I NEED HELP! 14 weeks 100% sober. Now I am planning to drink in my vacation.

[Turnagain]

I NEED HELP! 14 weeks 100% sober. Now I am planning to drink in my vacation.

Scan....you out there?

[gyco]

I NEED HELP! 14 weeks 100% sober. Now I am planning to drink in my vacation.

Scan you out there ? interesting comment , the conversation went from i need help to yes , bashing others opinions ? by the way we are not specialists or are we,many of us seek help from people who we think are the know it all in the field of addiction,family doctors,psychiatrists , therapists and the list goes on,and many of these people havent a clue other then reading about it,and seeing the damage drinking,drugs overeating and yes the list goes on,does in someone s life,yes we have to be suttle in our approach but we also have to be firm,i like Zen went thro intensive therapy,5 years ago,it took 5 years for it to sink in,no one knows this thing addiction better then we do,as i said earlier Scan it is all up to you on what you do,but remember all it takes is that one drink, again i wish you well

[Captainjack]

I NEED HELP! 14 weeks 100% sober. Now I am planning to drink in my vacation.

Great post gyco long time no see. I used to hate the sober ones who constantly persisted in projecting their you HAVE to do it my way . And bloody hell they have every right they suffered fought an won. But and a big one I think Nancy and Zen are on the right approach ..HUMILITY..as alchys we have damaged egos ... Getting sober requires immense courage and conviction ..So this guy wants to be sober but not completely shut the window ..OK ..and if it fails so be it. Moralising about lying to he future wife FFS ..you don't know him intimately or his future wife ..geez. H e came here yes I need help ..we all need to be able to bounce ideas off others . It all helps let's not be Zealots ..getting sober as we all seem to agree is a bumpy road and we have to accept that alcohol can be consumed in a functional way reality bites, whatever the stats, alcoholics are like all substance abusers a minority thats why they ignore us. And before someone ones spits out voluminous statistics to prove me wrong I bet they and you are right but in the thousands not millions in our own minds . We are problem drinkers and alcoholics yes indeedy their are lots and lots of people that aren't ok and can live fruitful lives while they be drinkers problem or otherwise....take the blinkers off and relax and dont be a moralist.

AND above all never forget we loved drinking to excess constantly and where we came from!!!!! so some of us we got better. But at some stage there is a bit of Scandinavians thoughts in all of us problematic alcohol abusers..don't get to cocky that's all I am trying to say. And I think there is a lot of inverted self projection going on here .be care full of your own thoughts as Zenn suggested.

You can never bludgeon some one in to accepting they are on the wrong path whatever it may be. Be a a good friend hold the hand and show love and give youre view . BUT in the end you have to let that hand go and wish then luck and love. We have own own constant battles!

Right ill bugger off ..where is Green Eyes ? miss her there is a sober person I'm talking about lovely person big Huggs greenie if you are out there.

[Zenstyle]

I NEED HELP! 14 weeks 100% sober. Now I am planning to drink in my vacation.

Gyco and Captainjack... thank you! Two great posts and I'm glad someone "gets" what I'm saying.

Yep... humility is key. If you don't get humble, and you don't get honest, you don't get anywhere! I like what the therapists say about it being a house built on sand... and without the humility and honesty that is exactly what one is looking at.

Green Eyes is doing really well Captainjack, I see her over on Facebook from time to time and her life is to her liking... )

I don't think Scandinavian is in a crisis situation. He's sober and discussing having a drink on his holidays. It's not a 911 moment in my opinion. And, really, if he wants to test the waters by drinking then it is not up to any one of us... it is his decision. I can't say I'm in favour of him lying to his partner but... again... not my call.

I'm sorry I've hijacked his thread, but not sorry that I said my piece. It's been coming for some time. My PM box has been blown up by people saying thank you for speaking on our behalf. Not everyone wants to do it exactly how others think they should. And, really, most of the people on this site are adults and they deserve to be able to make their own choices without it being frowned upon.

[kuya]

I NEED HELP! 14 weeks 100% sober. Now I am planning to drink in my vacation.

kuya;1487733 wrote: .......... In what way am I too involved ?????? Like everyone else posting on this thread or on this forum I am voicing my opinion. If I don't voice my opinion then I might as well leave. ????

I have quit drinking, repaired relationships, gotten fit ( fitter than my 13 year old..... Much to her chagrin), lost 12 kg, and quit smoking, read extensively, spend quality time with my family and work hard..........can I really focus MORE on me ?????

Perhaps you missed this response Zen, I fail to see how I could be working more on myself.

I read and concur with many different aspects of arguments but still don't understand why you feel it necessary to advise me, for the second time, to tend to myself ( effectively to mind my own business).

You have had three months of therapy. I had four years. So what? At the end of the day it comes down to what was learned.

I still don't understand why you have such concern for MY welfare, in particular. I spend a lot of time here, as we have discussed in PM, but I spend plenty of time on my own personal growth and development. I am grateful for your concern but don't understand why it is aimed at me in particular. I do not feel I am neglecting myself in any way.

There have been a couple of times when your personal support would have been appreciated e.g. When crap kicked off and I was personally attacked by a drunk member, yet I did not hear from you.

[Struggles 106]

I NEED HELP! 14 weeks 100% sober. Now I am planning to drink in my vacation.

WTF?

What a nasty person you are. People who are content wuth themselves don't feel the need to attatck and criticize others. My cat? The poor creature?
Clearly you need more therapy.

[Zenstyle]

I NEED HELP! 14 weeks 100% sober. Now I am planning to drink in my vacation.

kuya;1488357 wrote: Perhaps you missed this response Zen, I fail to see how I could be working more on myself.

I read and concur with many different aspects of arguments but still don't understand why you feel it necessary to advise me, for the second time, to tend to myself ( effectively to mind my own business).

You have had three months of therapy. I had four years. So what? At the end of the day it comes down to what was learned.

I still don't understand why you have such concern for MY welfare, in particular. I spend a lot of time here, as we have discussed in PM, but I spend plenty of time on my own personal growth and development. I am grateful for your concern but don't understand why it is aimed at me in particular. I do not feel I am neglecting myself in any way.

There have been a couple of times when your personal support would have been appreciated e.g. When crap kicked off and I was personally attacked by a drunk member, yet I did not hear from you.

Hiya Kuya,

Well... honestly... the concern for your wellfare is because you gave me advice about Hamish, so I've kind of felt I owe you a bit of thoughtfulness for that. You took time out to help me, and it was, and still is, much appreciated.

I wasn't around when you got "assaulted" by whoever it was. And I honestly don't know who it was either. All I heard about it was after the fact when Jackie mentioned it to me. Had I seen it... well, I probably would have supported you. I'm sorry that you feel like you weren't given back up, and I hope it turned out OK in the end. You can PM me if you want.

And, in the interests of honesty... You advise people a lot on their issues, so why should I not give you my feedback about yourself? Maybe I'm being a bit brutal... because I get picked apart by so many people on a regular basis in group therapy... but I think my input is valid. Actually, I KNOW my input is valid.

And, again in the interests of honesty, I started therapy over 10 years ago. It's been a "maintenance" situation until this last bout of intensive sessions.

I just see a lot of people on the boards being too afraid to be themselves for fear of recrimination. And it bothers me. When I was tits up in a bottle I couldn't give a rat's arse, but now I do. MWO is support for me... it's there even when I'm not posting and I carry all my buddies around with me all the time in my head (and heart)... and I don't like to see people being submissive and afraid to voice their opinions and follow their own paths.

[Zenstyle]

I NEED HELP! 14 weeks 100% sober. Now I am planning to drink in my vacation.

Ann Carolina;1488380 wrote: What a nasty person you are. People who are content wuth themselves don't feel the need to attatck and criticize others. My cat? The poor creature?
Clearly you need more therapy.

LOL! Yes, you are totally correct... I need a LOT more therapy!!! :H :new:

Honestly, it's a wee cat. And you were going to get rid of it. Jingos, one of mine breaks things on a regular basis, he's a wee monster! (Hamish, Kuya...) ) So, as an animal lover, it bothered me. There ya go. This honesty thing is really good... I'm starting to like it!

[BHOG]

I NEED HELP! 14 weeks 100% sober. Now I am planning to drink in my vacation.

ok, I am officially out of this thread.

[Caper]

I NEED HELP! 14 weeks 100% sober. Now I am planning to drink in my vacation.

Oh please... get over yourself...

[Zenstyle]

I NEED HELP! 14 weeks 100% sober. Now I am planning to drink in my vacation.

Caper... you're taking a genuine discussion and breaking it down to name calling.

I'm out.

[Turnagain]

I NEED HELP! 14 weeks 100% sober. Now I am planning to drink in my vacation.

Scan...you out there?

[Scandinavian]

I NEED HELP! 14 weeks 100% sober. Now I am planning to drink in my vacation.

Hello everybody, and thanks for the many thoughts you have shared


I am still sober, and discontinued my Antabuse today. I still don't feel like drinking, but when I get to the airport I know that will change fast. (I think airports are designed specifically to encourage drinking.)

What I really was hoping for with this thread was for someone to convince me to have my vacation sober. I knew that would not be easy, as I had pretty much made up my mind.


My plan is to try to moderate my drinking. Now I know what you're thinking. If I could do that then I wouldn't even be on this forum, but I have so much respect for AL now that I think I might be able to restrain myself a little bit.


Part two of my plan is to get back on "The 'Bus" a few days after I get home. I will buy lots of candy, do strenuous exercise (jogging or cycling) and watch many TV-series the first few days sober as they probably will provide little sleep.


So what more can I say? I'll keep you updated on how my vacation went when I get back home!

[Siren136]

I NEED HELP! 14 weeks 100% sober. Now I am planning to drink in my vacation.

Scan, if you want to moderate, please take it to the mods forum. Or the meds forum. Don't put it in general discussion, please.

Best of luck. I hope you are successful. I just don't want to hear about it right now. I hope you understand.

[kuya]

I NEED HELP! 14 weeks 100% sober. Now I am planning to drink in my vacation.

Zenstyle;1488470 wrote: Hiya Kuya,

Well... honestly... the concern for your wellfare is because you gave me advice about Hamish, so I've kind of felt I owe you a bit of thoughtfulness for that.

And, in the interests of honesty... You advise people a lot on their issues, so why should I not give you my feedback about yourself? Maybe I'm being a bit brutal... because I get picked apart by so many people on a regular basis in group therapy... but I think my input is valid. Actually, I KNOW my input is valid.

So because I gave you advice on your cat you felt the need to keep telling me to 'butt out' and 'mind my own business' ?

Because I 'advise people a lot on their issues' I NEED your feedback?

REALLY ????