SISTER UPDATE

[bcp2013]

SISTER UPDATE

Ann so sorry to hear about your sister,my mom has a blockage and is getting checked more on the 8 the,she already lost a kidney a few years back and had a clot in her neck ,she had operation on, she is still drinking a bottle of wine a day,she always self medicated,she is in her 70"s and always says she's too old to change, were never too old, we just might be stubbornly stupid,,but we can only help ourselves, the other person has to want to help themselves,they will defend there right,even though it's wrong,best of luck,don't kick yourself if you can't help her, we can only be there for support, we have to want to better ourselves on our own, sorry she is not ready,sometimes we put blinders on and think the problem will go away if we cover our eyes,just like little children do when their playing,funny life is,just know you love her and that's all you can do,she is a big girl,no one likes to be told to do something,even if its for saving their life,l learned that ,l use to hate when my mom drank when l was younger, go figure l did the same but later on after my son was older, anyway all the best to you and your sister okay,have a good night!!

[Wildflowers]

SISTER UPDATE

There are ethical codes, laws your sisters Dr's must follow. I guess I'm not sure after you communicate with her Dr. that their will be any dialogue back. I'm guessing your aware of this Ann, cause your a sharp lady.

If you've already shared your own experiences of where you use to be, how you got out, what life is like now sober, I don't know what else to say. Except denial has so many layers. Unfortunately, many times until people are really miserable, they won't do anything to help themselves.

Just let her know your story, how much you love her, & that any time she needs you you'll be there, & that you understand.

I have a brother who's a food addict & diabetic. I've tried reaching him, but he also has underlying mental health issues & he won't listen to anyone. I won't love him, enable him either. It's hard, but I just remove myself from it the best I can.

[Rusty]

SISTER UPDATE

Hello Ann,

I am sorry you are going through this with your sister.:l Here is my input on your situation, for what it's worth. Before my family confronted me about my drinking (October, 2008), my sister.....whom I love more than anyone (other than my mom) in the world, and trusted beyond a doubt, went behind my back to my doctor. My doctor wouldn't tell her anything, other than to say she was worried about me, too, and gave my sister the name of an inpatient rehab. My sister wanted to know what meds I was on and that's why she called my doctor. She was worried because she thought I was mixing antidepressants and booze, and she feared for my life. I understand why she did it now, but back then I hated my sister for betraying me....and the sheer shame caused my drinking to escalate. Your sister's doc ALREADY knows she has a problem, but I'm telling you, going behind your sister's back will do nothing but make that wedge between you two even bigger because you have violated her trust (in her mind). Ask yourself....would you have wanted her to go behind your back to your doctor about your drinking? This is just my two cents....and I do not mean to make you feel any worse. I can feel your pain....my mother went through it THREE times with her sisters....yup, all alcoholics.

Did I go to rehab? No. I found my way out with the help of Baclofen, and from the people here, and I enjoy my friendship with the people on the Monthly Abs Thread.

I eventually forgave my sister, and our relationship is better than ever now. We've always been close, and I am delighted that the consequences of my drinking has been in the past for a few years now.

Keep us posted....we care about you.:l

[Wildflowers]

SISTER UPDATE

I remember my family taking all the booze out, hiding my wallet, taking my keys, telling me they weren't going to love me to death. Threatened to lock me up to.

I had money hidden, booze hidden all over the house, attic & outside. Extra car keys, stole from them, new the laws as well. I hated all of them for trying to take away my precious booze. Got to a point where they said fine drink yourself to death. Plus they tried other ways to motivate me.

Then there were times I said take it all out of here to, maybe earlier. It's hard to remember all of it.

I'm very sorry Ann!!! It's really terrible for them! You understand to!!! Terrible for everyone!!!

I can't watch that show Intervention now that I'm sober, or it's rare. I just want to get on with living.

I hope your Sister finds her way out!!!... :l

[Kradle123]

SISTER UPDATE

Ann Carolina;1499535 wrote: My doctor is really cool and he is in the same group. I am considering talking tohim about it. He helped me through the crack breakdown and he is great.

She would prob never know I told him. Just pondering. I might just talk to my doctor about it and get his input.

Damned alcohol. It's funny that I was thinking this morning about the expression "brutally honest", and how that can easily turn into being cruel depending on the situatuon.

I think I'll email my doctor and chat with him. He always responds so we'll see.

Thanks guys

Ann Lamott wrote that it is sometimes better to point with the sword of truth rather than slash with it... :h

Maybe you can point her over her with us...
:l

[mama bear]

SISTER UPDATE

oh...so many wise words here...and I understand where everyone is coming from
much strength and support