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    #31
    who am i?

    so after a few "hair of the dogs"yesterday i actually enjoyed mothers day,a sober one wouldve been better but it didnt happen that way,today i went to work feeling off and on,the shakes,dizziness etc,think i had too much caffiene but i needed it,but at least there was no a.m beer,no at work beer,a couple now then ill go to bed early,such a positive vibe around the site,i love when its like this!
    I have too much shit to do today and tomorrow to drink:sohappy:

    I'm taking care of the "tomorrow me":thumbsup:
    Drinkin won't help a damn thing! Will only make me sick for DAYS and that ugly, spacey dumb feeling-no thanks!

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      #32
      who am i?

      time to start kudzu again i think,i just didnt really like it cuz it lowered my blood sugar too much and i had to eat constantly! i felt like i was gonna pass out if i didnt damn i gained 10 lbs during that time,but id rather be fat and sober?no scratch that,my longest stint af i was taking amoryn per lavandes suggestion,it worked good for me,a few side effects for me but,when i look back i really didnt give it enough time i guess,jeez ive got to get this together,im tired of it and im serious about this!
      I have too much shit to do today and tomorrow to drink:sohappy:

      I'm taking care of the "tomorrow me":thumbsup:
      Drinkin won't help a damn thing! Will only make me sick for DAYS and that ugly, spacey dumb feeling-no thanks!

      Comment


        #33
        who am i?

        Love your journal Pauly. Not only posting it but reading back will be a great aid to your success. :goodjob:
        Psalms 119:45


        ?Start by doing what is necessary, then what is possible, and suddenly you are doing the impossible.?

        St. Francis of Assisi



        I'm not perfect, never will be, but better than I was and not as good as I'm going to be.

        :rays:

        Comment


          #34
          who am i?

          Might be yesterday's news but I just read the post today and would have to say Inchy's post was pretty damn powerful. Do it the way that's comfortable for you Pauly, this is your journey, your life, and you're the one dealing with the consequences 100%. Own the solution whatever way works for you, that's the premise of this site after all. You can do whatever you decide you're capable of and you're capable of a lot. We all are.
          2023 - focus, getting it done, and living the way it should be and being the person I need to be.

          Comment


            #35
            who am i?

            so just getting off an 8 day bender,holy cripes! why do i keep doing this to my self? first day drinking always feels great,next day not so good so drink again to feel "normal"another blowout! then another etc,til im so sick,im puking all over the place,fixing crap or ordering dinner for family,watching my grandbaby buzzed,too drunk to pick my son up from school,just a goddamn mess! trying to taper it down,withdrawals are horrendous this go round!
            I have too much shit to do today and tomorrow to drink:sohappy:

            I'm taking care of the "tomorrow me":thumbsup:
            Drinkin won't help a damn thing! Will only make me sick for DAYS and that ugly, spacey dumb feeling-no thanks!

            Comment


              #36
              who am i?

              Sending you hugs :l:l
              "Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me.".....Carol Burnett
              ..........
              AF - 7-27-15

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                #37
                who am i?

                thank you nora for the hugs,i feel like an ass! what the hell am i even on this site for if i keep fucking up and giving in to the shit?! so stupid i tell you all,just dumb,and my life is full of enablers,hubs tells me to have a few,kids say who cares"everybody drinks anyways" just a rough week all around,easy to drink at work,fuck its just too easy!
                I have too much shit to do today and tomorrow to drink:sohappy:

                I'm taking care of the "tomorrow me":thumbsup:
                Drinkin won't help a damn thing! Will only make me sick for DAYS and that ugly, spacey dumb feeling-no thanks!

                Comment


                  #38
                  who am i?

                  You do belong here. I am struggling too and I have been here a long time. But, let's keep up the fight. :h
                  "Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me.".....Carol Burnett
                  ..........
                  AF - 7-27-15

                  Comment


                    #39
                    who am i?

                    It's not okay, pauly, and we all know it, regardless of what the enablers say. You and I know AL is poison to us, so don't listen to them.
                    How about an AF Sunday, or Monday, if it's too late for Sunday? Just a thought.
                    Stick around, okay?
                    "Remember, you are responsible for creating your life by every thought, action, choice. Choose well." Oprah Winfrey

                    Comment


                      #40
                      who am i?

                      Hi Pauly,

                      I'm guessing that you used to believe the people that told you it was OK to drink, but now you know better. That sounds like progress to me. You ARE making progress, you just have to keep trying. Hang in there.
                      AF since 6JUN2012

                      Comment


                        #41
                        who am i?

                        Pauly I first tried to quit over TEN years ago, I knew I had a problem over TWENTY years ago. Alcohol has cost me money, health and happiness and TIME I will never have again.

                        Don't be me......don't give in to the easy path cos it leads to hell. If people like your partner won't support you then ask them to go AL free for a month......if they can't or WON'T you will see they are the ones with a problem also.......maybe that will allow you to trust your gut and get free FOR YOU.

                        Comment


                          #42
                          who am i?

                          its the truth! a little while before i slipped when hubs said"have a few" i told him "hey,lets both stay off for at least a month"id let him have the weekends whatever,i just wanted him to see what i go through,he had beers the very next nite,my daughter who just had the baby is back on weed,my other daughter is a spice smoker,im really at my wits end! im gonna make it you guys,i swear! i have to
                          I have too much shit to do today and tomorrow to drink:sohappy:

                          I'm taking care of the "tomorrow me":thumbsup:
                          Drinkin won't help a damn thing! Will only make me sick for DAYS and that ugly, spacey dumb feeling-no thanks!

                          Comment


                            #43
                            who am i?

                            Pauly, Do it for YOU!! If everyone around you wants to drink and take other drugs,thats their choice not yours. I have a Grand Son who is a Drug Addict and a son who smokes to much dope and drinks far to much!!! I see others destroying their lives as well. I DON'T want to be part of that anymore. I chose to stop drinking almost 13 days ago.You can do this for YOU!:l:l

                            Comment


                              #44
                              who am i?

                              thank goodness may is nearly over! i was looking at my calender and saw how many days i drank this month,yikes! not good. it was all stop and go drinking for 2 weeks straight,well i definitely fucked up my brain chemistry cuz im 6 days af and its felt like shit! like when quit for the first time like back to square one,i didnt want to drink for 2 weeks but everytime i tried tapering or quitting withdrawal was too much,i actually got the shakes really bad while cutting one of my regulars,thank god i had a beer in a pepsi can on my station,i turned him away from the mirror and chugged that mofo! thats when i realized it was time to bite the bullet and say "fuck it,im done" if youre having withdrawal while theres still alcohol in your system,somethings wrong,also last friday i was reading "you know your an alcoholic when"from a couple of years ago and mama bear had written something like "when you consider suicide,cuz you cant stop" it hit home cuz ive felt like that before,you feel like youre in quicksand,and everytime you start to get a leg up it sucks you in again,well ive got my foothold,im not letting go,im trying 5 htp this time for mood and sleep crossing my fingers it helps,i still dont know why may was so hard?maybe nicer weather,wanted to get out and do something?well i didnt i sat around and drank all day and went to bed at 6 p.m,it didnt make me happy,it was a piece of shit! i cant have a nite to cut loose,it always turns into a bender! i swore if this last withdrawal didnt kill me,i wouldnt be going there again,fuck you alcohol!! dont steal any more of my precious time
                              I have too much shit to do today and tomorrow to drink:sohappy:

                              I'm taking care of the "tomorrow me":thumbsup:
                              Drinkin won't help a damn thing! Will only make me sick for DAYS and that ugly, spacey dumb feeling-no thanks!

                              Comment


                                #45
                                who am i?

                                day 8 out of hell,i was comparing my saturday this week as opposed to last and i have to say its like nite and day,last weekend i was sick,just plain sick lying in bed the whole day started with an 8:30 a.m beer,drank all day fell asleep at 7,this weekend watched g-baby saturday nite until 9:30,sober as heck and pretty damn happy,i even got him to laugh really hard for the first time! now imagine that the week before,wouldnt have been possible! still having funky blood sugar issues,ive gotta remember to eat before i get hungry,or else i feel hot,dizzy,and like im gonna faint
                                I have too much shit to do today and tomorrow to drink:sohappy:

                                I'm taking care of the "tomorrow me":thumbsup:
                                Drinkin won't help a damn thing! Will only make me sick for DAYS and that ugly, spacey dumb feeling-no thanks!

                                Comment

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