I NEED HELP! 14 weeks 100% sober. Now I am planning to drink in my vacation.

[K9Lover]

I NEED HELP! 14 weeks 100% sober. Now I am planning to drink in my vacation.

Zenstyle;1488085 wrote: First off, I didn?t even mention your name, so why did you think I was criticizing you? You saying that you are doing ?just fine? makes me wonder if you are not. And if you're not "fine" I will be more than happy to lend an ear in that regard. Secondly, as one woman to another, I request that you not belittle me. I KNOW the difference between a support forum and Facebook and I did not suggest that people should be enabled. What I have taken from your comments is that you think I use this site like Facebook and I am in the habit of enabling people. Considering the fact that I?ve just been through rehab and three months of intensive addiction therapy, that really hurts my feelings. Rather badly actually.

To me it looked like she was just making a random comparison, not saying you are an idiot that can't tell the difference between a forum and FB. But boy, you sure took it personal and ran with it. Wow.

[Siren136]

I NEED HELP! 14 weeks 100% sober. Now I am planning to drink in my vacation.

My biggest complaint about this thread (after having some time to think about it) is its placement. I think it should be in the meds forum or the mods forum. That's all. I'm struggling and it really whacked me upside my head and frankly put some bad ideas in there that weren't there before. I don't want other newbies to think that all they need to do is go on and off a drug and they can drink when they want and be fine. This doesn't belong under General Discussion IMHO.

[Glass Half Empty]

I NEED HELP! 14 weeks 100% sober. Now I am planning to drink in my vacation.

Scandinavian;1486928 wrote:
My plan is .... when I return from vacation have some "alone-time" evenings with just Al and me in front of YouTube, Spotify and some good TV-series.

So, you want to take alcohol along on a romantic vacation with your fiancee and then ditch your real life lover so you and alcohol can spend time alone.

It sounds as though the two of you have a very intimate relationship, and I'm not talking about you and your fiancee! There's clearly three of you in that relationship and that's generally one too many.

[Zenstyle]

I NEED HELP! 14 weeks 100% sober. Now I am planning to drink in my vacation.

Niner... I take it all personally when I'm being attacked these days. End of story. I'm being built up by professionals, and it hasn't been easy, and I am going to make these women (therapists) proud of me.

So take yer "wow" elsewhere my dear... I am not interested. Real things, real comments, insights... the stuff one can grab onto interests me. Pithy nonsense does not.

Like I tried to depict in my post, this is not a playground. It's real and I sure as shit do not need to be Miss Popular. I couldn't give a crap about that. I am me, happy to be me, and I have a damn opinion whether you like that or not.

I absolutely expected to be under fire when I responded to Byrdie. After all, she is an extremely popular member of the MWO community. But... please people, don't waste your time. If I don't know you, your comments are like water off a duck's back. And that is that!

[Zenstyle]

I NEED HELP! 14 weeks 100% sober. Now I am planning to drink in my vacation.

K9Lover;1488107 wrote: To me it looked like she was just making a random comparison, not saying you are an idiot that can't tell the difference between a forum and FB. But boy, you sure took it personal and ran with it. Wow.

What IS a random comparison exactly?

I'm quite irritated with people that lord it over others, as you can see.

[nancy]

I NEED HELP! 14 weeks 100% sober. Now I am planning to drink in my vacation.

who are the responses for?

I don't think the responses are really for Scandinavian. It sounds like people are deathly afraid they themselves will start drinking again, so they attack Scandinavian for proposing the idea for himself. They don't want themselves to think it's ok. If if was for Scandiavian I don't think you would attack him.

It's his business when to tell his fiancee. You can suggest the pitfalls of that. But where is your distance?

Scandinavian is thinking of doing something that's a pitfall of some medications. I remember some people posting a while back that they would take naltrexone and it would work but they would give themselves a day off here and there. It sounds like Scandinavian's motives are that he wants to drink again but also he doesn't want his fiancee to think he can't have one on a vacation. There's a lot of shame related to drinking.

[Zenstyle]

I NEED HELP! 14 weeks 100% sober. Now I am planning to drink in my vacation.

LOL!

Thank you Nancy!

It's just a bunch of people giving out unwarranted advice like they know what the hell they are talking about... and it is now on my last nerve!

I know we need to be careful in case there is a desperate person amongst us. That is paramount. But, after that, puhleeze... like I need to listen to that nonsense?

I'm not afraid of drinking by the way... lol... it went in the other direction funnily enough. I am fine with having booze around me now. The alcohol wasn't the problem... it was me.

[Zenstyle]

I NEED HELP! 14 weeks 100% sober. Now I am planning to drink in my vacation.

And, yeah, it is fine for the guy to conduct his life as he sees fit... FFS!

[Glass Half Empty]

I NEED HELP! 14 weeks 100% sober. Now I am planning to drink in my vacation.

Zenstyle;1488124 wrote:
It's just a bunch of people giving out unwarranted advice like they know what the hell they are talking about...

Intriguing. So what is the correct response then, when someone prefaces a post with "I NEED HELP" on a support forum?

[Zenstyle]

I NEED HELP! 14 weeks 100% sober. Now I am planning to drink in my vacation.

Glass Half Empty;1488133 wrote: Intriguing. So what is the correct response then, when someone prefaces a post with "I NEED HELP" on a support forum?

For me... I look at the background. If it's a real call for help (i.e. suicide) then I would do what I did before when that happened... on MWO. Been there, done it.

Really... Glass... you are looking at a woman that is coming into her own... WHY do you feel that you need to mess with me? This is another thing these women have taught me... there is a great stability amongst women as long as we behave lovingly towards each other.

In any event, I am getting bored now! My point remains the same. Some people on this forum talk like they know everything and I am bored and irritated with it. Actually, worse, I see through it.

[nancy]

I NEED HELP! 14 weeks 100% sober. Now I am planning to drink in my vacation.

how to respond

I think the response should be to keep the poster's well-being in mind and some distance, not to make it all about you. You can suggest the dangers of what he/she is about to do but it should be done in a constructive way. Just my opinion. In this you could say that sometimes it's the craving talking you into a medication vacation and suggest posting on the meds forum asking what happens when you go off for just a little while. Not to moralize and suggest he's a horrible boyfriend. OR maybe suggest he try a different med? Something useful, not moralizing to make yourself feel better.

[Zenstyle]

I NEED HELP! 14 weeks 100% sober. Now I am planning to drink in my vacation.

nancy;1488145 wrote: I think the response should be to keep the poster's well-being in mind and some distance, not to make it all about you. You can suggest the dangers of what he/she is about to do but it should be done in a constructive way. Just my opinion. In this you could say that sometimes it's the craving talking you into a medication vacation and suggest posting on the meds forum asking what happens when you go off for just a little while. Not to moralize and suggest he's a horrible boyfriend. OR maybe suggest he try a different med? Something useful, not moralizing to make yourself feel better.

Amen sister. And THAT is what I was saying. Thanks Nancy... :l You say it better than me!

[Struggles 106]

I NEED HELP! 14 weeks 100% sober. Now I am planning to drink in my vacation.

You are astonishingly FAR from the concept of Zen

[Zenstyle]

I NEED HELP! 14 weeks 100% sober. Now I am planning to drink in my vacation.

Emmm.... you are astonishingly far from the concept of Ann Carolina. ??? Whatever the heck that denotes. Jim Texas! lol That has a ring to it!

Look... I really don't care one way or the other. The way I feel right now, I could walk away with my head held high. I am totally fed up with apologizing for being me.

I don't need your approval A/C. And I hope that poor cat of yours is OK!!! It's been bothering me since the first time I read about that poor creature.

The days of Zenny apologizing are over. Done. I have a very soft spot in me for the MWO people but it shouldn't be about me APOLOGIZING about myself.

p.s. I have a Bachelors in interior design hence the Zenstyle. It's not the OMMM type Zen!

[Zenstyle]

I NEED HELP! 14 weeks 100% sober. Now I am planning to drink in my vacation.

p.s. Maybe Gangham Style would be more appropriate?! lol