MY NEW APPROACH

[Tipplerette]

As many of you know, I've been around forever and have never made much progress. I've got a few A/F days under my belt and hope that my new approach will see me through to forevermore.

When I am offered a drink or tempted to pour myself one, my new response (to myself of course) is, "Drinking makes you crazy."

I don't mean crazy drunk, crazy silly or crazy in the head; I mean even if I only have one (and that had often been the case recently), I spend the next few days berating myself, obsessing, planning my next abstention and generally driving myself crazy until the next go-round.

I don't think a drinking problem can only be defined by how much you drink. My drinking problem has more to do with what drinking does to me psychologically. I don't know if it's because of my mother being an alcoholic or my son's struggles with it or what, but I haven't had drinks lately simply because I can't waste any more valuable time re-enacting the drama that follows inevitably.

That is where I am at and I hope I've finally 'matured' to the point where I stop the craziness permanently and get this life REALLY started at age 56.

[K9Lover]

MY NEW APPROACH

Hi Tips!

I was going to ask how you are doing! You know, drinking makes me CRAZY...and I mean KARAZZZYYY too!! lol And like you, it's not just the drunk crazy, it's the mental obsession, the tugging and pulling at my brain all freakin' day long! When I don't drink, all that goes away....who'd a thought?

I know how hard it is because it took me YEARS to get to this point. I've been "tracking" my drinking for a solid 7-8 years...what "normal" drinker does that?

Sounds like you've made up your mind. I KNOW you can do this. Stay close to us and we'll get you through the tough spots!

Love,
K9

[shelbysmiles]

MY NEW APPROACH

I'm the same way, Tipp. Nothing horrible has ever happened, I don't drink every day. But, when I do I obsess over it. It's not normal and it's not how one should live their life.

[Struggles 106]

MY NEW APPROACH

HI TIPPS!

Hey there-good to hear from you.

Sounds like a plan to me. I wish you all that you need to succeed. I have been victim of the all or nothing thinking too, and it's nice to choose the nothing side.

So glad you're back

[BHOG]

MY NEW APPROACH

Tip-
Every single person comes to his or her own reason/method for quitting. That reason may, or may not, parralell another person's reasons.
Bottom line?
If this works for you, GREAT!
You know you will have our support and our attention.
my wish for you is that you become successful in your journey!
Let us know how we can help, stay close and as always,
Stay Strong!

[Tipplerette]

MY NEW APPROACH

Thanks, as usual. Gonna be different this time. I've got two baby grandsons expected to be making their appearances this summer and my heavy drinking son will be the stay-at-home Dad for the first 9 months. He plans on spending the summer at our lake house so we'll be together 4 or five days a week for months. What better reason to be abstinent (if I can't do it for me...) than to do this to be the example that having fun is not all about booze.

But I really do feel like I've hit the proverbial wall with the crazy cycle of 'just the one' that leads to 'this time for sure' and back around... makes me DIZZY.

I'll be counting on your continued support and if necessary, butt kickin'... Thanks guys.

[K9Lover]

MY NEW APPROACH

We got LOTS of butt kickin' in our arsenal Tipps...don't make us use it! :H

[MonaCat]

MY NEW APPROACH

Tip...wow...lucky lady to have two babies on the way.

[Running4life]

MY NEW APPROACH

Hi Tipp, great to hear from you. I have the same problem, I beat myself up and say I won't drink tonight and then I have just one.
I think you have got it this time and you can help your son enjoy his children.
Stay in touch.
R4L

[Tipplerette]

MY NEW APPROACH

The worst enemy of people who are not fall down drunks stopping are those around them who try to convince them that they don't have a problem. it's the husbands, the kids, the friends who just don't understand that #1 if I think it's a problem, then, for me, it IS a problem and # 2 - They are not me and don't count my drinks. They may sit down for dinner with me and watch me drink two glasses of wine, then put the tea on but they weren't there while I had the pre-dinner martini or the two beers on the dock.

Only the person who is stopping knows the true physical, emotional and psychological 'problem' that alcohol presents in their lives.

Day four and counting ... or not ... seems like counting is futile when it's a forever thing but I'll have to count to 30 to get all the Bravo's and Well Done's that my little ego is craving... ;-)

[paulywogg]

MY NEW APPROACH

hi tipperlette,i like your new plan i was so sad a few months ago when you didnt post for awhile,perhaps this can be your own thread to track your progress and keep us posted,i understand how family doesnt think you have a problem,mines the same way! but we have to get healthy for ourselves,congrats on the babies coming my daughter had her baby boy in march and i swear when i held that baby he looked right in my eyes and said"time to grow up g-ma" and ive been working really hard on it,good luck to you,were here for you

[Struggles 106]

MY NEW APPROACH

BRAVOS FROM ME TIPPS!

You get bravos NOW for trying and thinking and facing it!

You are exactly right about people just not realizing. They do not know, and cannot know your personal hell that results from drinking.

We all have to be strong for ourselves, and not let the invitation of "having a drink" ever be a rational choice. I know what "having a drink" means for me and that is all I need to know.

Take care

[K9Lover]

MY NEW APPROACH

Hi Tipps!!

How are you doing today? I agree that others can never know of our own personal hell. It's something each one of us deals with no matter what kind of support we have, or don't have. I just wanted to check on ya today! Hope you're well!

K9

[kuya]

MY NEW APPROACH

Tipplerette;1493883 wrote: The worst enemy of people who are not fall down drunks stopping are those around them who try to convince them that they don't have a problem. it's the husbands, the kids, the friends who just don't understand that #1 if I think it's a problem, then, for me, it IS a problem and # 2 - They are not me and don't count my drinks. They may sit down for dinner with me and watch me drink two glasses of wine, then put the tea on but they weren't there while I had the pre-dinner martini or the two beers on the dock.

Only the person who is stopping knows the true physical, emotional and psychological 'problem' that alcohol presents in their lives.

Day four and counting ... or not ... seems like counting is futile when it's a forever thing but I'll have to count to 30 to get all the Bravo's and Well Done's that my little ego is craving... ;-)

I found the counting was valuable until I felt safe....which is different for everyone.

I remember that the problem before was your SO nagging you to 'have fun'. Can you not explain to him that you WILL be fun again when you are confidently sober?

I had an old friend whom I had not seen for 13 years come to stay last week......a VERY heavy drinker. Having spent time with the still fun and happy, healthy me she is determined to quit herself......she said she was scared she would become boring but spending time with me made her realise it does not have to be so.

[Wagoneer]

MY NEW APPROACH

Tips - great to see you back! I was sober 11 months and fell off. Had a hell of a time getting back on. No one knew about my drinking either and when I told them, they still don't! AUGH. I am on day 50 and still struggle with the thoughts every now and again. I just don't want to have to monitor myself anymore. It's freaking EXHAUSTING! Congrats on the babies! What a happy time. I wish you the best of lucj and am happy to see you (even though the circumstances are not ideal). You can do this!

Your friend, Waggy