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    #16
    Escaping bad friendship?

    Everyone keeps calling me a victim but i dont feel like that... i feel like its just a really shitty situation.. and i dont think he relizes im feeling trapped, because i havent told him we arent friends anymore, so hes just acting like were still friends.... im just too non confrontational... somehow i agreed to take him grocery shopping tomorrow..... what is wrong with me????

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      #17
      Escaping bad friendship?

      young at heart has great suggestions. you can't be fired for any of this stuff, you have rights.

      maybe this "friend" is a lesson in life that you are just going to have to go through...all the best.
      10-06-2012

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        #18
        Escaping bad friendship?

        Hold the stage for just a minute.
        Sweetie, if you are in the US you may have a case; if you are out of US, I have no clue.
        If you are in US. you need to talk to state department of labor. This is an unsafe work environment.
        Please seek assistance from DOL.
        BHOG

        ?Alcohol removes inhibitions - like that scared little mouse who got drunk and shook his whiskers and shouted: "Now bring on that damn cat!"-Eleanor Early

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          #19
          Escaping bad friendship?

          sweetie78;1487507 wrote: I cant end the relationship though, is what I am trying to say, at least, if I did end the relationship I honestly believe I could lose my job. Where I work if people talk enough shit they will fire you. and I have debt. It sucks because I got him the job too. And I dont think he's a control freak, I just think he's completely unaware of other people, if I say no to this bar invite it will turn into "You dont support my music" and I cant just say "no your music is shitty" i dont know... I was hoping he would realize I dont make plans or call him except for work and we could just slide into a good working relationship but he keeps inviting me out, saying his wife and him miss me... Half of me really wants to have the "Your very nice and I really like you but we're just good co-workers now" talk but I feel like he's so self centered he will take it as a personal offense and have me fired.... getting him hired was the worst desicion I ever made... I gave him a career, taught him a trade - got him three times as much money as hes ever seen, and hes fucking killing me inside.
          Hi Sweetie:

          Your buddy sounds like a card carrying NARCISIST which while there are many different degrees of this personality disorder, they are THE WORST people to have in your orbit.
          The bad news Sweetie is these people don't change and they don't stop. For e classic narcissist, people only exist to serve them....

          The good news is you may use that to your advantage, pain it he ass as it might be.
          1. No more car pools
          2. Get sick
          3. Brother sick
          4. Sister sick
          5. Mom sick.....
          6. Grandma in hospital....

          The object is to make yourself less useful to him, less attractive. He can't control your family getting sick or your car in the shop...

          Nothing's in stone of course.
          May I ask what you do because it sounds very...Thin Blue Line kind of job you have yourself in. Crappy coworkers are par for the course for most of but NOT a co worker we feel endangered by if we don't tow some invisible line...this sounds really more sinister than a obnoxious friend...

          Be safe, Sweetie :l
          On My Own Way Out Since May 20, 2012
          *If you think poorly of yourself, you can fail with a clear conscience.
          https://www.mywayout.org/community/f11/tool-box-27556.html tool box
          https://www.mywayout.org/community/f19/newbies-nest-30074.html newbie nest

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            #20
            Escaping bad friendship?

            How about "I need to clear the air here. I respect your right to your beliefs and to govern your life as you see fit as an obligation to yourself and I would never force my beliefs and lifestyle on you. Do you extend the same respect to me?"

            Other than that you've had a lot of good tips. Don't let yourself perpetuate victim mode. Good luck!
            Psalms 119:45


            ?Start by doing what is necessary, then what is possible, and suddenly you are doing the impossible.?

            St. Francis of Assisi



            I'm not perfect, never will be, but better than I was and not as good as I'm going to be.

            :rays:

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              #21
              Escaping bad friendship?

              I'm a mechanic.. We work on big trucks and it can be really dangerous, you really need to be a team, theres no room for not getting along.

              I think im going to politely ask him to stop inviting me out and hope it goes well... Im going to do it after I go out of my way to take him grocery shopping so maybe if he gets pissed he can remember all that I do for him...

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                #22
                Escaping bad friendship?

                I pussied out

                didn't tell him.

                but now they say hes going to get fired for not showing up. Of course I was warned about five times from different coworkers, none of us "supposed" to know. some say I should call and warn him and others say no, im just not going to call. I feel like a horrible person.

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                  #23
                  Escaping bad friendship?

                  What did you do, not pick him up for the commute to work? Other than that, I don't think you have any responsibility at all for his actions. I wish you luck in this.


                  "I like people too much or not at all."                   Sylvia Plath

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                    #24
                    Escaping bad friendship?

                    I called and warned him... I have a job interveiw friday, maybe I can just leave. My boyfriend said not to make him angry, he thinks he'll rob us if I piss him off :S

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