In crisis with teen-age pregnancy

[kuya]

In crisis with teen-age pregnancy

Prest4time;1504831 wrote: Eve,

I am glad that you are finding some peace with all of it now. I too had an unexpected pregnancy at age 17 (father was same age). I was shocked, embarrassed, you name it. But deep inside, motherhood was always a dream, just not so soon. Abortion and adoption were not options for me... this baby was already growing in me and my heart was in love. I am SO glad I kept him... words cannot describe the joy he has brought to my life. My Dad basically forced us to marry, which was good for a few years, but eventually the hardships overcame the marriage and he left. By then we had a daughter as well. I went through some tough years as a very young and single Mom, but both sides of the family pitched in and helped us, paid for my school. I eventually remarried a wonderful man and he adopted both of them. I think my ex-husband would have been more responsible and connected to them through the years, but unfortunately he came from a very dysfunctional family littered with divorces, abuse and abandonment, so he had poor role models. Sounds like you are a wonderful mother and I just want you to know this CAN work. I would have loved to have been assured that we could still co-parent and figure out the whole marriage thing later without threats and parents making decisions for us.

Thankfully, l stayed on my feet and today I am happy to say that he is now 26, graduated from college and just got married two weeks go to an amazing woman. We could not be MORE proud of him. My daughter also has graduated from college last year and just landed her dream job in New York. Their phone calls to me today for Mother's Day were filled with love and how happy they are. And at the end of the day, the whole experience has made me a better person. I wouldn't change a thing!

All the best to you

What a heartening story :h

Good for you!

[Stewarts]

In crisis with teen-age pregnancy

You're in a tough one. There is no doubt in my mind, that your initial advice, the adoption, is the clear logical choice...but that's it, it's LOGICAL. Matters such as these have so much more emotional, than logical thinking for obvious reasons. I'm sure your son is a good kid, and think he's doing the right thing, and thinks, for all intensive purposes, that he is a "man." Believe it or not, I can still remembering being that age, still feel like that sometimes, and you think you know and can do everything and anything. We all know he has no idea what he is about to take on.

However, perhaps there can be a positive. Perhaps he is forced to grow-up quickly in a world where the youth of today feel entitled to everything and are "owed" something. Perhaps, if he was to bring up this child, with its mother, in some fashion - oh, I totally do not agree with the married concept. I see where her dad is coming from, but no, definitely not, he'll be forced to become that "man" all boys want to be, although takes awhile, and in truth, is an ongoing process I think we never totally master to be honest. LOL

When I was 27, I had gf who claimed I got her pregnant. I'm not going to go into all the details of this drama, but let me tell you, I was FREAKED! I knew I did not want to be a dad yet and I did not want to be a parent with her, I knew that. My parents were very supportive and we got through it. I still don't know if she was lying or not, but a lot of facts point to that there's a very good chance she this was being fabricated, to some extent, if not all, but she went through great lengths, South Amrerican girl, latin girls can get a little, well, crazy, and do and say some outlandish things. Anyway, the point, be supportive regardless. Ironically, I got the best support and advice from my mom, which I did not see coming at all! I thought this was going to be more of father/son dilemma, but she was the real rock and voice of reason throughout that whole ordeal...she also had amazing insight into the what was going on through this somewhat psychotic girl's brain.

Anyway, I hope I shed some support, light, etc.

All the best,

j.