who am i?

[paulywogg]

who am i?

And yes drinking is like drinking liquid plumber,i feel....stupid.how,why,what?wtf?its creepy bud lite anywaya,but a lot!

[NoraC]

who am i?

Paulie I am right there with you! Hang in there. We need to start out taking a step at a time. :l:upset:

[fennel]

who am i?

Pauly, would you consider taking antabuse? It removes the option of drinking. :l

[paulywogg]

who am i?

Antabuse scares me Fen,id be one of the idiots who tries drinking on it,i just found out that my youngest daughter is moving to Oregon,i'm devasted and sad it's just a build up of alot of different things that i guess i just do not want to deal with or that's just a lame excuse,drinking does make it worse start out happy,end up sad

[YouKayBee]

who am i?

Or you are scared of AB because it might stop your drinking.

I didn't use AB because I'd already had a bad reaction to it, and I thought I might drink on it, so I tried something else until I got to the thing that would stop the destruction, BUT in that journey I did get to a point where I was prepared to do and try ANYTHING.

Are you at that point Paulywogg?

[paulywogg]

who am i?

Doc says antabuse wouldn't be good for me because he knows my drink history and the risks i take when i just have the F-its,he gave me campral again,i just get scared of it causing depression,it has a huge sticker on the side that says it can,jeez everybody is so different in what works for them as far as meds go,well i'm on day 6 and i feel alive,it's kind of weird but good,i've got more done this morning than i have in weeks,i've watched precious Louie nearly every evening,on the floor playing with him,bonding,when i was drinking i just wanted them to leave,i can't believe what a different person i become,thinking it'll be fun,thinking i'll only drink for one night,hmm,i end up lazy and bloated,depressed,in bed by 6 p.m,up at 6 p.m with a beer,wtf?i cannot believe how bad i got,i've been fighting this for nearly 3 years now,good stretches,but this last one hit me like a ton of bricks and i was right back,no worse than i was 3 years ago! worse,i'm just glad i made it out alive

[treetops]

who am i?

Good on you Pauly for seeing the doc. I think Alky is a. campral expert so he might have some advice. Did the doc mention any face to face counselling cos that might help too. Just work at it and think positive and for hells sake when you get the f--k it urge just don't don't don't. Sounds like talking it out would help you at those crazy moments?

[Guitarista]

who am i?

paulywogg;1691202 wrote: Doc says antabuse wouldn't be good for me because he knows my drink history and the risks i take when i just have the F-its,he gave me campral again,i just get scared of it causing depression,it has a huge sticker on the side that says it can,jeez everybody is so different in what works for them as far as meds go,well i'm on day 6 and i feel alive,it's kind of weird but good,i've got more done this morning than i have in weeks,i've watched precious Louie nearly every evening,on the floor playing with him,bonding,when i was drinking i just wanted them to leave,i can't believe what a different person i become,thinking it'll be fun,thinking i'll only drink for one night,hmm,i end up lazy and bloated,depressed,in bed by 6 p.m,up at 6 p.m with a beer,wtf?i cannot believe how bad i got,i've been fighting this for nearly 3 years now,good stretches,but this last one hit me like a ton of bricks and i was right back,no worse than i was 3 years ago! worse,i'm just glad i made it out alive

Well done Pauly. I'm glad you made it out alive too!

Re-read your post above if you're feeling wobbly. Congrat's on day 6. :goodjob:

G bloke.

[paulywogg]

who am i?

Day 13 again,trying to have more of a mindset of living each day instead of just getting through,been spending most of my afternoons/evenings with Louie and it's good because even though he's a tornado,he calms my nerves and gives me a sort of structure if that makes any sense,i just have got to try and let things roll off my back and not dwell on shit,and if i get a drink thought,push it out as fast as i can,i've also started walking again which helps to clear my head sometimes,asked for some nice walking shoes for my b-day but i'm sure i'll probly stick to my converse cuz my feet are so used to wearing those flat ass shoes for so long,still haven't tried the campral,i need a day when i don't hafta work or watch Louie in case it makes me feel weird,i'm doing an amino/vitamin shake in the morn,magnesium,fish oil,epo,5 htp(but i may try trytophan)at my last blood test my platelets were sligbtly elevated and after reading a link Mr.G posted on his thread,i'm thinking the 5 htp caused it,but it works so good for me! it really helps with withdrawal,for sleep,shakes and shit,i dunno that was my last withdrawal anyways,i cut 2 inches off my hair the other day and it looks short,i'm irritated,o.k enough rambling but that's what i do,just sorting everything out

[K9Lover]

who am i?

Vent away dear Pauly! Whatever helps. Sending you strength!!
Love from your friend on the "other" thread. :H

[Alky]

who am i?

Pauly, just take the campral. I've been off and on it for over a year. It's a completely benign drug. I've taken enough of it that I feel safe saying you won't get depressed or dizzy or suicidal or whatever's printed on that bottle. That stuff's there just so you can't sue. You won't feel it doing anything, except maybe after a week you'll notice your compulsive behaviors aren't so strong. You MIGHT have some gastric issues at the beginning (TMI, I know, but I used to get wicked diarrhea like clockwork after a dose, but that went away after a few days) but that's probably it.

And as the piece of paper that comes with the Campral says, psychosocial support always helps. I go to group therapy three times a week and our therapist requires attendance at outside support groups on top of that. There seems to be a resistance to support groups here on MWO, but I can unequivocally say for me, I probably wouldn't have made it this far without them.

[Alky]

who am i?

Pauly, just take the campral. I've been off and on it for over a year. It's a completely benign drug. I've taken enough of it that I feel safe saying you won't get depressed or dizzy or suicidal or whatever's printed on that bottle. That stuff's there just so you can't sue. You won't feel it doing anything, except maybe after a week you'll notice your compulsive behaviors aren't so strong. You MIGHT have some gastric issues at the beginning (TMI, I know, but I used to get wicked diarrhea like clockwork after a dose, but that went away after a few days) but that's probably it.

And as the piece of paper that comes with the Campral says, psychosocial support always helps. I go to group therapy three times a week and our therapist requires attendance at outside support groups on top of that. There seems to be a resistance to support groups here on MWO, but I can unequivocally say for me, I probably wouldn't have made it this far without them.

[paulywogg]

who am i?

Thanks Alky,i'm taking the plunge today,i'm gonna take my first dose at 11 a.m since my work shift will already be half over,it's imperative that i take another course of action right now,around week 3 i tend to get the fuck its,i'll update as i use it

[Alky]

who am i?

Pauly, you and I seem to have the same pattern where we can manage extended periods of sobriety, but then, as you put it, we get a case of the f-its and slip. Just curious if you've given any thought about going into an intensive outpatient program (IOP)? I'm currently in one and it has been helpful beyond my wildest expectations. Mine is 9 hours of group therapy per week plus an hour of individual counseling. You don't have to go away and check into a rehab, and you can still have your regularly scheduled life. Personally, I think it's better for people with our pattern than inpatient because once you're done with your 30 days, then what? We've proven we can do 30+ days anyway. At least with IOP we're not isolated. We're still out in the real world and have the opportunity to learn to deal with life as it comes at us. And if you start to stumble, you just come into the next session and talk about it so that everyone else can learn from your experience.

Anyway, I found IOP tremendously beneficial. I hope you give it some thought. Just make sure you get into a progressive IOP program. Some still revolve around the same old warmed-over Big Book studies. Yawn - been there, done that. Good luck.

[paulywogg]

who am i?

How do i go about finding an IPO Alky?does it cost anything?took campral this morning and at 11, but i only took half the dose,just cuz Monday is busy and didn't want to chance anything,i'll have another here in a bit and take the full dosage starting Wed,there was an incident where i got kinda shaky and anxious cuz i was cutting this kids hair and his mom was up my ass watching every move,but that could have been general irritation i would have felt regardless of the campral,no diareah yet either haha,i was reading the reviews online at it places very high in the ratings so i really hope and pray it works for me