One Step at a Time - May 2013

[mama bear]

One Step at a Time - May 2013

home from therapy and tired
I am used to being tucked in around 8:30 and this is tiring, but worth it
the ex-girlfriend was there again tonight but it was ok
we spent alot of the evening adding up how much our addictions had cost us
I have wasted a fortune.....
gonna watch Netflix for a bit and turn in
love you all
GOOD JOB K9....keep us posted
I will talk with everyone tomorrow....just pooped right now.....mentally and physically
LOVE YOU ALL

[NoraC]

One Step at a Time - May 2013

How often are the meetings, Mama?

[Juja]

One Step at a Time - May 2013

Yahoo, Niners! On the 23rd I'll be sending positive vibes your way. Oh, I hope, I hope, I hope you get the job. So glad things turned out as they did with Sierra's friend. Therapy can only help.

Mama, I'm glad tonight's meeting was better. You don't have to do this, but you are? May I ask why? Maybe I missed something....

Absolutely no AB for this girl tonight. This morning was awful-- I didn't think I should have driven to work. Tomorrow night I'll take a quarter of a tablet. I didn't hear from my dr, but I'm hopeful. No cravings, really. I'm really looking forward to the weight loss.

Love to all.

[Juja]

One Step at a Time - May 2013

Good news! Dr just called, and my blood work was fine, and he will call in an Rx for AB. I'm on my way. Yahoo.

I feel so-o-o good this morning. No hangover from AB, AL, or Klonipin. All's right with the world.

Check yas later.

[JackDanielsGirl]

One Step at a Time - May 2013

Morning Everyone,

Got a busy day ahead, we are cleaning out the swimming pool today, so I won't be around as much but I will check in.

K9 - good luck with the interview on the 23rd.
Juja - glad to hear blood work was good.
Mama - I too was in IOP for a while, eventually got kicked out for drinking, those meetings are exhausting, and with the added stress of the XGF I can not even imagine. You sound like a very strong person so I know you can do this.

Sending strength, and grace everyone's way.

Happy Wednesday!
JDG

[mama bear]

One Step at a Time - May 2013

Morning peeps
EVERY NIGHT FOR TWO WEEKS Nora....
I just called the primary therapist and just left a message. I feel like it's been a bit of a bait and switch....
Juja - I got a DUI a year ago and this is part of getting my license back. I opted for the more intense "therapy" as I thought it couldn't hurt....but it turns out it is AA and I am expected to get a sponsor, go to meetings, do homework, call strangers who have been through the program and check in with them....I thought it would be more personal and one on one....
I have no issues with AA, but when in the hell am I supposed to find time for all that?? and God forbid you say that out loud.....if you do, then you are considered not serious about your sobriety.....AGH
ok....enough venting...back to work and training my new chickie...it's interesting coz she's a bit bossy....just like me!!
Juja - you sound so good this morning YAY
JDG....good to see you...will you do my pool next? Thanks for the nice words
Nora I am proud of you...you know the drill
love you guys....you all have helped me more than this therapy thingy......that's the god's truth

[K9Lover]

One Step at a Time - May 2013

Mama - Hang in there with the therapy. I had to do 18 months of group counseling. Boy did it suck! I thought I would never finish it. And at the time I was "only" drinking a 6 pack per night. Things steadily progressed after that.... I think therapy only works if you WANT it to...and at the time, I didn't! Oh and yeah, don't ever say "I don't have time for AA"...then they shout at you "But you had time to drink!!!". I have nothing against AA (really!) but I agree that I've gotten more therapy on MWO!

Hi to EVERYONE!!! Hope y'all have a great Wednesday. The weekend is on the horizon!

[mama bear]

One Step at a Time - May 2013

just got off the phone with the counselor
I am going to have some private therapy sessions with her and I don't have to face the ex-girlfriend anymore....it's better for her not to have memories of me or my son in her head right now
and I will NOT be forced to attend AA, even though she strongly encouraged it......which I totally get...
I feel MUCH better, especially coz I am munching on Zaxby's fried mushrooms...my new fav...

[NoraC]

One Step at a Time - May 2013

Mama - really glad that you can get some private sessions. That's great!

Juja - so happy that you're happy. :l

Love & hugs to everyone............

Now back to work. :upset::upset:

[mama bear]

One Step at a Time - May 2013

I feel you Nora...
back to work for me too

[mama bear]

One Step at a Time - May 2013

I am dead dog exhausted. I think the past few days have caught up with me....

[Juja]

One Step at a Time - May 2013

Yeah, I would think so, Mama. You've been through a lot, and it's got to be exhausting.

JDG, Mama is strong, really strong. But, so are you, so stay with us.

Wow, K-9, 18 months. That's quite a stint you put in. My friend had to go for awhile, too, but they set him free early, because they said he was doing so well. I was surprised, but he came out on the other side--10+ years sober, but not a happy person.

Well, folks, at the end of today I wanted wine. These were my first cravings, and I started playing the mind game...if I stay off the AB for such and such time, I can drink, blah, blah, blah. I was kind of scared, but got a grip. This is it, no more. I want freedom from the cravings, and freedom from the thoughts. I was so happy this morning, but anxious and sad this evening. I'm sure most of it is my present situation in life, and my marriage. Life will change, and I'll have time to do the things I love again. Hubs knows something's wrong, but neither of us brings up the elephant in the room. We will in time.

Sleep tight one and all.

[NoraC]

One Step at a Time - May 2013

Juja - :l:l I am so sorry for what you are going thru. Do what you need to do for you. I know it's hard.
Good job on the AB. I'm really happy for you. I was thinking today that I've been taking it for 4 days and I'm exhausted. But, for the past 3 days, I have taken a Lorazepam at about 2:30 pm. Never would have thought there was a connection but now I wonder. I do think that I've had tiredness on the AB before and it gets better. I need to try to check on my journal and see what it says.

Well - my son got his passport today. He's leaving on Tuesday for 2-1/2 weeks......Thailand and the Philippines. I hope he has a wonderful time. Of course, I'm a little worried (or a lot). He's going with a couple of friends that are quite heavy drinkers. Casey says that he won't be drinking.

Well - hope everyone is having a wonderful evening/or day. I'm going to get back to my book. I'm reading Summer Sisters by Judy Blume. Really good book so far.

:h

[Glass Half Empty]

One Step at a Time - May 2013

hi all
sorry I'm still not up to posting much. I've been trying to keep up with you all but I can't sit here long enough to reply.

Still having a lot of back pain. Juja to answer your Q - I have a lot of degeneration in my spine, as well as arthritis and an autoimmune disorder that causes inflammation. All are playing up right now, as is some other stuff.

forgive me if I dont post at the moment, I can keep tabs on you all on my phone but it's too hard to reply unless I'm sitting at the pc.
:h:h:h

[mama bear]

One Step at a Time - May 2013

Oh Glass....pyhsical pain is the worst. I will be thinking of you and hope you are finding some relief. I hope Demon AL is not sitting on your shoulder tempting you....
Juja...isn't it crazy how one minute we are on top of the world and a few hours later we feel like the world is on top of us??? But...you sound so much more upbeat the last few days. BRAVO on the wine. Can you get all of it OUT of the house?
Nora...about Casey. You know he will drink. Gosh.....that sounded mean. Not meant that way. What 20 something on vacation with drinking buddies wouldn't drink? The counselor talked to us about being around "users". Mosy of these were kids under 30 that had drug addictions. One young man, Jonathon, was addicted the synthetic pot. It's street name is K2 or Spice. Never heard of it, but evidentally it's REALLY bad and IS SOLD IN STORES!! What the???? Anyway, Jonathon is a very sweet, quiet, country boy and has a young wife and son. His buddies are still getting high and like to come "hang out" in the evening. He was telling us how they went outside and smoked and invited him to come. I was livid for him, but Thomas (our counsellor) told him he was going to have to sever ties of he was committed to sobriety. If they are true friends they will get it. MAkes sense, doesn't it?
Part of my complacency issue is that hubs enjoys his beer. So I said...ok...I will only drink on Saturday nights with him. And I will have no more than 4 drinks. But old habits were creeping in and I slammed on brakes. I will figure out how to live with his AL, but I am the alcoholic, not him, so I have to deal with it. And it won't be easy. But I love him and we have been together forever, so we will work it out.
Good Morning to all who follow....I will check in from the nut house today.
Oh...and about tiredness.....AB and benzos will do it...combined with grief, stress, and the obsession with AL. I have cut my prescription in half and am slowly weaning them down and I know it contributes to my "fog"
One of the kids on group was snorting all the stuff we talk about...I am amazed he never OD'd...there are some sick souls out there...
enough from me...off to find the coffee pot
I love you all to bits...