who am i?

[paulywogg]

who am i?

I know TT,thats exactly why i titled this thread the way i did,i need to find out who i am,drinking im loud,energetic,can talk to anybody kinda person,sober im back to the way i was before i drank,quiet,reserved,not very outgoing,which is fine cuz i know i was an obnoxious flirty drunken mess,dont like that person,but im having a hard time liking this person sometimes too,i cocoon myself to avoid drinking,its not healthy at all,i need to learn to LIVE sober,not just avoid alcohol,im having a hard time with that,everybody has hobbies and interests i really dont,except shopping maybe,used to love taking long walks before the sun came up,til stupid men kept harrasing,not sure if they thought i was a hooker or something(this IS vegas),i do love the kids and Bobby and of course baby Louie,i think the whole family is just stuck in a rut,and we need to find something to get the juices flowing again,at least when it warms up we can go to our little fishing hole again,hubs likes to go shooting i hate it so i stay home,well figure it out

[paulywogg]

who am i?

Ugh,a gloomy grey day in Vegas,dunno weather to open my bedroom drapes or keep 'em shut to block out the ugliness,if it would just rain hard,fine,but its just ugly,interesting i got out my calendar for all of last year and i counted the days i drank 87, thats still alot and we aint talking no one or two beers! but its still progress for me cuz i didnt have ONE sober day for 7 years before i came to mwo,it would have been 365 drinking days every year,poor Louie is sick,Kell seen some stuff coming out of his ear on wednesday but she thought maybe it was just some dried food that somehow migrated,anyways now he has a fever,she should have taken him wed like she was gonna,this has been a horrible sick year for everybody,not just us,maybe it doesnt get cold enough here to freeze germs,maybe people are gross and dont wash their hands,i dunno,im getting peeved about it though

[treetops]

who am i?

Has she taken Louie to the dr yet? Best to do so.

Hey Pauly you have made wonderful progress and slashed your drinking - that's such an improvement. You still have almost 11 months in this year. And I betcha you manage to quit. Give yourself a hug because I can't do it in person. Sorry it's a crap day in Vegas.

[paulywogg]

who am i?

Aww thanks TT,yes she took him to the doc and he has a slight ear infection,antibiotics and baby tylenol prescibed,hes so miserable though poor baby,acts too tired to sleep,hopefully hes better tomorrow

[treetops]

who am i?

Good about Louie although poor wee thing. I am sure he will be bouncing off the walls soon. I have great nephews who are always up and down with catching things - but they are resilient

[paulywogg]

who am i?

Just found out my co-worker found her dad dead after work today,he has parkinsons and fell off a stool,her brother who lives with him has schizophrenia just thought he was sleeping,so sad for her,life is too damn short

[paulywogg]

who am i?

Jeez,i want to drink!!!! horrible week off and on and i just dont care,why me?why this?fuck,its like my brain has shut down,im shaky,ugh

[treetops]

who am i?

hi Pauly Stop, wait and listen. Why do you want to drink? .Crappy week - yes - but is drinking going to make it better? maybe for a few hours but you know all the misery and self regret you will have later.
Can you do something, anything right now - that distracts you - takes you away from the drink ?
You know the craving will pass but
A) think about what good drinking will do you
B) try to distract yourself
C) or keep posting here I may not be able to respond but someone else will

Let some of the emotional tension out as well and be kind to yourself

Hugs xxxxx:h:h

[daisy45]

who am i?

Hey Paulywogg, hope you are doing ok. We are day 13 tomorrow - let's ride this out together. Go back over your posts and how you felt the day after drinking - you know where you want to be.......I know how you feel - I read stories of those that have made it and the struggles along the way - there is light at the end of the tunnel, that is certain!
Thinking of you........

[NoSugar]

who am i?

Hi, Pauly

You don't want to drink- that is just your alcoholic voice talking. Maybe you could post in the Nest or In another busier thread where there might be more people around to talk to. You can make it past a craving. It won't really hurt you but beer will. Stay strong! :l

[Marylou123]

who am i?

Hi Pauly - all that really sucks, especially since you have no control over illness, weather or death. But, you do have control over drinking and you can push through all these lousy feelings AF. I'm heading over to the nest now - come on in.

[paulywogg]

who am i?

I couldnt make it,i cracked,for fucks sake i dunno why,i read my thread i know what turmoil ill be in tommorow,just sick of being sick! i couldnt think clearly,i was shaking,i only had one thought on my mind,drinking,cripes,ill figure it out,thank you guys

[NoSugar]

who am i?

Can you stop now? If any is left, please just throw it away.

[Samstone]

who am i?

Hey Pauly
so what's up?

[daisy45]

who am i?

Pauly, take care, don't beat yourself up.......get a good rest, sleep in tomorrow and keep on going - you only fail when you quit trying.......and you have never given up, remember that.....lots of hugs and strength!!!