Suspect wife is cheating

[Alky]

Actually, I don't suspect, I'm pretty sure that she's cheating with a co-worker. It's 2:03am and she's out with him as I write this. I've even let the schmuck stay in my house and take over my home office as a guest room. My father just died last month, and I dried out primarily because I had to hold it together to get his funeral planned and estate settled, but the death of a parent, newfound sobriety and a cheating spouse may be more than I can handle for the moment. At least it is past 2am - past the cutoff for alcohol sales.

[satz123]

Suspect wife is cheating

Alky;1504447 wrote: Actually, I don't suspect, I'm pretty sure that she's cheating with a co-worker. It's 2:03am and she's out with him as I write this. I've even let the schmuck stay in my house and take over my home office as a guest room. My father just died last month, and I dried out primarily because I had to hold it together to get his funeral planned and estate settled, but the death of a parent, newfound sobriety and a cheating spouse may be more than I can handle for the moment. At least it is past 2am - past the cutoff for alcohol sales.

:lAlky.
You know the answer to this. STAY SOBER.
You appear to have let the two of them hooodwink you while you were on a bender ? Am I right. Now you've sobered up you have seen the light ?

Show then you are not a walkover Alky - you are worth more than that !!:l
Having said that I hope you are wrong

[learningtolovewinter]

Suspect wife is cheating

oh, wow. Satz said, stay sober.
Humans. Very sorry to read this....

[hadit]

Suspect wife is cheating

Alkie, Just hang in there mate! It must be a difficult time for you and we all know Alcohol wlll not help the situation. Please keep posting for support and let us no how you are going.
Try to keep strong and AF; you will deal with the situation with much more clarity sober.

[FlyAway]

Suspect wife is cheating

Alky first off, I'm very sorry. But I wanted to say that bad things aren't happening in your life because you're not drinking. Shit is going to happen, drunk or sober. The drinking will affect your ability to deal with all of this. Is there anything in your life that drinking has made better?

Being sober will allow you to keep your wits about you and handle this smartly. Part of becoming sober is learning how to go through life and all that it throws your way without numbing yourself out. Once you get some time under your belt and work through some life events you begin to see what a gift sobriety is. I hope you can stay strong. :l

[Nelz]

Suspect wife is cheating

As much as we "think" AL will help our situation, each and every person on this board knows different.

I cant imagine what you must be going through, but sometimes speculation is our worst enemy. How bad would you feel if she was not cheating?

I hope your assumption is false, but I REALLY hope you dont reach for the bottle for some sort of "comfort" that you will not find.


Stringing AF days together is hard, and sometimes life throws us more crap on our plate than we think we can handle, but at the end of the day.....9 times out of 10 we pull through. Getting past those first few days AF is key in remaining AF Good luck my friend

[Juja]

Suspect wife is cheating

I'm so sorry, Alky. Life has a way of piling on, doesn't it? Regardless, please stay sober so they can't justify their affair by labeling you as a loser or schmuck, or whatever reason they want to fabricate. You aren't either of those.

Gee, I can see me setting the guy's stuff out on the lawn this very moment.

[Samstone]

Suspect wife is cheating

Alky
very sorry to read this. Hang in there. I'll say the obvious: Any decisions made sober are made by you and not the booze.

[Struggles 106]

Suspect wife is cheating

Hey Alky

Sorry to hear this. And must agree about the drinking. You know it won't help.
And Juja brings up a good point-don't give them ammunition if this is happening.

It's hard to comprehend the behavior of people sometimes.

Hang in there and don't let them derail you. I have heard this-people behave the wat=y they think they are EXPECTED to behave. You drinking may be the expected behavior but it doesn't have to be the reality.

[Wine-no!]

Suspect wife is cheating

Hello

So sorry to hear your suspicions... Did you confront her about it when she got in? Is this colleague of hers still staying in your house?

I hope you are mistaken and that you can stay strong and resist having a drink.

Hugs.

[Frequent Traveler]

Suspect wife is cheating

Morning Alky,
I am sorry to hear what you suspect, but alcohol has a way of driving people away from us.
Stay strong and sober as it allows you to think clearly and logically, will be hoping for the best for you.
FT

[Mootsbill]

Suspect wife is cheating

Alky hope all is ok and you have avoided he booze. Xx

[Alky]

Suspect wife is cheating

Thank you everyone for the support, and thank you to Juja and the others that wisely advised against providing future "ammunition." Sage advice indeed. Anyway, the two of them are out on another date with another mutual friend of ours. I needled her a bit about tagging along, to which she said, "We're going to be talking about art, ballet, music and film...things that don't interest you." I bit ironic (I feel funny revealing this much about myself on an anonymous forum) considering I'm a professional musician that teaches at the college level and I'm the one that pays for all our museum membership dues every year, including the Met in New York. And yes, Wine-no, the nebbish is still camped out in my home studio/office until tomorrow. He comes down from the northeast to play gigs down here, which pisses me off on another level, because it's not like there's not a lot of fine professional musicians here in Florida and the rest of the southeast. Thanks for allowing me to rant, and thanks again for the support. Honestly, I'm too angry to drink - don't know if that's good, but whatever keeps me off the sauce, I guess.

[Anjicia]

Suspect wife is cheating

Have you confronted her? If it turns out to be true put the lodger out of your home and talk to her about the next step in your marraige. That was mean of her tonight to brush you off like that. But the i don't know the full story of your marraige when you were drinking.

[Wine-no!]

Suspect wife is cheating

I agree it was mean for her to brush you off... and with such a lame excuse... Can you call the mutual friend that they went out with? Maybe get their view on it?

I agree that you need to confront her... You don't deserve this.