will last for about two weeks, and it will be abroad. I will not bring Antabuse on this vacation, partly because I do not want my travel partner (future wife) to know about that I take "medication" for alcohol abuse.


This vacation will be a romantic vacation with just me and my future wife, and not a "drinking binge" vacation like when traveling with male friends.


My plan is to drink very moderately, and when I return from vacation have some "alone-time" evenings with just Al and me in front of YouTube, Spotify and some good TV-series. Then, after a maximum of three or four "alone-time" evenings, I will jump back on the Antabuse and stay AF for many months.


Now I know that I can bring Antabuse on the vacation, or also just don't drink. But my mindset now tells me that I will discontinue taking Antabuse three to four days prior to my vacation, and then drink as soon as I enter the airport.


How can I convince myself to just stay sober always? It seems so hard, as right now I am 100% sure that I will stick to the plan and drink.

hi Scan, lifes decisions,ive been where you are many times over 44 years,all these people have great points,i never had a drink for the 1st 16 years of my life,but i do no if i new what i new now i would never of started,its been a roller coaster life for 44 years,not just for me, but everyone around me,specially the one i said i Loved, my wife,14 weeks is not much different then 40 years sobriety it all takes 1 day at a time,the lady you care for has the rite to know,it took me 44 years to realize alls it takes is one drink,the 1st one and Hell usually is unleashed i wish you well but only you can make that decison:goodjob:

[kuya]

I NEED HELP! 14 weeks 100% sober. Now I am planning to drink in my vacation.

Zenstyle;1487740 wrote: I think you expend a lot of time on others. I TOLD you that already, in a PM... ages ago. It's not like it's bad or anything, just that you're not saving enough for yourself... in my humble opinion. And I see people in AA and therapy expending too much energy looking outwards instead of looking within. And I don't want that for you... :l:l:l

And... err... look at me awake and typing when I should be zonked out! So, nothing I'm not guilty of myself.

I have spent a lot of time looking within, really liked what I saw too, I am really a decent human being.

I know you have said this to me in PM but I am confused since I explained then that a lot of the time I spend here is valuable and social as I am a single parent.

I can't see how I spend any more time here than loads of folk, judging by their post numbers, and being involved is who I am. Chatting bores me.

[sugarbeat]

I NEED HELP! 14 weeks 100% sober. Now I am planning to drink in my vacation.

Zen, I don't know where all this is coming from, you're kinda judging others alot, and the thread is getting uncomfortable, whereas I thought it was about some dude with an alcohol problem who reckons he was going to drink again and the fact that he hadn't drank meant there was hope of sowing little seeds of doubt, maybe change his mind

[Zenstyle]

I NEED HELP! 14 weeks 100% sober. Now I am planning to drink in my vacation.

Perhaps I AM judging Sugarbeat. I've just spent 3 months in intensive addiction therapy so I'm a bit analytical I guess... so that's a good point and I acknowledge it. I'll keep an eye on it! Thanks... X

I don't think the thread should be considered as becoming "uncomfortable". We are all free thinking people with opinions and we all have something useful to impart, even when we don't realize it. Again, I've been brutally honest with myself recently so maybe I'm being TOO brutally honest with others now... but, really, I reckon that's what it takes sometimes.

You called is like you see it when you posted the above... so, really, we are both on the same page in that regard... n'est pas? )

It's all good Sugarbeat... and thanks for the heads up. I probably need to dial my emotions back... they are running high at the moment. I haven't really ventured out to other threads recently and I reckon I am going back to that modus operandi. It's safer that way!

[K9Lover]

I NEED HELP! 14 weeks 100% sober. Now I am planning to drink in my vacation.

Scandinavian;1487584 wrote:
3. These 14 weeks sober have shown me that my life is very good when I do not drink a single drop

So why do you want to change that?

Regarding the title of this thread, maybe you should have requested opinions intead of help, because you aren't really looking for help. Did you really think we'd say "Sure! Go ahead and drink on vacation...you'll be fine!!" :huh:

[Byrdlady]

I NEED HELP! 14 weeks 100% sober. Now I am planning to drink in my vacation.

I agree Sugar....this is a SUPPORT FORUM, Zen, so what do we do when we are asked for help? Just sit by and HOPE? I can speak for myself by saying that I do have time for myself, and I have time to give back to this forum. Thanks for your concern that some of us are overextending, but I'm doing just fine. Scan ASKED for our opinions and we gave him honest answers...this is not FaceBook, it's a support forum for alcohol addiction, I'm not going to enable somebody else who is battling the same disease I am. Byrdie

[Kradle123]

I NEED HELP! 14 weeks 100% sober. Now I am planning to drink in my vacation.

Scandinavian;1487584 wrote: First let me clarify that I have gone about 14 weeks AF, not months as I wrongfully wrote in the first post. I also wrote "I feel great both mentally and psychologically" which I now find pretty funny



Anyway, thanks for all your thoughts. I was pretty sure no one would support me in my pretty stupid "plan".


However, I believe it will work because:

1. Antabuse works so perfectly for me
2. I have great respect for alcohol, and
3. These 14 weeks sober have shown me that my life is very good when I do not drink a single drop


But as most of us here know, the ways of alcohol are inscrutable, and there are many x-factors in my "equation".

Hey Scan,

Gotta say that ' Stupid Plan' aside, what blew me right out of the water was that your fianc?...future wife has no idea what the hell is going on. :shocked:

That's your REAL Recipe for disaster...lieing to yourself ...lieing To her...

Sorry I am harsh; I have limited data but you did open that door. :l

[Zenstyle]

I NEED HELP! 14 weeks 100% sober. Now I am planning to drink in my vacation.

OK... I've been sitting on this since the site got back up and running. I PM'd this to Byrdie, but didn't hear back from her... so I presume it's OK for me to post it.

Byrdlady;1487868 wrote: I agree Sugar....this is a SUPPORT FORUM, Zen, so what do we do when we are asked for help? Just sit by and HOPE? I can speak for myself by saying that I do have time for myself, and I have time to give back to this forum. Thanks for your concern that some of us are overextending, but I'm doing just fine. Scan ASKED for our opinions and we gave him honest answers...this is not FaceBook, it's a support forum for alcohol addiction, I'm not going to enable somebody else who is battling the same disease I am. Byrdie

Why did you delete this post Byrdie? I couldn?t respond to it yesterday as the site was down, so I saved it plus the start of my response.

First off, I didn?t even mention your name, so why did you think I was criticizing you? You saying that you are doing ?just fine? makes me wonder if you are not. And if you're not "fine" I will be more than happy to lend an ear in that regard. Secondly, as one woman to another, I request that you not belittle me. I KNOW the difference between a support forum and Facebook and I did not suggest that people should be enabled. What I have taken from your comments is that you think I use this site like Facebook and I am in the habit of enabling people. Considering the fact that I?ve just been through rehab and three months of intensive addiction therapy, that really hurts my feelings. Rather badly actually.

Now that I am feeling suitably attacked, here is what I think? without the sugar coating.

(1) Some people on this site remind me of the old timers in AA that think they have cornered the market on all things addiction related. And I think that could be potentially dangerous. I?ve seen what is going on out there. My rehab room mate was in a 72 hour lock down (suicide attempt), followed by detox, followed by rehab, followed by a half way house, followed by her kids taken away because she drove drunk with them in the car. I was pitifully unequipped to deal with that. I did what I could and stood by her (financially and otherwise) till last Friday when she went home. I am a lightweight Byrdie... you might be too... in fact I HOPE you are. And I'm GLAD I am. The people I'm dealing with now in real life are not though, and I reckon that we all need to be aware of how precarious some people?s situations are. And we shouldn?t think we know everything? we don?t. I?m including myself in the statement, I?m not singling you or anyone else out? this is a blanket statement that includes all of us. WE (you, me, Kuya, everyone) are not professionals. Reaching out and sponsoring is definitely a humane and helpful thing to do but I HONESTLY THINK that we (all of us) need to remember that there are people out there that need much more than we can give... and therefore we shouldn't be too assured that our advice is golden. Support is good. Leading someone in desperate need to believe that this is their lifeline is potentially dangerous. End of. We?ve had suicide on this site in the past, and it left all of us feeling awful. People can blindside you? you think they are ?getting it? and pulling themselves together? and then something like that happens and it pulls the rug out from under you. I know, not a great topic of conversation.

(2) The therapists have drummed it into me? ?Don?t take your eyes off your own problems and put them on someone else?s. That is a house built on sand.? I?ve been there, done that, and got the t-shirt? hence my concern that some people might be re-focusing energy they need for themselves.

Back to your post. Personally, I think the way you conduct yourself is fine (apart from deleting your post and telling me I?m an idiot that doesn?t know the difference between Facebook and a support forum lol!). I totally get the fact that you are giving back to the community and that?s to be applauded. Kudos to you Byrdie? sincerely? XXX

Like I posted to Sugarbeat... this is MY issue and I should just govern myself accordingly. Maybe I should stick to the Army thread and not venture forth on the boards. And maybe that is exactly what I will go back to doing now. I have to say though? the camaraderie and behind-the-scenes support on the Army is phenomenal. It might look like we?re just chit chatting but it goes a lot deeper than that. Not like Facebook at all, really. More like a support forum! Lol? ;o) Sorry? I am a sarcastic one at times!

One thing that people on here don?t know about me is that, unless it?s a crisis situation, it takes quite a bit to make me stand up and speak out? it?s something I have to make myself do? set boundaries. So there is a very good chance that I come across strongly? kind of like the guys in the gym that are lifting more weight than they should and grunting! Ugh! Plus, I like the written word and that might be intimidating too. So if I?ve made you feel bullied, I apologize. I?m learning to be a new ?me? and it isn?t very straightforward. Work in progress, for sure. But I do need to set the record straight, after reading your post.