I have been doing so well....drank WAY to much yesterday. Took flowers up to Billy's tree as his 1 yr. date is quickly approaching. I shouldn't go there, I know it and still go. Pieces of his car are still everywhere....little tiny piecesand I have picked up and picked up every time I go. Sometimes I still look at the door and think he will walk through it. Laughing and goofy like he always was. Budlight in hand....I still find his caps in the yard and cry. Everyone says time heals....it needs to hurry up! I have a HUGE bruise today...God only knows. I hate the person I am when I drink....whoever she is.
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Thanks Fan....you lost a loved one? I am so sorry. It sucks!!! -
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I have come to the conclusion that you never get over it, never, but you do somehow learn to live with it, and talking about him is a wonderful thing. He would be terribly hurt if you didn't miss him, now wouldn't he? Perhaps you should make a little garden there...not with plastic flowers, but with real flowers that others can enjoy his spirit, and you can have something to tend to when you go there. In England, in the old cemeterys they have whole gardens on the graves. It's a beautiful thing. My grandmother used to take me cemetery hopping, and she would tell me about everyone so I wouldn't forget who came before me and who she had loved. She used to take my cousins as well and we still talk about cemetery hopping. Maybe that's where I started to be so odd. Take care, AnemoneComment
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Oh Fan, I am so sorry...I would be in a mental ward. I think all the time "what if it were one of my children". That would be it for me. My pain is bad, but seeing my children hurt...remembering the look on thier little faces when I told them he was gone about killed me. My son has had a rough time...misses him alot. He's better now....time does heal..just a rough time for me.Comment
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TOC,
I wont say that I know what you are going through, because I have not lost somone in that capacity, although its my worst fear outside of losing one of my children. I think I told you before that my brother's little girl drowned when she was four years old .... it was very tragic for our entire family, but obviously the guilt and loss was almost overwhelming for them. I remember those anniversaries, especially the first one. I think the first is the hardest, but then it gets easier.
Hang in there and treat yourself as kindly as possible along the way....
big hug,
AllieWhat happens in Vegas goes straight to Ohio....Comment
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Billy was cremated, I have a lovely garden in my yard just for him....he started it before he died...I spread some of his ashes there. All his favorite flowers...roses, snapdragons, etc.. and a cross that glows at night. He will never be forgotten! More days than not, I do smile thinking of him....just a rough spot right now.Comment
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Allie,
Thank-you...I can not imagine...don't even want to, losing one of my children. I would be a complete loon. My heart goes to anyone that has lost a child...I just can not imagine the pain they feel or how they even move on. It is so strange that life just keeps going....it is so hard to relaize that life can just end so quickly....here one minute, literally gone the next.Comment
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It is strange and amazing isnt it? Here one minute, gone the next. I was offended when the sun rose the next day. How dare it. The world was not the same without Emma. It leaves your heart with a lot to ponder! I dont believe in re-incarnation, but that our life here is simply a stepping stone to the next. And the next is better, we are just the ones left with broken hearts. Time will ease things though...What happens in Vegas goes straight to Ohio....Comment
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TOC, my thoughts are with you love, so are my tears as i'm reading this.
Look after yourself xxsigpicXXXComment
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This is from a site called "What Did Jesus Do"..
How timely that it arrived in my mail box this morning.
Huggs to all who are hurting. Sooner or later we all get a turn.
Love,
Nancy
"Be still and know that I am God".
Ps. 46:10
A Time of Weeping
"What great blessings there are for you people that are
crying now! You will be happy and laughing."
-- Luke 6:21b (ERV)
KEY THOUGHT:
Sorrow is inescapable. Sooner or later, sorrow will touch each heart.
Sorrow at the loss of a loved one, sorrow over the world's evil, sorrow
at the gross inhumanity of people, sorrow at the world's rejection of
God's grace, or sorrow because of persecution for righteousness' sake
will not be forgotten. God will not allow a single teardrop to be
forgotten. He will wipe away every tear and have our sorrow swallowed
up in the joy of his presence and in our victory over sin and death at
Jesus' coming. God's blessing awaits all who bear the pain of righteous
sorrow.
TODAY'S PRAYER:
Holy God, sorrow touches many a heart today. Please be near and make
your presence known in the life of everyone of your children who
sorrows. I know that sorrow is part of our earthly travels, but please
encourage us, your children, with the presence of your Spirit and the
promises of your great joy that awaits. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen."Be still and know that I am God"
Psalm 46:10Comment
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TOC, you are in my thoughts and prayers. Nancy that is beautiful. xo, MaryComment
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I understand your pain TOC and I am sorry. :lI'm really easy to get along with once people learn to worship meComment
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All you can do is pray your way through it, honey. Latch onto a little vere or prayer and hang on ot it and breathe. Tommorrow will be a better day.
Love & Peace to YouComment
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Me too.Comment
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TOC, so sorry. sending compassionate hugs:hEnlightened by MWOComment
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